i wrote you a poem

each letter filled with pain

each verse laced with longing

each stanza inked in tears
i wrote that it was nothing

just some simple misunderstanding

i wrote how i expected everything

but really, i didn’t see it coming
i felt it -- 
that i cannot deny

i felt your goodbye

long before the words left your lips
i wrote you a poem

each letter filled with pain

each verse laced with longing

each stanza inked in tears
i wrote you a poem

because i know i can’t serenade you with a song

i wrote you a poem 
because it hurts, ******.

I was
too honest
too reckless
too much invested
And you
the exact opposite

Tonight my demons are stonger
Tonight i shout surrender
Tonight i submerge in guilt
Not for not loving you the way you ask
But for expecting you to stay

Over and over and over again
Endless and pointless
But still you do it
Over and over and over again
As it has always been
As it will always be
Over and over and over again
The only way you know how
Over and over and over again
You love

pumped up and high on adrenaline
it's a long way from midnight but i'm here
i'm outside shuffling my feet
restlessly looking everywhere but what's infront of me
racing heart, tangled nerves and a mind on overdrive

i feel like a kid; clueless.

balancing myself; one foot then the other
.
on the brink of collapse; anytime now.
the cracks slowly opening; it’s inevitable.
hold me tight; wrap me in your arms.
reassure every piece of me; questioning my worth.

hear the silence of my sealed lips.
stare at the words spoken by my eyes. 
let my whole being shout; enough.

misleading quotations.
creative suicide.
a calm storm.
random habit.
broken smile.
burning coldness.
throbbing numbness.
trivial emptiness.