No matter how much I shiver
I can't seem to cool
The heat in the pit of my stomach

My name drips from your tongue like honey
Honey
Why is the only question I've ever asked of you

You tore the skin from my bones when you left
You carry around the molted layer of the person I was with you
And you call her Darling

You caress her in your mind
This make-believe
China doll self

You always did say we were just too much alike
Funny
How being without you made me more like you

Plagued with the thought
Of becoming the person who hurt me the most
I wonder what pushed you too far away

You used to call me a cynic
For saying I loved you with all my mind
And none of my heart

Well
At the moment
Darling
I'm feeling cynical as hell

Melon stained lips
Kiss the sunlight goodbye
Drunk on solitude
I've had one glass too many of you

Don't leave me alone behind the wheel
I might come to remember
How fragile I am

I don't like to be alone
There's just no one else I enjoy spending time with

One chance at love and I lost it
I blame myself
For making you squirm

I am cleverly forgetful,
Carefully sweeping the words you’ve spoken, like dust, into the crevices in which not even spiders dare tangle their webs
My own web is spun tightly enough for them all
Come, My Friends!
Sit back with me and admire each braid
How I have ever so carefully knotted them together with hopes long abandoned

Like the chimney sweep I am lowered into the realm of conscious widely accepted reality
“The Real World”
Pull the levers and haul back the ropes
This darkened confine is oh too familiar
I reject it on sight
Scrape and crawl I reach the light of day
Not a surface but a depth in which I refuse be pinned
Pull up my stakes
Cut every cord
My fist will shatter the sky like glass
It’s been far too long since I’ve tasted oxygen

I visually associate with a new piece of paper
Blank
Crumple and tear me
Toss me in the bin
5 points if you make it
10 points if you miss
Missing is what led me to you
Led me to kiss the blood from your knuckles
And brush the hair from your eyes
You say "perception is reality"
As you look like you've never lost a war

The source of humanities collected bitterness lays cradled deep in the sockets of my eyes. I can feel the steady thump as my beating heart pounds its fists.
This, you see, is a call.

A call in which my brain cannot leave unanswered.
By obligation it must crash the weight of itself from one side of its bone cage to another.
I cannot pin to it any blame
I understand that it must.

I understand the illogical yearn so strong that it cannot be denied.
You taught me the full force of this curse-like, painful, lust.
Being the most painful mistake I've ever made I know how foolish it makes me to think that even after you encoded your voice into my DNA, attaching each helix with your own unwashed hands, you are still a mistake which I'd easily make again.

Rather, I prefer, a learning experience
After all,
How else would I have ever learned that no one will ever love me more than I love myself.
With this clarity I finally  see
that you never could have loved me very much.

You have eyes that choke
Push the air from my lungs to save every inch for you
Not Enough?
Each word etched from the tips of your fingers to the back of my skull
It's worth the pain just to look into you eyes
I promised myself I wouldn't write you a love poem
I carefully avoid the word 'love' altogether and say I'm simply fond of you
Fond of the way you make my muscles contort with the smell of your skin
How my joints pop at the lick of your lips
Perhaps I am not fond of you at all
Only fond of the feelings you pull out from within me
They are excruciating
However
They remind me
I can feel; I am still real