Gasping for air, choking on tears and watered down blood. The water overcomes me and flushes out my eyes, my chests heavy.
Suffocating, everything becomes a blur.
Memories and words come back, painting pictures of everything I've tried to run from.
My mouth begins to taste like death and my ears plugged with sadness. I cannot hear a word they're saying now. Am I finally getting what I deserve?
But just like that, it snaps back. I find myself reaching out, grasping into the bit of reality I have left. There I was, this little girl wheezing and grabbing the bathtubs ledge, trying to keep herself from slipping back under.
9 months ago, I was grasping for air, choking on tears and watered down blood, only trying to drown my demons.

I stare at the wall- blank.
The ceilings caving in but I don't have the energy to move.
What has my life come to?
I don't wish for all the answers to my problems, but a peace of mind would be great.
As I sit here and ponder on the thought of killing myself, I end up with a soaked shirt.
Have I been crying this whole time?
I'm staring at the wall- blank.
At this point my eyes are dry, my neck is dripping wet and my hands won't stop twitching.
The blade lingers to play but there's no time for play when the ceilings caving in, now now go on.
I'm staring at the wall- red.
I've lost all feeling and my minds beginning to turn gray.
The blade finds it's way to me and I can't help but let it leave a trail from wrist to wrist.
I'm sorry I really didn't mean for all of this.

Overwhelmed by feelings, attacked by thoughts, this merry go round of hell keeps spinning..when is it my turn to get off?