Just when I catch my breath and come up for air and feel the sun on my face. My eyes embrace the sun. It's shinny here. I'm not use to this place. So, I dive back under to where it's cold and dark . See, I'm comfortable there. I like the struggle. It's all Ive ever known.
I get tangled up in seaweed and sharks infest my world. I have to swim a lot or die alone.

It doesn't have to end in a shakespearean way. For that has been done many times over. Its boring in a mind setting way. Final Act!
Courage must prevail.

Sometimes I smile at dum people, when they speak in their handicapped way. The other day I thought I saw someone sharing a glance my way.

I say let's take two clamps and tie those veins off.
                                           And, watch the tissue dissolve into nothing.

It's hard to be your own doctor, when the patient is crazy them self.

Who are we?
   What are we doing here?
   What the hell is going on?
   Why did you do that?
   Who and the hell are you?
   What in Gods name were you thinking?
   What's wrong with you?
   Why did you do that to me?
   Who do you think you are?
   I don't know you?
            And I guess I never will!?

She's just an angle who fell from heaven
       to fast and fury along the way.
     
       She broke a wing on her descend down to earth,
       see, she can't fly away.
       She landed with a spatter to no one that
       mattered who left her, bruised and battered.
       She's a child a God ****** !I don't understand how people
       can leave her this way.  
       Let's mend that wing so she can sing,
       and fly off to where she's suppose to be.
       A child of God. A person among people.
       A life that needs to be lived.

Twisted lies that you once denied, have  brought you to this other side. Snakes and demons have lied to your face. Making you lose all embrace. Now you are lost in a sea of millions. I can't save you now. Cause the world has deceived you. You will now be judge by them and not thee. You will  be drown by the thickest of thieves they will not rest till your body bleeds. Swim faster and get out of the water! But I know you are so tired.
And it makes my heart weak. One day I hope you can get out and breathe. Just breathe. Air is much better than water. ~~~

Come, sit in starry silence and stare at amber rain....sorry, I thought I heard you laughing. Or is it just me again?

I've dried myself off! I can't get wet anymore!
To you I look so strong, showing no emotions. But, I have moved on.
Only a shell remains here and it's set itself to stone.
I feel safe here. It's now a place I like to call my home.
When the waves come a crashing, I stand so firm! You can't grab me and
take me for your own.
Only the algae that's grows around me has any connections to this soul.
I'm safe here. I m at home.......

Really the internet is just an experimental *****. It's doors are always open to come in and explore. How much you leave behind is open for discussion, ignorance galore. So come  on in, we're open for business, like
...24.

With the whispering wind of sadness guides us through the light.
    May peace be with you turning your madness into bright.
    Bright rays of hope of what you desire and let this ring burn
    down your fire.
           Change the hardest thing to humans....

I m sorry the number u have dial is not in service. Please check the number you are trying and call again. Or call 411 for information.
         Again
First dial one then the area code and then the number.
          Again
I am sorry this phone does not except messages. Please try again later.
          Again
Hi, you have reached the office of I don't give a ****. I am currently
with another client. Or have step away from the phone. Please phone back during business hours from 3:00am to 3:02am. Thanks and have a ****** up day.
Or you can always send us an email at. www.we don't give a **** cause we're dealing with our **** @ poo poo. com.  Thanks for calling. Click....

Sparkling twilight zone of a world forseen
Who are you to guestion her of your love.
Branches scratches on the window pane
Of your love so mean.
Good luck sweet child you will walk alone
With a shadow of sorrow, empty promises
Of tomorrow that will never be
Sadness will rain upon your heart
And his soulless soul will fill your
Hole of promises that will never be
And you....well..you'll never be free
So go walk in the shadow and get lost
In tomorrow .......

You think you are something, but you are nothing.
You are just a whisper of a wind, in this thing called life.
You would be nothing with out me but yet you cause such pain.
You are a fool among fools. Go play your game but not with me.
For I see you for who you are. And, not what you say it to be.
Your lies you lie are building up around you.
        It's a shame cause I used to really love you but you are no more.
Just a fragmented piece that lays on the floor.

Lying naked and alone on my bedroom floor. Fragmented splinters left in the corners of my mind. I **** myself out just to stay on time. I live in a room on the second floor. But, really that girl doesn't live here anymore.
                       Shhh........ Do you hear him? I think he's at the front door. Oh God, I think he's creeping up the stairs. I can't take it anymore!
                             Rag Doll..............Rag Doll... Shake that furry tail!
                             See her? ..............See her?..... Nowheres!

                    Lost, lonely, and confused once more.......****** where are you?

Scattered pieces fallen everywhere. Why I do not know. For I already told a lie ----- cause I had no sense of self. Twisting, turning, burning.
I grab one piece and run, my blood soaked hands yearning for a life I use to know.

Creative errands that run in time have brought me to this centre line. Where I go it's up to me. Believe in yourself and you will be free. What you are doesn't have to be. Believe in you and set yourself free.Come sail away from this writhing hoax. For all it was, was a centre of jokes. This is not how it's meant to be. But you didn't decide on what it was to be.

Listen, the world is bigger than the end of your nose

A game of chance?
            A roll of the dice?
                     A spin at the wheel?

Or is it as methodological as a chess board match. Each move filtered from the last.

Why, yes good man don't be a fool. Where you move now is where you'll be taken. One false step and it all could be mistaken.

So my life is built on a step ladder? The higher I climb the greater the latter?

Yes and no ---- only you will see later. Good luck my son you must journey alone.
          But remember.....
If you are constantly looking back then maybe you have taken a destructive path.
Reboot and untangle those twisted wires. For man was not built to sit for too long.

Upon reflection a smile brims on her face. She sees the world through tainted eyes that no one will ever embrace. Fantasy, dolls, linen and lace. Everything's so perfect, there nothing to take. How lovely am I to live in such grace. Such a sweet girl she must be seven or eight. Vibrant colours etched in her mind. She sees only one thing at any given time. The world is  perfect so she dances about. A thunder cloud snaps and she begins to come out. That's okay it's medication time and the ward is giving them out.

Dancing, shifting, laughing through an empty light. Movement magnifies my cross of flight. Here we go again into the midnight.
Paralyzed by fear knowing something is wrong. I try to catch myself but my brain has moved on.
I am stuck inside this body with no hard drive. I don't know which circuits are still left on.
I am going through a tunnel or my body starts to float above. It's best to go to night with the lights turn off. Not flicking on and off like a strobe light show.
For I know here we go again and I m paralyze with fear. Can't talk, can't move, or move too much, or stare. Muscle movements, muscle twitches. Switches being overstimulated.
I am locked inside this body with no escape in sight. Please help me Lord! For the snake is  by and he is crawling in my head.
I feel like screaming out let this madness end.
But my voice is gone and he taking me for dead.
I have to breath.......I have to breath that takes all of my focus. I don't like people near by I like to be left alone for I have no control and it's a scary sight.
What you see from the outside is magnified a thousand times for me. For I felt myself falling in a blink of an eye.
It doesn't really matter it's not like you can save me. I cannot even save myself.
See, a gust of wind blew by me, and took me from myself.