Lord my soul has been dismantled, pandering out of my rib cage it's looking for a new breeding ground. My face is neutral but my body is in a panic. The food for my thoughts have been rotten for days and it's hungry again. I'm not a virus, I'm not infected. Over and over it's under my skin. I can't break this underlying addiction. I want to be what you drown and manifest in. Let me be your overdosed addiction. My ****** organs slowly turn when our faces use a language it only understands. I can't control it's ticks.  Let's destroy ourselves and rebel in the madness. Such perfection me and you losing control.  Get a little closer let yourself unfold. My brains faucet is leaking.

My cogitation suffers inside
Pleasured by neglected infections.
I will damage your insides
Leave you naked and misdirected
Naturally Im taught to take what's mine
Leave emotions uncollected.
Push aside honest lies, unfaithful dreams,
You die inside every time you fail to speak.
Im the darkness you love
The disaster you carelessly seek
The trouble you need,
The obsession that initiates your thoughts to bleed
Lets leave our fantasies to be teased
Beg for the sin of love on our knees.

I Jammed the pain inside, to wait for the defects to reside. Today strays and wanders away until it's stuffed down inside the void of discomfort. Let's roll our imagination onto light able paper, light it, and watch it burn..

See because that's what addiction does. It overrides your body latching on your inner artistry for its fuel. Pretty soon you become a machine, something mindless. Fasten your seatbelt because your on auto-pilot.

Now the transactions of your body really start to inaugurate. Your internals no longer has what it takes to fight, to resist, so now come the alterations.The tips of your fingers go hand in hand with the tip of your tongue. How your saliva's lust for substance dismantles the chemical compounds. Your taste buds loving that all too familiar feeling. Your greed full blood consuming every inch of it. As the destruction slowly trickles down your throat your anxious. Then the finale comes, the moment you've been waiting patiently for  the manipulation and overhaul of your brain and your reality remodeled, your home.

In those seconds pain is never an option, never a thought. Your lost out at sea. But that's all it really is, seconds, minutes, sometimes hours, just a little more time to stick the dysphoria on the back burner. When in truth you've just deepened the scar and exposed it to infections. When it's gone your left with broken thoughts that feel unrepairable.

Addiction doesn't just come from pre-packaged materials, they come from every entity you wish that blocks the truth out. They come from unfulfillment , pain, and soak themselves until you are left with no control. You have to fight, fight for your life. Face the music

I look for the source of the disaster. I look in the mirror and it decides to screech. I'm lusting for love and a dime's worth of affection. Haunting vibrations are crippling my decisions. Everyday is unedited from the previous one. Looking for new high's in a comfortable setting. I want to change reality forever so I soak myself in fantasies and exchanges that don't really exist. Im sick of being stuck, nailed to my vexatious living pattern. That's what life is really about, patterns, how you change the patterns. How you leave a mark, a little piece of you, dwelling in forever. I'm a creationist, I consume to create, destroy to rebuild. I'm bored so I dang on the edge of abyss's . I want to see how far I can go, how deep can I scare history. It's all a matter of perspective really, what you sink your desire in. You could be the most beautiful tragedy, a crying saint, a god, love, the Devils cashier. We don't live by rules, there can't be rules, we will never reach our full potential. We have to stretch every emotional and physical boundary we have. We have to be successful or we lose.

I want to insert you in my veins, sniff you into my thoughts, drink you into my soul, overdose in your presence. Plagued in disasters, I need redemption. Free my bastered soul, it’s mischievous and deluded intents. Let me be your fear, set you still lay you down, sink my teeth into your throat and take whats pure. Your legs on my shoulders, let me drown in you. The way you live needs love, the way I love needs alterations. Submerging ourselves in broken dreams and empty vows. Lets **** until our heart drops, gasp until our heart stops. Choke on our words, praise fake lords, pursue diseased ******. Let’s create for havocs sake.

My thoughts are rotted and my soul smells like sulfur.
Violence has become habitual, spirituality has become vexatious.
I'm a ****** scene, the bright yellow on the caution tape.
My brain , my heart , they still need to make the distinction that there in the same body.    
Emotions have a deficiency so I yoke them up and ******* them to people.
Long enough in an abyss and your suffering starts to suffer.

Being beautiful, respect ? What's the point ?

I want to die with scars on my faces.
I want the broken bones, the bruises.
I can't go out with this charming face, it isn't honest.
I don't want to be a copy of a copy of a copy.
I can't control my shakes I shouldn't be enjoying this

The cravings I have for you are undisciplined, thriving by the second.

Every word you speak, every breathe you take I need to inhale and hold my breathe, selfishly, trying to keep as much of you vibrating inside me. Your my personal overdose, my rehabilitation.
  
Every interaction we have echoes until time becomes misplaced. The contact of our skin, collision of our emotions, carnality of our voices blending in. I was lost and erratic, you were my salvation.