I'm scared of myself 'cause I hear voices in my head,
Telling me when I'm wrong, saying I should be dead,
The voices question my sanity until even I think I'm crazy
They tell me that I'm all alone, that no one stands by me,
They say I'm unwanted and feed on my fears,
They claim that when I cry no one sees or hears my tears,
That no one cares when I cry,
That no one will miss me when I die
And no one truly loves me even my own wife.
When I'm angry or sad, they whisper in my ear
To eliminate the source of my pain, but I choose not to hear
Because I don't want to hurt anyone, to ****,
So then they tell me I should die, but I live through sheer will,
Hope that one day I'll wake up and the voices will be gone,
But I don't see how - they've been with me so long,
Questioning everything about me 'til I think I'm the worst,
Saying that the worst day in history was the day of my birth
The voices hurt me mentally, emotionally,
Sometimes they even hurt me physically
It's hard to live with them, to share my mind,
To feel like my brain isn't even mine,
To fight them off, to hold them at bay,
To try and be normal, push those voices away
I know I could tell someone, ask for help from them,
But that may prove to be a bit of a problem -
They may lock me up, calling me "crazy",
Tell me that I'm insane, a danger to me,
So I'll keep it inside, keep this secret shut away,
And keep on trying to live my life everyday
'Cause I'm not insane, I know what this is:
The only thing wrong with me is that : I'm schizophrenic that everyone hate.

I lost a great innocence when I understood that I and my mind were not going to be on good terms for the rest of my life. I can’t tell you how tired I am of character-building experiences. But I treasure this part of me; whoever loves me loves me with this in it.

Alice: "How long is forever?"
White Rabbit: "Sometimes, just one second."

Alice : "Have I gone mad?"

Hatter: "I'm afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are."

There are things that we don't want to happen, but to accept,
Things we don't want to know,
But have to learn,
And people we can't live without,
But have to let go.

Chapped lips
Dark circles
Boring days
Anxious nights
Dangerous habits and thoughts
Slipping back in my mind
How much longer
Do I have to do this?

What you think,
you become.
What you feel,
you attract.
What you imagine,
you create.

Humans?
Yes.

Humanity?
NO.

You can't blame prince charming for not putting an effort to let all of the maidens try on a glass slipper just to find you, when you didn't put on an effort to climb down the attic and confess your love to him.
You can't tell him that it was his fault that you rot sleeping inside your tower, when you shouldn't even been playing with needles in the first place.
You can't hate him because he married ursula when you were the one who rescued him from drowning, just because you could'n step up to own what's yours.
You can't cry over him just because he didn't scream your name so you could let down your hair and let him rescue you, even you should have just cut your hair and tied it down so you could escape all on your own.
You just can't say it's his fault because honey, not every princess could be saved.
And if you just sit there waiting for a rescue, it's either you die waiting or you end up waking up one day, being the evil queen.

Why I couldn't I post a photo here on HelloPoetry? Hmm.. Too bad..

I don't understand why we must do things in this world, why we must have friends and aspirations, hopes and dreams. Wouldn't it be better to retreat to a faraway corner of the world, where all its noise and complications would be heard no more? Then we could renounce culture and ambitions; we would lose everything and gain nothing; for what is there to be gained from this world?

I want to emphasize the importance of surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about you and feel proud to have exist.