I am depressed.
It happens once in a while.
I can see it coming.
Like dark clouds reaching my piece of the sky.
They roll and thicken and cover the entire sky.
Distant thunders and pale lightnings peep through them.
I suffocate and long for a rain.
Oh how I wish the rain just splash out of it.
And wash away all the anguish with it.
I  love that rain!
Rain of my own tears.
And the relief after the rain.
Like meek sunrays slowly spreading in.

Some tell me to fight it off.
Some tell me to pray it off.
Some tell me to work it off.
Some tell me to sleep it off.
Some tell me to write it off.
Oh! but the ecstacy is to cry it off!
For little they all know about my anguish.
I have tried in vain to explain and sealed it in.
Like the drop of rain in the oyster of my heart.
One day it was destined to turn into a pearl.
Behold! My beautiful pearl!
My Anguish!
Finally versified!

I was drowning.
I dont swim.
But I jumped into the sea.
As I trusted some fraud.
And I was drowning.

I found hands around me.
Trying to push me up.
But even in the middle of ocean,
Those hands were all over me.
Disgusting.

I looked around one last time.
Pleading with my eyes for life.
Not far away I saw him.
The safest looking boy on earth.
Swimming to himself.

I thought I knew him.
A friend of a friend.
I grabbed him and clung to him.
Clung for my not so dear life.
I was afraid to die.

He must have been perplexed.
I just hung to him and blabbered.
I wanted him to save me.
Take me to shore, to family.
I just cried in his ears.

He just started swimming.
Swimming with all his might.
Really mighty  he was.
To grab a fighting me and swim.
Without ever letting go.

I gasped,cried and struggled.
I complained,wailed and raged.
I was hysterical and shocked.
He just continued to swim.
Never giving in to my tantrums.

Many a times I pulled him down.
Kicked him as I was trying to breath.
I pulled his hair and scratched his body.
I  pushed his head down and gasped.
He just kept on saying "Not far now"

He did take me to shore.
He gave me his breath.
He made me throw up the sea water.
He made sure am dry and warm.
He smiled at me and I felt safe.

Then only I noticed he is so grown up.
Not so much of a kid as I thought.
He extended his hand and told his name.
I sat there bewildered as I was wrong.
He was not my friend's friend.

He looked at me mused and smiled.
May be he thought I didnt follow.
He turned and walked away slowly.
I sat there watching and grieving.
Then I sprang up and followed.

As he is the safest friend on earth.

The Train!
It connects me to you..

I board the train.....
Leaving behind,
My family,
My friends,
My town,
My mother tongue
My culture,
My religion,
My familiar places,
My familiar faces,
My familiar tastes,
My possibilities,
My dreams,
My little joys...

I come to you....
In this train...
After each holiday....

For you are my joy...
You are my dream...
You are my familiar face..
You are my family...
You are my friend...
You are my god...
You are my life...
You are my language...
And my delicacy....

But as this train takes me to you...
I see the greenery fading behind me....
I see the geography changing....
I see the colours growing unpleasant...

The wind becomes dry....
The rain fades away....
The air actually stinks...
And my heart begins to sink....

The train....takes me to you....
I see you waiting for me...
You hug our little daughter...
And take the luggage from me....

You say, chicken is in the freezer...
Milk we will have to buy..
The rat ate the rice flour....
And...we will cook the chicken today...

I say,...I missed you !
You say ...oh yeah...me too....
And I know you really did...
You had to make dosa yourself...

I turn to stare at the Train....
It took me to you...
Its taking a rest...
After delivering me to you...

At home...our day dawns...
I am in the kitchen...
You on bed with the news paper...
Then you watch tv and I cook....

Then you check mail...while I cook
Then we both cook and taste it....
And we say wow...and I cook more...
We watch movies and eat what we cooked

Then I clean kitchen while you sleep...
And I cook more while you watch tv
And you ask me if food is ready....
So that we can watch another movie....

I want to tell you,....
That my birthday was dull without you...
I want to show you all the things I brought...
But yeah...we can wait for the movie to end....

I hear the train passing by...
I hate the commotion it makes....
I hate the people sitting in it....
With foolish dreams packed well....

I come to bed at night...
To see you sleep peacefully...
Just then the night train pass by...
And I hate it....all the more....

It brings me to you.....
It never brings you to me....!