I thought we were through
i thought i was done
for months and months i felt nothing
we were together but i was gone

when it ended i expected
to feel released,
a new freedom
but instead, i got nothing

i felt nothing
no joy, no happiness, no pain
no sense of loss
or freedom to find something new
nothing

and now after months and months
and almost years,
i remember.
i love you.

i wish you wanted me too.

i keep expecting this to hurt
i keep flinching and then
theres nothing

it doesnt hurt
to read the words
no longer true

there was love
and now theres not

i am numb to you

and i dont know why
i cant hurt.
maybe i cant feel at all
maybe its meant to be.

maybe you dont belong here.

youve numbed me.
but im not sure im okay anymore.

i listened to all of your lies
all of the things that hurt you
and there i sat
empathizing. caring.

i believed you
i loved you
i tried so hard to save you

but in the end it was a lie
you didnt need saved at all

I hated Him for all that you "didnt" deserve
for all that i had, that you did not

scars on my arm will remind me
of your worthless existence
theres only one think i know is true

i am better off without you

I know that you will never know
but i cant keep back the thoughts of you

and maybe he cans see it in my eyes
that all i could love is you
but there is nothing i can do

because you will never love me back

So ill stay in this place
where i dont belong
and make him feel
what i wish i could

only my heart knows the truth

And he watched
as she drew her soul
into the empty paper
in front of her

freedom came through
the explosions of ink
that intricately depicted
the thoughts in her head

you could see them silently flowing
from somewhere deep inside
through her hands to the page
where they permanately
exposed her heart to the world

if only they could understand

As she slept
Time passed on
every moment leaving
something new.
and thoughts
poured through her soul
and grew,
each moment
was refreshed.
a new thing to prosper then die
to let something else begin.

and it went on that way
avoiding broken pieces on the floor
each step becoming less painful
than the one before
guided by a light that blinds

then the path was cleared
broken pieces put away
as useless to the world
as the things that had them
laying on the ground at all

memories of you play
over and over
like a tacky jingle
stuck in my head

terrorizing my brain

dont ever think
that you meant something
to me

dont ever think
you were worth
another glance

in the end
you dont  matter
to anyone

your worst fear
come true

i am through with you
and id be better off
with you gone

But youre still here.