There are thirteen things
She hates about her life
She isn't good with people
She's never been a wife
She has a few more curves than all
The girls in magazines
But then again, who doesn't?
They all kind of look like beans
She doesn't like her GPA
Or her major at her school
She doesn't keep up with the hipsters
And thinks she isn't cool
She wakes too late each morning
She drinks too much caffeine
She has a patch of freckles on her nose
And her eyes are one blue, one green
She keeps a messed up journal
Where she writes her wicked thoughts
She doesn't exercise enough
Although she knows she ought
Then there's last, but never least
That to others she can't impart
The thing she hates the very most
Is her cold, dark, broken heart

What a year. First a divorce.
Then financial trouble, of course.
Losing my house and losing my car
Led to time spent in a local bar.
There you were. Masculine bravado.
I figured you were gay. Shows what I know.
Too pretty to be real, like Olympus was your home
Walking up and programming your number in my phone
You had a lot of nerve. Your game was impressive still.
My heart was yours at that moment, though completely against my will.
And so it goes, or so they say, that all good things must end.
But 9 years later, I'd sell my hands to be in '04 again.

She wears the cloak of strength and solidity
And carries a shield against self-pity
Her eyes tell tales of battles long gone
But scars have made her heart their home
Bruised but not broken she walks her own path
And beneath debris in the aftermath
Lies her integrity and in all honesty,
She's not the person they think her to be
She is simply a soul in a shell made of stone
But stones can crack-as is well known
And crack she has - her outward warrior goddess
Underneath it all she's shy and modest
Because of the fights that came before
And this is just another war
She'll push back down the little girl inside
Who wants to scream and run and hide
She'll face this conflict with cloak and shield
And her inner weakness won't be revealed

Sitting in traffic
Trying not to break
Painfully sorting through
The decisions I must make.
Out of nowhere, sounds I hear.
Louder they become.
It sounds like ******, pain and fear
All rolled into one.
I cannot fathom where on earth
The screams originate.
I look to the right, the left and ahead
Where people congregate.
I'm instantly there amidst the crowd
Their faces full of dread.
There, lying in a sea of blood
A young girl is obviously dead.
Her face is swollen; her hair is tangled
One foot is missing a shoe.
Her arm is twisted; her body mangled
Her chest is black and blue.
Suddenly, I started to cry
As I finally began to see
The screams, the fear and the blood were mine.
The girl laying there was me.

Too many to count
Her alternate worlds
There's one in which
She's an innocent girl
Who's never been hurt
And never destroyed
Who catches the eyes
Of all the boys
There's the one in which
She's been called insane
As if they could fathom
What goes on in her brain
Then there's depravity
A world of desire
Where anything goes
And all admire
Another that offers
Candles and romance
A fantasy, this
For she can't even dance
But all the worlds in Underland
She'd trade in no time flat
To feel a sense of worth again
To put on a different hat
For just a while to be one person
Without the flavors and shades
But hope is futile. This is her life
From now til the end of her days

Isolation
Desperation
In a hell of my own creation.
Scared to Love
Scared to live
Apprehensive- Scared to give.
So much inside
It hurts to smile
Hurts to breathe
Hurts to cry.

Are you my shade or are you my shadow?
Will you bring me to life or deal me the deathblow?
Am I crazy for loving - crazy for needing?
Insanity leaves my exhausted brain bleeding.
You keep me at arm’s length,keep me holding
Waiting and wishing,through all of the scolding
My mind tells me something; I know I should listen
But my heart is at war... death is its mission
Death of the pain and death of the lies
Death of this ****** hope,death while I cry.