I really don’t miss you one little bit
I got plenty of things to get by
Not a worry at all I’ll have such great fun
With all my friends, me myself and I

I’ve even forgotten how long you’ve been gone
I’ve not even considered why
5days 2hours 4mins and 30 seconds
Not counting, with Me, myself and I

I Never considered what made you go
I never just sit down and cry
I’ve never been happier in my little world
With friends like Me, myself and I

Remember the time we spent having fun
I don’t, and I don’t even try
So I’ll just carry on with my wonderful life
With my friends, me, myself and I

So just carry on, leave me to my fate
And dwelling with my little lie
And maybe just think of me now and again
With my friends me, myself and I

Ug and Og the cavemen thought they might have a dance
They didn't know quite what to do, but thought they'd take a chance
They advertised throughout the caves for friends to have a go
and many said “what is a dance,” and Ug said “I don't know”

They called in Lug the village chief, to tell them if he could
And he explained, he saw this once just by the local wood
Many people gathered round, and bounced and jigged all day
With beer and popcorn passed around it really was quite gay

So everybody gathered when the big day came around
Ug and Og had made some beer, and popcorn by the mound
Everyone had dressed their best to show off to the crowd
Even Loo from number nine was looking rather proud

Everything was going well, and jigging up and down
When Luggy Doug got hit by Wert for acting like a clown
He turned around to get away and fell right over Loo
Who happened to be in mid jig, and so bounced of big Su

Su went rolling across the floor, and bowled over Lanky Lang
Who reaching out to save himself, punched LooLoo with a bang
Now Bam loved LooLoo very much, so he thought he should
Come running across the crowded floor, to help her if he could

He slipped on beer that Su had dropped when hit by Luggy Doug
And landed on the pile of popcorn. Freshly made by Ug
The popcorn went up in the air, and scattered all around
Then Og slipped up and all the beer landed on the ground

Widow Grimp came from her cave “Whats the noise” she cried
Then spying all the mess about, went quickly back inside
Now soggy popcorn lay around, and no one wanted more
and so the party ended up with a mess upon the floor

Ug and Og were left alone to clear up all the floor
and they were laughing all time. Bout what had gone before
Window Gimp ran from here house with brush and empty bin
and stuffed it full of dried popcorn and took it all back in

Only Ug and Og were left, they thought the party fair
No one got to do much dancing,  that didn't seem to care
Widow Gimp had stocked her larder for the coming days
and the pigs, they had the rest, served up in metal trays

While walking down a lonely road
I came upon a man
sitting in a rocking chair
staring at his hand

Have you ever touched the sky
Or seen the stars with just one eye
have you ever seen the tide
wash away all it can hide

have you ever just sat and stare
at things you thought were never there
or seen a lark with chicks to feed
darting here and there with seed

I turned to see of what he spoke
then turned to answer this old bloke
I looked again no one was there
just an old, old, old rocking chair
rocking
             rocking
                          rocking

No going out
no rule we can flout
We sit and inquire
before we retire
of rosebuds and gurnies
and fantastic journies
peel back the haze
of memorable days
when travel was grand
and no one was banned
we sat in the park
and we played until dark
then came home to tea
with plates on our knee
no mention of Brexit
no Covid to vex it
we lived in our zones
and played on our phones
maybe some trends
went visiting friends
or sat in the pub
and ate all their grub
for now thats all over
we’re no more in clover
so hurry I say
go Jab away.

It was winter in the farmyard. The pond was full of ice
Douglas Donkey said lets have a dance, now that would be so nice
The others said oh not again, but didn’t disagree
And so a new pursuit began, ice dancing like on TV

Reg the ram said we’ll go in turns to do our finest dance
Maybe one or two good reels we’d practiced in advance
And when we finished doing that we’ll vote to see who’s best
Then the winner gets a prize, whatever they request

The first on up was Dan the dog who really did enthrall
He turned and twisted all around, with summersaults and all
He never made a single fault, to every bodies joy
And when he finished the all cheered. oh what a cleaver boy

Next along came Reg the ram, who’d practiced all his moves
His circles were a masterpiece while digging quite big grooves
First he ran on two left legs, then two legs on the right
And when it came to jump the ramp, he went with all his might

Douglas however was not that good, he couldn’t even stand
They propped him up on trolley wheels they borrowed second hand
He spun around without control, relying on a push
And only stopped eventually by colliding with a bush

Mary mule, she wasn’t bad, a bit more skilled than some
She did a few good summersaults, but landed on her ***
She tried to spin around to end. But couldn’t stop the turn
Until Dan came to her aid and tripped her with a churn

Gerald goose came on the ice and showing off he cried
This is what I do the best, the water is my pride
Water yes but not the ice, he couldn’t even start
And slid from one end to the next and smashed into the cart

Harry Horse said It’s my turn, and winning is my goal
I used to do something like this when I was just a foal
However it was not to be, the ice was getting thin
And Harrys weight proved just too much, ice cracked and he went in

So it finished, all was done, no more would have a chance
Everybody voted, Dan the dog had won the dance
They gave the prize, a great big bone which made him jump and bound
He ran across to softer earth and buried it in the ground

Where things are free we pay the price
they somehow hide the cost
While vultures pick the bones of those
Who failed and then were lost
Time never starts just where it should
And ends so far away
We run on webs and make belief's
And life gets in the way

Like eyes that follow here and there
In portraits you have found
Reality can be a passing dream
That pins you to the ground
Like footprints on a sandy beach
That’s washed clean with tidal wave
A life that’s cleaned each day on day
old pasts we cannot save

Just like a cavern in the cliff
Lifes mystery is stark
With maybe just a ***** of light
To follow in the dark
we re-emerge as someone else
but still we are the same
then bungle through our daily life
conform to times long game

Forever is as forever was
no-one sees ahead
we walk one step before the next
until the final tread
And when forever’s over
We spoke out last remark
Then follow me to where I go
And pray we made our mark

I seen the doctor yesterday
And he said “goodness me”
“I hope that you don't make new plans
Especially after three
With a little bit of this and a little bit of that
And a lot of something more
You better get off home right now
If you make it to the door

I ran back home to tell the wife
And she said “goodness me
It seems a waist of precious time
To make you any tea
With a little bit of this
And a little bit of that
And quite a lot of something more
You better go off too your bed
Its almost half past four

I woke this morning to a call
The doctor said “goodness me”
The wrong card got in my hand
What I told you wouldn't be
You don't have this
And you don't have that
And definitely not something more
What I said belonged to someone
Who died three years or four

I went down stairs to tell the wife
And she said “goodness me”
Just when I talked to the men
Who insured you generously
Are you sure you don't have this
Are you sure you don't have that
Maybe a little of something more
Your very selfish there my dear
And really such a bore

No going out
no rule we can flout
We sit and inquire
before we retire
of rosebuds and gurnies
and fantastic journies
peel back the haze
of memorable days
when travel was grand
and no one was banned
we sat in the park
and we played until dark
then came home to tea
with plates on our knee
no mention of Brexit
no Covid to vex it
we lived in our zones
and played on our phones
maybe some trends
went visiting friends
or sat in the pub
and ate all their grub
for now thats all over
we’re no more in clover
so hurry I say
go Jab away.

No going out
no rule we can flout
We sit and inquire
before we retire
of rosebuds and gurnies
and fantastic journies
peel back the haze
of memorable days
when travel was grand
and no one was banned
we sat in the park
and we played until dark
then came home to tea
with plates on our knee
no mention of Brexit
no Covid to vex it
we lived in our zones
and played on our phones
maybe some trends
went visiting friends
or sat in the pub
and ate all their grub
for now that's all over
we’re no more in clover
so hurry I say
go Jab away.

There’s a cloud, that I can spy
Its making pictures in the sky
It’s a face that’s smiling down
Then it changes to a frown

  A hat with feather sticking up
And that one there looks like a pup
A train with smoke just streaming out
And a big foot, its looks like gout

  Here’s another, its a tree
And another its, a bee
Then I see a waterfall
Again there is a mountain tall

  I witness ships in crooked line
There’s someones hand with a V sign
A candle flickers, then a sheep
A whale that’s swimming in the deep

  The only thing that worries though
With all these many clouds that blow
With all these pictures I can see
Why doe;s it have to rain on me