Darkness is the way people move.
I walk out at night and see shadows lurking around me.
I lurk around myself, watching the people
pass by, never noticing me.
I walk silently,
not wanting to be accused, noticed, seeable.
I move the way people move, blending in.
I’m alone.
I don’t want to be alone.
Every darkness has a light and my light has been found.
I walk past everyone now,
wanting to be noticeable.
My light shines brightly,
with friendship as my oil.
I smile every time I see them
and I never want to stop.
It make’s me happy.
And I hope…
I hope it makes them happy too.

Rainy days are most calm.
I hear the pitter patter or sometimes the thuds. When I write this
I look out the window and stare. When I do
I think of people I just met and wonder
what they’re doing. Are they in school?
Are they sick?
Are they happy?
I wonder these questions about people. I wonder things like what’s my family doing? How are my friends?
All these questions can be answered, but are never asked.
If I’m driving through town, I look at people who pass by and think
‘I can see you, but I don’t know you. I don’t know what you’re doing,
what you’re going to do, or what you’re thinking
All I can do is sit and watch you pass by.’
These are what I think on rainy days.
And now I wonder…
What do you think?
On rainy days?

I stare out the window
It’s raining outside,
not too hard,
not too soft.
It’s as if we were going to school at midnight.
Shoes squeak past me as I sit.
It’s quiet, but I decided not to speak.
I hear the mumbling of people.
Some talk, some don’t.
I’m sitting here wondering,
What is it like?

I stare out at the drowsy day
the raindrops pounding the rooftop above me.
The water falling off the rain gutter,
filling it up and overflowing

I sigh, my breath visible in the air.
I wrap the blanket even tighter around me
feeling the cold air pass through the thin blanket.

I watch my neighbor bring a basket across the street
struggling to carry a basket and an umbrella.
She knocked on the neighbor's house across the street
I remembered they just had a baby and was a few weeks old.

I looked back at the door and shivered.
My lungs locked up and I started to cough violently.
My eyes widen at the sight of the red liquid.

I realized that I didn't have much time left
I lowered my hand so that it was resting on my lap.
I gently smiled and looked back outside and saw the rain stopped.
'I guess......it's time.'

I stare at the sky wondering when the time will come
when we come, when we go
I close my eyes, drowsiness taking over and slowly went to sleep
I wake up to sun in my face and a girl sitting next to me looking up into the trees
I slowly got up and the girl looked at me.
“Oh! Good, your up. I thought you died.”, She said looking back up at the trees smiling.

“Do.....do I know you?”, I answer uncertainly.

A force of weight slammed into my backside, falling beside me laughing.
A child no older than 7 with ***** blonde hair stared at me with wide blue eyes.

“H-Heidi, is this really....”, the boy moved closer, almost touching my arm.

The girl named, Heidi, nodded and with that nod the boy fell into my lap
rubbing his face into my shirt, almost sobbing

“Ah! I-uh.....um...”
I softened my look of surprise and shifted the boy's weight so that he was sitting on my lap
I slowly took the embrace and ,uncomfortably, hugged him.
The girl, Heidi, suddenly started to break out in tears
I slowly shifted toward her, with the boy on my lap.

“Hey.”
She stares at the ground, tears streaming down slowly her cheeks.
“Um...Hi.”
I took a deep breath and slowly put my arm around her shoulders
I took my other arm and grasped the boy's arm
and pulled both of them into a hug.
The girl stiffened, but loosened up and slowly embraced the hug.
The boy looked up at me and tugged at my shirt.
“Uh...um..your probably wondering who I am and who she is right?”
I nod and the boy looks at the girl.
“Can I?”
The girl moves in front of me and smiles.
“As you know I'm Heidi. I had one daughter.”
I froze. What made her so familiar?
I look down at the boy.
My eyes grew wide as the words escaped from his lips.

“I'm Donevon.”

He gave me a weak smile.

“Hi Onee-chan.”

I tried to smile
but it was a false one.
A smile that would fool everybody else.
My real smile was unique to me
when I actually need it the most.
My joy falling through and through.
Cowering in a corner, standing
over me.
Joy is commanding me,
instructing me.
Everywhere.