One flick of the match
And you lit up
To destroy the evenness
Of her functioning

Burning on one end
Glowing ember
Self destructing yourself
As well as her minutes

She quickly exhales
You slither through
The veins and her lungs
Clasping her blood
Her eyes being the reflector of the sins

Everyday those twenty bucks
Distributed in innumerable spaces
For preparation of Her funeral
For the ashes in the vase.

Millions of men with matchsticks
Brought their heads to
The oceans of kerosene
******* forged their existence
And they weren't able to retaliate
Thousand whispers of desire
Of living a peaceful life
Echoed among the mountains
And between the valley of death
Days were enumerated and artifacts collected
The stories seemed to be a passage full of euphemisms
A dystopian atmosphere took over their utopian views
The matchstick was struck
And humanity collapsed.

I live the life of a metaphor
Leaking out of stolen pens
I've been carved on pieces of wood
And people still interpret me differently
I choose to remain indestructible
My worth fluctuates with the readers taste
I make a difference in some places
I might just go unnoticed
Like a wilted rose and it's bleeding petals
Lying behind the window pane
I represent the spectrum
In the gray tinted universe
I'm forced into the anecdotes
In places I don't want to be
Creating a dark impression
Like a mirror in front of the wall
Mocking at its own reflection.

Her existence is a paradox
For even the buffoons seem to be mocking at her
Her power lies divided
Fixed on a candelabra
With men in the churches gazing at the strength
And old ladies lighting it for solace
The wax melts and the world is plunged into darkness
Tendrils of smoke drifting upwards
Shapeless silhouettes driving people towards the end
The dome of the hall covered with embodiments of its remains
The chandelier soaking the suffocation amidst
And still in the hands of that artist in the corner
With a palette in the right and swollen fingers holding the brush
Lies a hope of resurrection of the dainty lady's grace
But only In the painting and the caricatures.

I've been having hallucinations
They're like a requiem for those tales
They were left untold
Now I yearn for their demise
I want them to be shouted
Across those three buildings I spent most of my life in
Those enclosed confined cremated layers
Tangled and shattered
I want it to be told
And removed From the memory of those worthless souls
The exposure of the darkness
Blackening as time collapses
I want my weary spirit to thaw out my aching limbs
And each tale to disappear in the haze

Those platonic verses
Shifted in between
an immovable power
Of the violin strings
Creating a dulcet noise
A paradox
Because when words
and music collide
There came a new
Force into existence
Which began to mould
every soul
From the beginning
Like a child's clay dough.

Beginning to remember
How it had just started
Now it's gone
I was gone for two weeks
And the river is now frozen
It was an inchoate group
Laying the bricks
One by one
But they departed so soon
Like the ignoramus men on the sidewalks
Herding like sheep to make a living
Like some old fat lady sitting by her children
With a half filled cup of happiness
Afraid of losing herself
Like those water drops on cold winter mornings
Forcing life to stay torpid
Pragmatism collapsed into my veins and
I heard the cat door slam and immediately looked at the clock
It was dead

With every beckoning move
My power self destructed
I stood among the audience
With no outrageous opinions
I performed as a harlequin
Trying to dulcify my motives
My torn pockets spilling sand
The baptism of fire
They said they were comrades
But at that moment
They enunciated
My defeat
Strenuously.
I'm tired of seeing the wall break
My cigarette stained hands yearn for demise

Those rocks
And mountains
Casted a shadow
And also
Those little
Dwarfs

The trees in winter
Casted a shadow
And also
the birds
While they laugh

Those lakes
And rivers
And other million drops
Casted a shadow on the
Land

Those numbers
And words
Casted a shadow
Those letters
And their meanings
At a stand

She stood
In the middle of a storm
The ocean floor slipped from
Beneath her feet
The waves let out a howl of anguish
She stood there
Imperatively  
Helplessly begging for clemency  
The water touched the rocks
And moved away
Tides were high
Moon was involved in a surreptitious affair
The passerby ignored her
With uttermost ingenuity
He knew
she was the bone of contention
Of the evil
She was an illusion
She spun the web and caught her prey
He knew the tales of the people
Who had
developed an infatuation with her
Together she commemorated the
Death of all those imbecile beings
Every minute
Gravity pulled towards her
A different kind of person
A different soul
Every minute destructed itself
Whatever was left  
was summoned to her with a grin.

You've been wondering that you've got
No tiny false extraction point
A deluded perception of reality
Blood flowing round the corner of the streets

There's a creeping centralisation of power
And a hoarse whisper in your ears
It's time for your magnanimous self
To let the ego drain away

A thousand battles and memoirs
Those anecdotes you never read
They're the fables of your life
Hinging upon a soft limerick

And now when you try to
Juxtapose those thoughts in your mind
The imbecile beings around
Whitewash your victory and demise.

In an enigmatic way
I let you in
The day I put the words
On paper
Vulnerability existed
I could hear my shadows scream
And chasing pavements
My heart sinking like a
Colossal wreck
Staring aimlessly
Wandering uncounsciously
The duality betrothed  
With the emptiness
I'm still anticipating
For a transformation
Of this emotional trauma
It seems as if those
People are just drifting apart
Leaving me behind
In this frivolous state
I still don't know the intention
Of this unwilling soul

Is it just wanting to descend into a state of chaos?

The acid
Slipped in between
Those innumerable thoughts
And collided with
The astringent taste
Of those bitter sweet words
Trying to find a way out
With modesty
The insipid semblance
On its way
To destroy the
Sanctity of the place
From both ways
It's just the pretence
Which is allowing
The situation to be
Handled fluidly
We're both equally intoxicated.

I open the door

And walk In 

And sit

And forget

To write,

I look outside the windows

My thoughts collide

And a battle ensues 

I look at my broken typewriter 

And my broken mind 

And those broken thoughts

I’m just thinking.

Did I write what I had to? Or was it just another round of procrastination.

12:39 a.m
At first I was trying
To make it rhyme
With no reason
Pushing them together
Those words
Those meanings
Drifting apart
One by one
I made everything
Sound spurious
Pretentious
Fabricated.

12:41 a.m
Two minutes later
I realized
There's no complication
It's me
Who's the stonewall
Preventing those
Words
From making sense
Creating a rumpus
An unnecessary altercation
Casting cement for my own bridges.
It was illegitimate.

2:41 a.m
Two hours later
I understood the power of words
I proposed an adamantine will
Purported to it  
Maybe
But things were now clear
I wasn't lying to myself
I sounded reasonably correct
In my mind
Unconsciously pondering
Consciously oblivious.

1st January,2017
Now, it has been years
It was me who acted like a can of worms  
All these years
Now it goes with the flow
It's difficult to tread the boards
Now my words
Are prepotent
Adequate
I stopped rhyming
Now the arrow hit the spot.

It was my
favourite puzzle
And the best time of
The day
More of pretence
Or actual happiness
Was something
Which couldn't be figured
Lying to self
Caused harm
Truth was even bitter
I was trying to
Stay awake
And arrange those
Pieces
I felt a strong
Disinclination
And wanted to
Battle it out
I looked at the illustrations
And stood flabbergasted
Nothing made sense
I had to be
cognisant of
Those boundaries
And keep my self
Wrapped up
There was a piece
Lying by my side
Which wasn't a part of
The puzzle
It was just
An infatuation.

It'd spin round
Full of upside downs
Full of different numbers
She played roulette

But it isn't that easy, always.

She’s looking up,
At the constellations,
And trying to make sense,
And trying to discern something .

Those stars,
They’re looking down upon her,
Thinking how easy it is to fool her,
How easy it is to help someone in being preoccupied all night,
How all the random thoughts take perfect place in the witching hour,
How overthinking makes her brain dysfunctional but she has to live with it,
Everyday,
Inadvertently,
she forgets the kind of place this is.
Here,
The ones who try, suffer
The ones who don’t, suffer.
This place favours nobody
Every second, it is eating you up.

No words could be spoken
Wrapped around in a beret
Nothing could be sensed
Cats lay torpid
He jingled the coins in his pocket
There's not much he had
There was nothing he spoke
A cold wall of dissociative amnesia
A blustery day
Driving all those fears
Into the wild
Covering all those scars
With ice cakes.

The regrets and
Decisions seem to
Be coming my way
They're mocking at me
For being ignorant
Those times
When I couldn't prioritise
Anything
This time when I wouldn't
Let anything go
This time when I
Want things to be fair
That last time
When I did nothing
All I could do
Was stand and stare
That last minute conversation
With the fever raging high
Those few words spoken
Those unbearable cries
There's a time when
I don't know
What I'm gonna do
I want to dwell in the past
There are no decisions I've taken
My reasoning capability
Soared down
And I cannot
Accept the reality
I can't stand things right now
I can't believe it's happening
It's coming to an end
There are no decisions I've taken
It's coming to an end
It's over.

There's a
Path I found
Yesterday
where I continually
Seek pleasure
In getting entangled
Within the
Rigmarole of lies
The maze creates a
Scar deeper than
That soul buried
Deep beneath the ground.
Stronger than the
Hallucinations of that
Schizophrenic lady
In rehab.
More profound than
Those million books kept in
The library.
I try to get back
But I'm stuck.
Inadvertently.

There's no keynote
Or some particular issue
In my mind
It's just the void
Trying to fit in
There is no predicament
Its just these words
Trying to find space
Provocatively engaging my mind
To work on something
That ought to be done
Like it's some imperative assignment
Just these consonants
Camouflaging and slaughtering
That empty space
These characters from one
To twenty six
Continually withering
In search of a place
With Some connotation.

Two white strings
Entangled and Astray
Finding a way
In The rose pink light of dawn.  

In the pink light of dawn
The cicadas venturing
Into a new place
For a new journey

For a new journey
A hundred birds migrate
Away from the clamour
Where the sun rays lighten the soul

Where the sun rays lighten the soul
The shadows prove to be farce
As night time descends
The world comes to an end.

Day after day
I kept on
Stacking those phrases
And I created a different
Glossary In my mind
Of unwarranted thoughts
Floating in some other place
Seeking attention
Being ignored
Wailing for approval
Rejected innumerably
Creating a hassle in my mind
A fracas among those letters
Causing dementia
But it's me myself
The bone of contention
Of these unattended
Lies.

Behind a vague line
I saw the silhouettes of the ancient times
And those puppeteers mocked at the people
For every second went away

In those twenty two minutes
I cried my heart out
Because the rain wouldn't stop and those dreams wouldn't die
But my body worked fine and my defence was stout

But it's more like an erosion
Taking away everything from behind
Leaving in those pitiless hearts
A morose anger and a sadistic charm

The souls got lost
Every ligament detached
The feelings sloshed and fought through the acid
All the attempts proved to be a fiction

It was the last morning
And the last night of the life
It was the last time
She spoke
They spoke
And then
The artists painted with a devilish grin on their faces
Those stories
Those lies
That darkness

It was the 
Bewitching hour

And my shadow was

Not more than adumbrated 

By the meager light light

In no time

I would reach an interstellar place 

The ocean of emptiness 

And would destroy myself.

Each atom would disintegrate

As it fell on the cosmic rays 

Unvarying 

But the umbrage of the banyan tree 

Caught me 

Captured my soul 

For it was as sacred 

As the Greek mythology 

And the sins
I had committed 

Were forgiven.

Thankfully.

There's no sleep for the tired eyes
And the 5 lost souls
Have been bribed
To stay awake
And wait for the apocalypse
In hues of broken dreams
Strenuously.

The second chapter began

And no story 

Was told

But some secrets 

Began to unfold 

Some mysteries 

Consumed in the darkness

Found their place

The urge was 

To deal with things

In a pragmatic way 

To mould the fable 

With pertinency 

Refrain from portraying

Crass assumptions 

Impersonate the characters 

With the queerest disposition 

So that by the time 

You drown into that tale 

There’s nobody left alive to 

Impute their arguments 

There’s no need to appeal for clemency.

You'd find me
By the riverside
Moving along with the moon
Staring at those
Celestial bodies
Which seem to
Deport me to
An unknown place
Where I belong
Where I should be
The Orion looking down upon me
While I travel
Back in time
And confabulate
With pagan
Question the existence of
Humans
And denounce the
World as a farce
Create a different place
With only those
Animals sacred to Apollo
Those swans and ravens
And Cicadas
And remain.

Every minute 

I move forward
and backward 

Feel elated and dejected 

At the same time

From both ends of the world

I retrograde 

Explicitly consign into oblivion

Those marred thoughts 

I introspect 

And question 

My beliefs and it’s pros and cons 

Then backward 

I run counter to 

Those thoughts 

I agree to it 

And purport to be satiated 

There’s a lapse of time 

And I’m forgotten 

Or maybe I forget 

I run 
Here and there 

Incorrigibly perfect 

Like those fake palindromes 

Among those assertive 

Words.

I would
Rather 
Go unnoticed 
Behind
Those 
Five thousand 

Pine trees 

Looking for 
A little corner 

To understand 
My dreams
and resurrect

My soul 

In search of the right 
Words but

My mind 

Wants the fulfilment 

Of a million 

Vague unattended thoughts 

And doesn’t stop

Wandering 

From one dimension 

To another.

They told me about 

All the impractical things

Which would never possibly happen

But 
Never did I receive a warning 

Regarding the monsters under my bed

My blanket fails to protect me from them now

Is it because I grew up?

Six minutes past Twelve
It was the fourth time

She opened her window 

And waited for 

The Bulgars to enter her place

She had this queer desire 

Of being annihilated 

And those rustic apparels

Were of no use 

The world had gone ahead

She lost pace 

She couldn’t possibly
cover up 
In those two minutes 

Of disgrace.

She drowned in her past 

Because the hope of 
keeping up to the present
killed her

And the promises 
which were about to 

Be proven false

Would make people hate her

And her expectations 

Which she considered a dream 

Appeared to be a major threat
For her existence 

Those changes falsified her world. 

She smoked a joint 

Looked behind 

Consumed herself in the 
Hypocrisy of today 

And passed away.

I  Wasn't even
Alive when
You started placing before
Me
Those conundrums
Which captivated
My real self
And forced me
To blame storm a different
Set of people
Because
I did not know
The meanings
And I did not get the
Opportunities
All I had
Were a set of
Quixotic claims
And false beliefs
And I was beginning
To fall in
The shadow
Of hypocrites.

I wouldn’t mind

Going through 

Those bits and pieces
Scattered like stardust 

In my mind 

Moving collectively 

With a desire 

To capture 

All the other 

Unearthly things 

And bring them in 

Like the tide 

On the ebb

Enrapturing my soul

And swallowing the 
Darkness 

Into the shadows 

But under the 
Crepuscular light

All that happens 

Is decided by your deeds

And not your dreams.

Bipolar
There’s this label 

Which moves everywhere
with her 
Now and then 

Distracting people

And 
Making her life miserable

Because they think

It’s something different 

She’s something different 

There has been a breakdown
She’s mentally sick 

But do you listen to her soul 

Asking people

If they’re not different 

From one another 

Or are they not

Allowed to express themselves  

Everybody is different 

And they prove their existence

In their own ways

She has to behave

As if she has something 

On her conscience 

Something lurks every second 

In the corner of her mind 

With a sublime confidence 

Of acceptance 
But
Anhedonia comes alive with the words coming

Out one by one or rather 

All at once 

Incomprehensibly prefect 

But this label 

Those pills

That prescription 

Only swallows her

From within.

Last night 

She accidentally

Walked to her balcony 

And looked outside 

She saw her soul 

Wandering 

Being sabotaged 

By demonic creatures 

Molested by those unholy beings 

But all she could do was 

Stand and stare 

Scrutinise and regret 

Because then she realised

She let it go

7 years ago

When she 

Questioned her existence 

And acted in an immoral way.

There’s so much more 
I could do.

If I could 

Scatter the seconds 

Like the grains of sand.

If the minutes would pass 

Like a ray of light

Passing through a prism

Breaking into 

Those seven colours

Lighting every corner. 

If I could 

Multiply the hours 

With the innumerable 

Thoughts in my mind .

And calculate

To find

I still haven’t got enough

I still need time

This was supposed to be surreptitious 

But my mind couldn’t take it any longer
Those words had lost their way 

Those letters were now under the shadow of the dark
I was left at a place 

Where I thought denouement begets the beginning
But now the sets were dismantled and the stage was empty

And my love for writing could now be considered an infatuation
My soul lingered in the wilderness 

In search of sempiternal happiness
Those papers bleeding ink

Were now drowning in the oceans
Because the weight of living 

Was killing me from within
And those little pieces I had written 

Were the only things I ever had.

Broken prisms
and 
Hallucinations

Thursday has been postponed 

Even they’re tired of this monotonous sound 

The world needs 

Time.

Her mother told her 

She was as beautiful as the winter snow

But 
All this while 

She knew

It wouldn’t snow in winter

It doesn’t snow in that part of the world

But her love

Let her remain 

Consciously oblivious 

She didn’t want her mother 
To feel

Insecure because of blindness.

Falsehood
.
Crime
.
Deaths.

Run.
Fight.

Mockery in the streets
.
Visions.
Maybe, death.

Running away, 

With each atom disintegrating.

Every millisecond.

Chasing away, 

With a fierce rage Of defeating while chasing

Without blood shedding

Mere intelligence 

Shrewd skills

Wit.

Without loss.

I Wished
My thoughts
Lived up with
My words
And my creativity
Ably Portrayed
Itself on
The canvas
And the conversations
Made sense
To those people
Drifting away
But
Nobody knows
what they are
looking for
And right
nothing
makes sense to me
For I don’t know
Which path may lead
To the place I want
To go
Bur most importantly
I dont know
What I want
To see.
what
I want to be.

And the conversation was just a call away

But who’d explain
what she said 

Who knew how things work 

Nobody has got the answers 

Nobody knows 

They just pretend.

Movement of impatience. 

Erroneous steps. 

Irrelevant arguments. 

False accusations. 

Sadistic approaches. 

Self centred minds. 

Disgust.
Nobody lives
They just exist.

The fairy tales
And the horrendous stories
The fear in your soul
Also the philanthropists' empathy
Nothing works here
Nothing remains.

Strings of conversations
Awestruck
By the way you hypnotise
The world
By your
Innumerable lies
Nobody speaks the truth
The world is a farce

I
Wished
My thoughts
Lived up with
My words
And my creativity
Ably Portrayed  
Itself in
The canvas
And the conversations
Made sense
To those people
Drifting away
But
Nobody knows
what they're
looking for
And nothing makes sense
To me
Now
And then.
And maybe
Forever.

How could I understand 

What you were trying to say.

Your words were like,

The Autumn leaves.

Drifting apart.

Unfathomable.

My words which were
Flowing away,

Miles after miles.

Made,

Poetry