At night
I lie under the darkest cloud
I lie in a storm
I lie in brightness
I lie alone.

At night
I miss
I miss the loud
I miss the quiet
I miss chaos
But,
I don't miss.

arms entwined
around each other
I see them
but I don't see me.

silent whispers
and unspoken looks
I see them
but I don't see me

noise and chaos
is what I have
and what I want
similar in their definitions
however,
in a parallel universe.

But then
I see him and him and him and him
I see them all
and I see me
I see darkness
and I see hunger
and I see no spark

I see both
seeping the drastic differences
absorbing the realities
dreaming the dreams.

I see me, and I see them
both thems are different
but I'm not.

When I want to be them
I see the other them
and I see me
and then I realize
that the them could be either.
but the me,
is me.

With shoulders stretched wide
encompassing a troop,
a group, a herd.
With a voice loud enough
To hide the whispers,
The echoes, the pleas.
I embraced, enveloped
Everyone within reach
Fought battles with my own arms
No allies, no shadows
Just foes and rivals and enemies.
The sunshine faded
And gave way to twilight
With twilight came misery
And thoughts crept into my mind
The what ifs and when wills shook the walls
Of the container, the flask,
The ****** empty room.
They shook and shook and shook
Till it broke
Till everything broke loose
Havoc. Chaos. Turmoil.
I thrashed and thrashed and thrashed.
I wept my tears dry
Crouched underneath,
Like a hurt kitten, a terrified rabbit.
Till I came apart.
With every whisper, and every plea.
The soul mended itself.
The broken mirror, got back together
Glued. Frayed. Cracked.
Yet together.

A broken woman,
a young lad
were doomed from the start
to be together
with adolescent creeping up
like an unwanted shadow
dark and frightening
was all she could feel
new love bloom
was all he could feel.

She wound an intricate web
around his beating heart
unconscious, unintentional
potent.
senses returning, she wept her tears dry
and climbed into a journey of lost souls
away from him,
away from his every wandering heart
away from the dirt her soul splashed at her sanity
her rationality.

He searched
high and low
into himself
and grew apart each day
from within himself
the pain lingered
his love ran deeper then the heart
deeper into his soul
deeper beyond reconcile.

A broken life
a holy sin
a caught fox
are all cliches
parallel into themselves
his love exceeding them all
her love being an exception
which proved it all.

Time passes, and never stopes
like sand disappearing from interwined hands
into masses of itself
forgotten, and never to be found again.

You ran
I ran
Faster than light,
Invisible to the keenest human eye
We ran towards the safest haven.
Almost giddy with excitement
Heart fluttering on the
Delicate wings of ecstatic butterflies
Forsaking everything behind
Just you and me

We zoomed by,
Humans and objects,
All just a mélange of colors
Hallways went by
In the blink of an eye
Not yours or mine
Just the shrewdest eye
Voices called out to us
Allies raring to join
Teachers frantic to stop
Corridors vast enough to dissolve into

Stop, came after a long, lingering voyage
Breathing in short abundant pants
We beheld the eye of each other
And in that moment
I realized we were more than partners in crime
We were, you and me
Two friends destined to be
In each other’s memory
Forever
And
Ever
And ever.

A dress floats in never land
Wisps of smokes seen from the fire ahead
Raging gloriously.
Bodies merge
In a rhythmic pattern.
A lion poses ferociously
A tiger follows his suit
Bursts of colors
Vibrantly lit,
Flashing magnificently
And then, darkness.
Blinding darkness.
Eerie silence.

Suddenly, a loud roar
Reaches the crowd
Sequins shine through, like diamonds
Lantern lights up in hues of orange and red
An elephant saunters by
And a scream revives the place
Followed by a deafening crowd
Twirls by dazzling women
Walking on air,
Jumps all around.
World
A beautiful, beautiful place.

I see you
I see others
I see everyone
And, I see you again
Time after time,
I ponder
What lures you apart?
Is there something?
Is there anything?
But time after time
I conclude
That cloning has surely begun.
I deduce
That no man is diverse
No woman either
No children, no parents.
We’re all similar
We’re all striving to be identical
Indifferent to the essentials of our soul
Indifferent to the necessities of our individuality
We endeavor to be parallel, analogous
To be the flock
To be the herd
To be the pack

Red drops.
Tiny. Brutal. Morbid.
Dripping
Slowly
Steadily.
My nails claw on your chest.
Long gashes
Red drops.
Trickling
In the midst of this sadistic frenzy
I smile.
At your painful moans
At your begging pleas
At your dying whispers.
Every emotion sensitized
And every sound heightened
Till it was saved in my membrane
In my mind forever.
'Cuz no pain of yours
was bigger than mine.
The drops, once had been gushing from my body
the pleading moans,
had once been my beg for refuge.
And your manic laugh,
as an answer to my begs, is still etched on my mind.
Your sadistic hands clawing at my body
drawing blood
drawing pain
drawing sanity
still there in my mind.
Thriving,
on this pain that I bring you.
No second chances,
since I didn't even get my first.
No mercy, since I died too.

I sit down,
Painting faces
Painting farces
Playing pretend.
Filling up the void
With blue sunlight
And green moonlight
I stand up
Yet again, fantasizing
Visualizing, romanticizing
Inch by inch
I depart this world
Bidding farewell to all
Resurrecting in a new dawn
In new hope
In new life
Where all tunes are sung
According to my accord
Where all light shines bright
With my bulb
Things fall into place
But alas, never stay put
They fall out again
And I find myself
Naked.
I find myself
Plunged into the darkest of nights
Crawling my way to another dawn
Another life
Another fantasy.