I have
again and again
some have dropped it
others have taken off
small pieces
and I forgot to ask
for them back
maybe they needed the pieces
more than I did

But then you were there
and when my chest
cracked wide open to
let you in
my heart was not
dropped for the first time
in years

Thank you

You will hold him
cupped in your palms
but this is not beautiful
it is dying
and you can't tell
whose heart is stuttering
but your chests are both heaving
and when he goes still
like the key being yanked
from a wind-up toy
and the light leaves his eyes
you can't help but feel
responsible
for snuffing it out

Let me take you
into my arms
paint your body into
immortality
I will let you
burn your fingertips
into my heart
and you'll never be forgotten

My arms
they are like
train tracks
but the trains have
stopped running
and the path I follow
only leads me further down
and I am so tired

I do not stitch
hands shake too much
for that
but I will carve
the words
into the tender flesh
of my *******
boy
boy
BOY

Being myself
my TRUE self

May as well just
push me
down the stairs
and end my suffering