Your self proclamation at being the beast

makes me laugh

I've never known a larger chicken


You act as though you don't love me

yet in the quiet of your black soul you know you do

I'm your twin flame you once said


You are running away

yet still looking back, pleading for more

Just one more time and you'll stop


Building walls around your heart

they are made of clay

Let it rain


You fell in love with me

and now we have to pay

empty hollows in two hearts

What I love about you

Your resilience throughout any kind of weather
makes you the strongest person I know.

The way that your smile infects the crowd
as your carefree spirit constantly gives.

People of all ages flock to your energy
like moth's to a flame.  I sit back
and sometimes watch the way you move.

There's some kind of magic in you
something that all of us crave
maybe the smile, the grace of spirit,
the tears you shed with us or for us

You bring out the best in me
I will love and treasure you always
you are my Earth Angel.
Born from the heavens and gifted
to all those who get a chance to love you.

I was reminded of all these moments
last night
watching you in the crowd
it's like you have a light that shines
I will treasure you always my friend,
your magic is my magic.

We met through innuendos
simple chatter
shared our secrets
our hope and dreams
nothing else mattered

The dark day of truth
was typed across the screen
"I'm married,  you can let me go"
an uneasy feeling in my stomach occurred
while my heart began to scream

Walking away easily
passed months ago
you looked for an internet distraction
from the unfulfilled life you had
yet you fell with me, feelings began to grow

You want to leave me
hating to love me
loving to hate me
needing and wanting
craving to feel me

Now bittersweet
the friendship is lost
between moments stolen
and the hot passion that flowed across the screen
our souls forsaken, the hidden cost

You wouldn't take me home
You wouldn't date me
You just simply want to cyber **** me

No sense in being second best
not just to the wife
you love so much but can't touch
but I drawn the line
at being second best to your dog in this life

Was there ever any one true moment?
(like you'd tell me now)

Was it me on your mind when?
(you know when you said I'd have to earn it)

Did you skip school the day they talked about truth?
(oh, you were ******* your teacher)

Sometimes I just wonder, when I'll quit wondering about "us"
*(never, comes to mind)

"If you loved me"

How could I love you anymore then I did?

Knowing you existed in this world alone
set my skin on fire
every word you spoke was a holy grail
your breath was mine in a singular life force

"you should have given me a chance to explain"*

No need to explain what was right before my eyes
you see...
they betrayed you not me
your words stung like bathing in a bee's nest
(you even used the word love)

"You see, I do love you"

Can you tell me where it has gotten me?

Saying "I love you"
use to mean something
Not today

We all watched you, letting go of life

It was like life was a chain link fence
and we watched as you spent
your days trying to chew your way through

It always seemed so suffice
you'd smile that smile while embracing the demon
because you still saw hope on the other side

This day was different
so much was lost
the struggle to hard

In silence for five hours
you struggled with the thoughts, pacing back and forth
fighting the voices inside your head
I can see the sweat pouring from your eyes

Today there was no answer, no hope
no fixing the pain inflicted...the sorrow caused
so today, gun in hand...you blew yourself
straight through to the other side

Looking back now seeing you gnaw
at the chain links...I wonder if I could have done more
maybe held you just a minute longer
or listened better with embracing ears

With a tear in my eye, memories intact in my heart
my good byes fall upon your rock hard shell
the chain link fence a symbol of your inner hell

I looked into the eyes of your children
searching for a glimpse of you
but you took that glimmer of joy from them
the minute the gun shot blew

A single Calla Lily is what I dropped on your grave today
a single meaningless gesture on your stone cold grave

Every morning I roll over...grab my phone
I can't wait to see if you have messaged me
then your words invade me, swallowing me whole

"You'll never hear from me again"

The phone is placed at my breast
where my heart beats...hands holding on tight
as I remember the you that I first met, then

"You'll never hear from me again"

At least for today, I will hold you in love and light
as I always have...at least for today
I'll be whispering you to me, wishing you were here until I hear

"You'll never hear from me again"

The morning fades and thoughts of what was
the feelings of what is,  engulf my soul with the touch that is as
soft as a birds feather sweet to the senses...painful remembrance

"You will hear from me again"

When your life gives you moments of silence
When you allow yourself to remember the freedom to be
When you miss the me in you
When your done swearing at the moon

"I'll be here, waiting to hear from you..."

(No Mail)

still

Moments wrapped in lace
your words made love to my ears
awakening my skin

Laughter may have led to some tears
yet we went forward
opening my heart

Loving you came before you let me know
that loving you wasn't possible
secret keeper

Regrets are for fools
forever,  lives in the smiles and joy we had
treasured time

Dawn of the new day
you start it all over again
another lover, more laughter, more play

I will love you forever
I will never forget
until I thank-you when lying in the arms
of my lover

"If this is the way you want it to end"

Words that ring through my ears
so untrue, yet a part of what I hear
everyday.

Let me for a moment explain...

Loving you had no beginning or sense of end
no fake colorful flowers in an imaginary garden
just each day a new start...a new joy

Each season represents what I feel about our love

Spring holding hope for the new, that lives inside us
the unyielding adventure being born with each little
bud exploding from the earth.

Summer was a time of splendor while the lazy
days of our afternoons allowed us to love
oh, and make love.

Fall brought our Summer closer
like a hug from Nature a reminder of what is
and what isn't...a time of reflection and peace.

Winter cold held our hearts at the hearth at the cabin
where silk sheets soothed lovers skin
and overstuffed duvets warmed us in the cold
the fire flickering our reflections off the others face.

So to say, *"If this is the way you want it to end"
is insane of you to think.

Can anyone stop the seasons from changing?

Then how could I ever change the seasons of my heart?

In that moment when it's just you and your little girl
and you inwardly smile at her and the sweet innocence
when you feel like you drown in her eyes and beauty
the moment when she turns and connects with your eyes
and for that second time stands still

There's nothing you wouldn't do to protect her
There's no way you would allow anyone to hurt her
and yet
how many daughters have you stripped innocence from?
how many have you built up the dream only to **** it away?

Remember that...the next time you look into your daughters face
Will she meet a man just like you someday?

Let's only hope better for her