Hold me
please
I need you
and want you
So why can't you
see that?
My need,
out on a golden platter;
my heart on my sleeve
for the world to take
I'm desperate
but afraid of being
taken advantage of
again.

I'm desperate to feel,
love
But it's hard to do
when the people you reach out to
push you away
So I reach out to love's epitome,
searching for pain,
the easiest to find
in this cruel world
So, as I tremble on the floor,
are you happy?
Have you finally found some sick satisfaction
from my attempts to please you,
all in vain?
Because I'm through.
I am done
serving you
following and clinging to you
like a lost puppy
Your free entertainment
has expired

I know I should be happy,
these tears nonexistant.
But I still suffer from these scars
And I'm not entirely sure I'm happy this way
But I guess
time will tell
Maybe we can try again
some other time.
But I am fragile
So until you,
this brain and body that contains my soul,
Until you realize
that I have been hurt enough
Until you learn
not to treat me like a
pair of socks
(warm and soft but walked all over),
Until I heal
Until we grow mature,
forgive and forget
I don't know
I just don't know
We may meet again,
a forgotten memory
But,
you're on your own.
Go.
Leave me.
Please...

Stay?

Lonely am I
who walks along my own path;
Lonely is the one who
pushes others away,
exiling themselves to their own
misery.
Lonely am I
who writes in her corner;
Lonely is the one who is
unsatisfied in their state of
mind.

Lonely are the ones who are
pushed away,
by both the ones they love
and the ones who love them.
Lonely are the ones who
never utter a single word
of their pain,
lonely are the ones who
express themselves through
written words,
screamed music,
pain...
Lonely are the ones like
me.

I know I have my own
problems,
but you’re not so perfect
yourself.
Yet you still
drag
me
down
into this bottomless pit
that you dug for the purpose of
hiding your insecurities

It’s like you
can’t let anyone see your
true self
And once they sense your
fear,
unsureness,
you strike.

Seeing how your heart is
frozen,
it musn’t be hard for you to
break one’s spirit
And now I can see
how easy it is for you to
drag your friends into your
misery
But you saved your worst for
me.
At least I know you
cared...

Somewhat.

Do you like crushing your
friends?
Do you enjoy seeing people
hurt?
I guess so, because
why else would you
utterly destroy
the only people you were
ever
able to call your
friends?

If I were to jump,
throw my soulless body from this
rooftop
Would you reach after me?
Would you risk your life to
bring me back to you?
What would you do?

If I were to scream,
kick my legs until they went numb,
would you calm me?
Hold me still?
Quiet me and tell me that it’s
going to be alright?
What would you do?

If I were to ask you
if you liked me
Would you say
yes?
What would you do?

If I were to tell you
I love you
What would you do?

You wouldn’t care.
That’s what you would do.

They don’t know that they will all
die
in the end.

I have to write my pieces in
pen,
because when the ink runs
freely
my ideas run freer.

The ideas pop up
randomly.
I’m never able to catch them in time
Especially when I’m in my
“emo” mood.


“You don’t know what it’s like...
welcome to my life.”

Actually, Simple Plan,
I do.
Welcome to MY life.
Its not that
no one know or understands.
They just can’t tell
depression from
wanting attention.
And they’re all idiots for it.

“For a second I wished the tide
would swallow every inch of this city,
as you gasp for air tonight...”

I really do hate this place.
But do i really want everyone to
die?
I want to die.
That doesn’t mean everyone has to
go with me.
Even though someday,
I WILL go out with a
bang.
But not yet.
Oh, how I wish the
Anthem Of Our Dying Day rang
true.

“I know the world’s a broken bone
but melt your headaches, call it home.
Hey moon, please forget to fall down;
hey moon, don’t you go down.
You are at the top of my lungs,
drawn to the ones who never yawn.”

Yes, moon,
please stay up.
I want to dream
forever,
never have to face
reality.
I send my love back to you,
Northern Downpour,
even if I’m missing the point
entirely.
Of course I want to melt my
headaches,
but how am I supposed to call this hell a home?
Home is where the heart is.
My heart broke,
so I threw it away.

“All I ever wanted
was love.”

Me too, Christopher Drew
Me too.

Nobody
would've ever guessed that
I,
Maggie,
the crazy, joyful,
happy
one,
could've ever done what I did.
I, Maggie,
the one that prances around,
not giving a ****.
The one that
takes life by the hand and
pulls it along
after her;
while deep inside, she
scorns it.

As I smile on the outside,
no one can guess the amount of
pain
that my soul is putting up with.
I mask it with
false joy,
unknown to others and
unseeable
except for when I
slash it open on my
wrists,
legs;
My only weak spots.

And nobody would've guessed that
I,
Maggie,
the one who loves,
hated herself enough to try to
end herself.
They never could've,
though.
I gave them no reason to.
So why would I want them to think that I
did?

I blame the hormones.

My
‘Scars of Insanity,’
I called them.
I now think that
‘Scars of Ugliness’
better fits them.
The ugliness I carved into myself,
to remind everyone that I will
never
be good enough.

I will
never
have enough,
enough of anything.
Not enough
motivation,
sanity...
talent.

Never again will I be
confident enough to
believe
in anything;
Except my
faith,
the only stable thing in my life...
at the moment.

Never again will I be
happy,
for my mind will
never
allow it.
I can never go back,
back to when I was
happy;
oblivious,
in my own naivety.

Never
ever
again
will I hear the
laughter
of my
used-to-be clan
of sisters...
all but one have left me;
have abandoned me,
attacked me before giving me a
chance.
But I did nothing wrong.
At least, I think I didn’t.
I don’t know,
they never told me.

And now I’m left in my own
mourning
of the innocence I used to have.
With my innocence left my
naivety,
sanity,
joy.
Just like Everyman in the ancient play,
nothing but one thing remains;
except this time, it’s not my good deeds.
The only thing that clings to me is the
evilness
of my own mind.
It will
ALWAYS
be there, taunting, teasing,
tormenting...

torturing.

Always there to remind me that I will
NEVER
go back again.
I’m trapped,
stuck,
to be miserable the
rest
of
my
life.

But hey,
maybe I’m meant to be miserable.
Everything happens for a reason...
right?