I write her name 
in a borrowed book

whisper to the musty pages
"hello"

from the bottom of my lungs
the tippy top of the heart

a vibration
a pulse

just a whisper,
as soft and sweet
as I can

hello
hello-

a silent yellow page
doesn't rustle

I swear the smell
will haunt me forever

I'll never erase that name
and even if she tears out the page

the wind will have to whisper
or howl
goodbye

We are all but

hanging
from
a
thread

as our lips seal
behind thick black string

flesh made raw by shards
of heavy rope

ensnared by echoes of all
opposing voices
seem to come from
all sides-
but are, rather,
those of the
loudest protesters

out of sheer frustration
that we still find
ways to shine

in our music-
angry, spoken word,
**** RIOT
rant filled

in our art-
graffiti on your capital
desecrating your
male saints

streamed through your
safe airwaves
******* up your
perfect hegemony

livening your
boring missionary
bedrooms

bleeding in your
just-washed white
sheets with my girl
friend and her boyfriend

In our poetry-
CAPITALIZED, misspelled,
profane-****-out of syn
tax
without filter
in red paint
on sidewalks
in newspapers
on bookshelves
in magazines
on flyers on
our lips in our
hearts

screaming
crying
laughing
soaring souring
soar-
ing

I want a get matching tattoos
with someone
even if 10 years from now
****, even if 5 years from now
I regret it

I want to propose one night
in the corner of a dimly lit bar
that smells of ***** and cheap
cologne with a twist tie

to see your glassy
eyes tear over
as you slur it,
yes

I want to dive  2 weeks in
headfirst, head over heels

neither of us mutting the obligitory
"let's take it slooow"

I'm so tired of that
**** I'm ready to fall

even if it means
cracking my skull
no diving

this is the shallow end
and I'm crawling towards
the deep

girl get on your knees
please crawl with me

Namaste
The divine in me
recognizes the
divine
in you

the part of me
that ashes her
handrolled cigarette
all down her top
on accident

who wears someone
else's black rimmed
plastic glasses

they're the wrong perscription
but there's no reason
the world shoudn't
appear a little blurry

hearts are farther away
than they may seem

behind the thin
layer of skin
and tissue

the fragile
birdcage frames
that protect them

If I were a zombie
I'd eat hearts instead
of brains

that way I'd know
what it was to taste love

I've had enough of people's
thoughts and opinions

I wanna taste the ache
for a change

and ingest the chambers
that held all your exs
and family
your friends

the divine in me
eats the divine in you

I fell in love
with you for a minute
on a stranger's couch
funny
whip its
with a derby girl
a shameless makeout
sesh
in front of another
lesbian and a couple
strange bodies
disconnected
poetry
and some ***** in
a plastic cup
stolen metal chairs
in various colors
her braids
her shaved head
a symphony
to my defeat
I'm half-way out the door
but I can't get up off
this couch
she's taking my key
and pretty soon my car is gone
my so-called girlfriend
leaves me tearstained
voicemails
but while you're
here your lips
make me forget
every promise
I made this girl
she said
where you go I go
how quickly we forget
when we find ourselves
in the arms of another
and just like everything
else the promise disappears
an evaporated drop of
rain from the side window
of my re-poed car
I need to get that ink off
I need to get inked
to sober up before A.A.
to eat before this adderall
eats my insides
I want to feel a
lot more full
a lot more *******
full
say goodbye
you never knew me
a $2 bus ride
takes me where
I need to be
freezing hands
and the itchy
scars I sliced
into my arm
in the wrong
place the wrong
direction
I was never right to
begin with
a text message at
2AM "stay safe"
that's the extent
to which I'm cared
for
and that's good
enough for me
just so long as I
can afford smokes
and the key to
my car is safely
under the mat

I would rather be known
as that girl who asks
if you want to hear a poem
than that drunk girl at the club

I'm finding that not everyone
will listen, let alone undertsand
when I expose myself to them

pulling back each rib
one at a time
depending on which
poem I choose

I'll lose blood for nothing
they don't even see the
crimson puddle on the floor

but it's there and sometimes
the people I chose to let it
out for aren't even

listening to the poem
some decline the offer
entirely

I'm going to promise myself
right now
there will never be a time
when I would say no

to a glimpse of someone
else's heart

I already feel too far
away from
humanity

often trapped
in what can seem
an artless world

and so I will never
say no

or look away if you
show me yours

I'll show you mine
and pretty soon

our chests are both
exposed

two tortured hearts
the metranome to
our so-called lives.

Good morning strange
Girl just so

you know you
are not
Accidental

You were
carefully planned
By some maker

Not to sound religious
I don't need your bible

I know I have to
Leave you alone

You said "I am
So depressed"

You're right and
I know I'm no good

But still when we
Looked at the sky

And stumbled on
The sidewalk

And shared
A stolen kiss

Something deep
Down in that
Place only I know

Flipped switches
It's on beautiful

And I would whisper
It in your ear
Every day
If you would let me

Someone so talented and
Deep avoids the crazy I
Have to offer

But I can't help but
Kiss you

and trust me girl
This never happens

But when I
Woke up

I saw your face
In my mind's eye

You make me want
To dive

And I know it
Seems shallow

Come on Babe
Just jump

On the count of 3
Come in with me

Hands clasped
No regrets

Always
I am too open
And I know you can't

But while we're in I will
Do my best

To teach you
How to swim