I haven't felt this way since 5th grade
A school-girl crush
When I see you, I become extremely giddy
I find myself daydreaming about you

I finally worked up the nerve to talk to you
After 2 weeks of staring at you in class
We had 3 classes together
And that fact was my opening line

We talked for 45 minutes that day
I called my best friend as soon as we parted
I had no idea how amazing you were
I squealed because you talked to me for a mere 45 minutes

This semester, we only have one class together
But we talk more than ever
We talked for 2 and a half hours last week
The whole time, you had no idea how much I crave you

I'm almost done with college
And you graduate next semester
How is it that you make me feel this way?
Why and I so in love with you? WHY?

Why do you have a stupid girlfriend??
She shaved her head last month.
Come on man. She's crazy!
You belong with me and I long to tell you so.

But how? How do I tell you such a thing?
That's just it.
I have no idea.
So I don't. And won't.

Do you remember what you told me
When I asked you if you'd catch me
If I fell for you?
I expected you to say you would.

But you said you wouldn't catch me,
That you couldn't catch me.
Because you'd be falling too.
You said we would fall together.

And boy, did we fall.
We plummeted, descended
Deeper and deeper
In love, and lust, and passion.

InstaChem we called it.
Instant chemistry from the moment we met.
Completely enveloped in each other
Convinced there was no one else better suited for the other.

And I'm still convinced of that.
It's been two years since we broke up,
Since I broke up with you,
But I'm still convinced.

You've got a new girl now,
But she's not your real girlfriend.
Just just a filler and we both know that.
Just like the substitutes I've had.

You still sleep over occasionally.
And it's still great.
We escape reality for a night,
Pretending like we're right back in love.

Cannonball by Damien Rice was our song
It's not hard to fall, when you float like a cannonball
But now, Heartbeat by Childish Gambino better suits us
Are we dating? Are we *******? Are we best friends? Are we something in between that?

I've been thinking of you a lot lately.
And I know you've been thinking of me too.
I wish we could go back to how we used to be.
I want to belong to you again, and you to me.

But we fell apart and I broke your heart.
I know you'll never fully be able to forgive me.
And I know we will never be whole again,
But I know we will be together in the end.

I sacrificed a lot for you
Missed you too much
Cried because I missed you
You never appreciated me like you should have

But you made everything look so good and so promising
I was so confident about our situation
You seemed to be too
I helped you through so much

I traveled to see you
Talked with you all the time
Was there when no one else was
And how do you repay me?

By ignoring me all weekend while you’re with your friends
Then you say I deserve better
That you’re a mess
You can see my feelings for you progressing

And they were
I was falling in love with you
I’m not sure why though
Because I do deserve better

I’m out of your league in more ways than one
But I was falling for you nonetheless
I started to lower my walls
And you saw me falling

But instead of catching me
You got scared
And ran away like a little boy
You were going to let me fall flat on my face

My momentum was building up
But luckily, as you turned to walk away
I looked up and saw your turned back
And I caught myself

I fell, but not as hard as I could have
I didn’t hurt anything but my pride
Like my fall in the cafeteria
I still looked like a fool and I’m embarrassed

But in the grand scheme of things
You’re just the piece of ice I slipped on in the cafeteria
Everyone saw it and talked about it for a while
But I got back up and kept walking like nothing happened

And that’s what I’m going to do now
You were right about one thing
I deserve the best
I am better than you and the best you will ever have

I put your things in a box
And labeled it “Military Boyfriend”
Not “Funny Boyfriend” or anything else you wanted to be called
Just “Military Boyfriend”

I learned a lot from you
You weren’t trying to teach me
But I learned
I learned a hell of a lot

And when you see me in 3½ years when you come back
I will be “that fine bitty you see walking around campus”
But I won’t give you the time of day
Because you’re just "Military Boyfriend"

You’re just the piece of ice I slipped on in the cafeteria

I thought things were perfect
Naïevly tumbling in love with you
Tumbling freely and out of control
Until you ended everything so suddenly

Although, 6 days before it was over,
I  sent you a text, pouring my heart out.
I wanted to tell you I loved you
But thankfully, I refrained

I'm laying in bed now, just thinking, and you seem to be the main thing running through my mind. And I'm quite alright with that haha. But I'm just thinking about everything about you. Your hands, the way you touch me, your arms and the way I feel when you're holding me, your lips and the way you kiss me, the way you make me laugh, and the way we just go together. Everything about us, to me, just fits together I think. I am attracted to everything about you and I miss you all the time I'm not with you. And sometimes I can't believe I'm so lucky to be with someone as great as you. And I think that's why I'm willing to be in this crazy long distance thing. Because I see what amazing potential we have and how great we really are. Before we know it, you'll be home! And I know we haven't even been together that long, but, gosh, I just cherish you and everything you are to me. And I can't even really explain everything you are to me, because I don't even know if I fully understand everything you mean to me, but you mean more than you know. I'm so happy we are a part of each other's lives because being with you makes my life better.

How did you reply the next morning?
Not how you normally would have
Not at all.
No, you sent me pictures of snow

It's snowing!

And that was it.
6 days before it was over
You told me everything
I needed to know.

It was snowing there.
And here?
Here, it was warm and muggy.
But here, I felt the cold.

*It's snowing