I thought by this time
My life would be like a movie.
Like what I saw on TV.
Sneak out past 2,
And enjoy life to the fullest.
I’d be that popular girl,
The one everyone tries to be.
I’d study hard,
Have many friends,
And have my first kiss.
I prayed for this time,
Many nights ago,
Where I would be happy
Living a Teenage Lie.

Now I look back
And see my reality.
I’m drowning in stress
While fantasizing my life
As an Indie
Coming of Age movie.
I want to go back,
To much happier years
Where I never existed.
They say we have so much time
To decide who we want to be.
We’re on ticking bomb
Reaching for unachievable
Childhood Dreams.

Will my mind be at peace?
Will the pain end soon?
Will I ever get the help I desperately want
But protest and refuse?
Everyone’s rooting for me
But it seems I’ve lost my path.
What’s the point of living,
When I can’t even accept my past?
I boast about finding your own happiness
And sealing that small crack
But every step I take sends me right back.
I feel as though I have no one
So I cry myself to sleep.
I feel unwanted by my own family,
My friends probably don’t care
To listen to my weeps.
I feel so alone with only my tears.
Maybe that’s the anxiety
Or maybe it’s just facts.
All I know is I’m too young to feel so sad.
I’ve never been abused or harmed
It’s honestly really silly.
I may not come from a perfect family
But it’s a family nonetheless.
I’m surrounded by so much joy and life
Yet it’s hard to appreciate any of it
When you’re depressed.

We’re supposed to be the voice of the future,
But we sit with bleeding wounds
Depression eating at our mind
Then left empty with insecurities.
Tears wanting to flow out,
“I’m fine.”

How can we change the worlds
When we can’t even accept our own scars?