mads: Poems

Untitled 25/01/2012

mads Jan 2012

Untitled 25/01/2012

From the deepest depths of this heart of mine
Is my vault of feelings that I've ever felt.
Before you, I layed them in a line
and at your feet I knelt.
Surrendering to you every truth
behind every lie.

I'm not sure about this poem. Opinions please?

Veins full of stars

mads Jun 2014

Veins full of stars

The sun folds into the moon and dances new light on forgotten grounds, these grounds grow and tend to hearts like yours; rare and beautiful. I'd say it's a garden but it's not really, you are a swimming pool and I'd happily drown amongst your stars... I already have.

I was tired and very in love.

Voices.

mads Jan 2012

Voices.

I
Could die tonight,
But who would cry?
Who would mourn if I lost my life in the darkness of night?

I lay sleepless; someone must care, surely?
Then a voice whispers "there's only one way to see."
And my left hand reaches for the gun slowly.
WAIT. There's no one else here to whisper but me.

I'm going insane.

Fictional

Waste away with me.

mads May 2012

Waste away with me.

The water washing over your currupt hands
will never, ever run clean, you're too far gone
you're too far gone, your eyes are black
no one can see you now, the cut isn't as deep as it seems
but, oh my, is it painful, unbearable, ineffable
it's time to swim away from this rip you're stuck in
break away, put the bottle down, spit the pills
and come waste away with me.

Pick our death, we'll go whichever way you want
as long as it's just you and me,
a train, a gun, a needle, water, a disease, old age
waste away, come waste away with me,
I know you're afraid to live, it's in your eyes
and, dear, I understand, but I'm scared too
of everything else, and I'm only here so you and I
are not alone, you can't do this on your own
I don't want you to. Come waste away with me.

We.

mads Jul 2012

We.

We only sing the sad songs
and become too tongue tied to speak
our names so the thoughts fall from greater heights
as we fly too close to the sun,
absolutely in love,
with our feet firmly on the ground.

A town like this, with two of us stuck,
has nothing to offer in the ways of you and i,
I swear we'll be leaving soon
and the candles inside us will reignite
and shine
we'll be the brightest one day,
we'll be the brightest you'll see.

Take every memory,
and lock it under stolen breaths
so they won't know, so they won't know a thing
about the deaths
of our souls,
together we won't hurt anymore
but the memories must be forgotten
before they see and know
that there is nothing they can do
nothing they can do to save us.

We will love until forever
or until or heads stop spinning,
our heads are like the earth
they spin for eternity,
we will be infinite
though, we are already dead
in each others arms.

We all need somebody.

mads Apr 2012

We all need somebody.

Sometimes,
Everyone just needs
Someone to come find them
In the darkness,
wipe away their tears
And pull them from the depths.
A hand to hold,
A smile to save them.
Another heart
To keep their own beating.
Sometimes,
Everyone just needs a light,
A shiny knight.
A lover,
A friend.
Everybody,
Needs love
And help.

We are destruction.

mads Jun 2012

We are destruction.

The smoke from all the bridges we burnt,
Pollute and burn our lungs,
We'll run on empty hearts,
And rotting legs,
This isn't the worst it could have come to,
Ashes gather in our hair,
Heavy winds picked it up,
It travels with us now,
Our past, has become us,
Destruction, our past is destruction
it has become us,
And now we fall, down rabbit holes,
Onto rotting corpses,
Into the arms of forgotten evil,
Blinded by the smoke of the comforting drugs,
And we breathe blood.
This is us.
We are destruction.

We are the monsters.

mads Jan 2012

We are the monsters.

I yell for the monster to come out from under my bed,
but all that emerges,
is the monster in my head.

"Welcome to your second session"

mads Jul 2012

"Welcome to your second session"

The counsellors office has always been uneasy
and the chairs always too cold
always a small breeze with the windows
not even cracked open.

This was the newest patients second visit,
everything was casual,
routine questions,
just another average case
but then there was a sudden silence,
the patient became curious and fidgety,
the counsellor sat waiting, watching.

"uh, doc. I know this isn't your dance
or anything,
but do you feel that?"

It had gotten the slightest bit colder
but that was usual
in these 2 decade old buildings.
"feel what, kiddo?"

"That!"

the patient standing now,
was pointing to the door,
as the violent ghosts swooped in
attacking them both,
too much blood and two mangled bodies
on the floor,
the receptionist didn't even hear a scream.

With the next appointment,
the receptionist walked in
getting a mouthful
of that putrid metal-blood taste.

I guess even buildings have a tormenting past.

Well fuck, what am I supposed to be? Impressed?

mads Aug 2012

Well ****, what am I supposed to be? Impressed?

Lipstick isn't the only thing that stains anymore.

Stubborn eyeliner has marked last nights man.

Tomorrow brings another day, but the same routine

and a different greedy look as she walks to the corner.

theres not enough water to wash away her diseases, dear.

Just a pest, a rat scattering the streets

with nothing more than a cigarette and greed in her hand.

Stumble, filth. stumble, stumble stumble *****.

Shes the highest range of STI distribution.

I say, she deserves a lukewarm meal.

extremely tired, cold and in pain. enjoy amigos.

We speak poetic sadness.

mads Jul 2012

We speak poetic sadness.

I've been watching you for days now,
not speaking, hardly interacting
and i can see in your eyes deep thought
like you're always searching now
but what for?

Always standing in the shadows,
like you're waiting for our bond
to just snap and retract you back
to where you were before me.

It's been 1 week and 3 days,
since we fell silent,
and I'll approach you today,
to let you know its time for separate ways.

"We can't continue in silence" I say
choking for the rest of my sentence,

You look at me so puzzled
and so lost in empty eyes,
"Well then... talk?"

"I think," I breathe, "you're not happy here."

"But..."

I look down, your eyes are burning me,
"I've been watching you for days,
You've been searching for ways
to leave me, and... I think I'm okay
with that."

In that moment,
I thought I heard you tremble,
I thought I heard you shudder,
but it was really just you walking away,
It was really just my world collapsing.

So empty, so, so empty.

The only friendship I have anymore is now falling apart. Oh joy.

We welcome you to our land of the living dead.

mads May 2012

We welcome you to our land of the living dead.

"Dearest friend, don't do that... you'll die."
"Oh, I'm already dead."
"Speachless but welcome, welcome to my land of the living dead."
"Darling, I know this place well, no need for introductions."
"I... I am the owner of this cemetery..."
*"Oh, sweet friend, stop. We need none of this.
My darling, we'll rot together."

What are you doing? (10w)

mads Jul 2012

What are you doing? (10w)

I'm waiting

                For the world

                                            To collapse around me

                                                                                              Again.

What are you doing? (1 stroke, I think..)

mads Nov 2012

What are you doing? (1 stroke, I think..)

Calmly laying in a coffin... practicing my speech for when the Devil and I meet.

I dunno..?

What do I Believe?

mads Mar 2012

What do I Believe?

The truth is;
You're bad,
You're a torture
i inflict on myself,
You're not healthy,
Bad, Horrible, Disgusting
But i miss you.

The fact is;
Despite what they say,
I still loved you.
You treated me better
than they ever knew.
You were so beautiful to me
and I loved you.

What I Should've Been Taught As a Kid.

mads May 2012

What I Should've Been Taught As a Kid.

Don't ever slay that mighty dragon
It's wings will crush you with the slightest movement
And it's firey breath will curl around your head.
You will not win.

Do nibble on the magic fungi
It'll show you the unimaginable to dream upon
And you'll find yourself in a fairytale with the pixies.

Don't plant those beans
The ones in which you gave a cow for.
The castle at the top of the stalk
Is not worth your time.

Do burn the witch, not for all the wrong reasons.
Let her teach you her black magic ways
And if she decides to turn against you
Then you have every right to lead her to the stake in chains.

Black cats are not bad luck.
If they're nice, they're your friend
Otherwise throw them under the ladder
Or into a mirror.

The beast is not always a prince under the witches spell.
Sometimes, he's just a ******* creep.

The knight in shining armor
Is just a suit against a wall in the castle hallway.

The wolf is not always there for the baked goods in the straw basket.
He wants more, your virginity maybe?
He'll steal all he can take which is everything.

No ***** is ever as pretty as those princesses or damsels in distress.
Most have the face of the witch
With the mask of a beauty.

When...

mads Aug 2012

When...

Insomnia attacks you front on,
rips back your eyelids
and devours the human sleep mechanism.

Depression disembowels you
and you feel sick to your stomach
every ******* second.

Scars forming on one limb
turn into bruies on another
and then into deep red scabs on the next.

Headaches throb and throb
and bash and throb
inside your head for weeks.

Extensive cold showers
do not suffice as an escape
And fail at making you clean enough.

There is only so much a pill can do.

When today ends.

mads Nov 2012

When today ends.

you know what love is

but you're a devil heart,

that will never share

secrets of a heartbeat.

and I know that look

in your eyes,

already planning ways

to tear out my heart

to taste the pulsing flesh.

Whisper. (10w)

mads Nov 2012

Whisper. (10w)

I wish ladybeetles could talk,

They'd tell the sweetest stories.

w h i t e n o i s e

mads Jul 2019

w h i t e n o i s e

I wonder what it’s like to dream...
What is it like...?
To dream anything but static.

Will you win or lose?

mads May 2012

Will you win or lose?

I've seen you fall, sweety,
I've seen the earth open up
and take you,
I've seen you go through
the worst, feel the pain
and taste the drugs
I've seen you come down,
I've seen blood stained tears,
I've seen ear piercing screams,
I've seen you fight
But I've never seen you lose
like this before,
Don't give up now, girl.
Stay strong.

With memories of you.

mads May 2012

With memories of you.

She sat on the tiles that night,
sheilding bruised ribs with crossed arms,
aquainting herself with the inside of the bowl,
throwing up all the pain and thoughts.

Something got caught in her throat though,
did you get stuck there?
(was is the coals of the fire
you started inside her?
You let it die, it died out)
maybe she wasn't ready to let that memory go yet,

Coughing, heaving, spluttering, hurting, crying,
but the bathroom was so quiet, tiled walls too protecting,
she kept her silence that night as she died, with memories of you.

I don't know.

Worse

mads Jul 2020

Worse

I mean...
You could’ve left me at the altar.
It could be worse than this.

Despite my heart dripping through
My broken rib cage...
It could be worse than this.

One day of feeling like I’m being
Crushed and flattened into mud.
But it’s okay,
Because I refuse to be worse than this.

I’m getting better. I’m healing. And I’m finding myself and self esteem and self love again.

Writers Block

mads Mar 2014

Writers Block

Again, like a clogged drain filled with leopard fur,
The tantalising words of my next and newest mind burst
Seeped through and escaped.

Most nights I wish I could escape
From monsters I cannot see,
Hear or feel...
Are they even monsters at all?

I keep finding hell's butterflies,
but I don't think they're real any more.

Other minutes pass and I'm stuck on remembering
A single line that was never meant to enter my mind.

A whole day now has introduced a double cosmos
Swirling its nebula around my toes,
I'm still stuck here but it's cosy...
And I'm wholly overcome with mesmerising tastebuds.

1. I don't think hell butterflies ever existed.
2. The cosmos doesn't touch your feet, but if you stare at the stars long enough, you become them.
3. I'm tired
4. Welcome to my mind on an indifferent day

X

mads May 2012

X

Don't look at me like that
you know your eyes are venom
they tear and rot my flesh

But I know you never looked at me
it was always through me
like I didn't exist.

It's okay, though
I always enjoyed burning in your stare
constantly alight.

You always saw me, but I was never there
I was never there.

You saw the fire tears falling
from my bloodshot eyes

You know I'm hurt.
What are you going to do about it?

There's no bandages
creams or ointments
that are going stop the pain

There's only you
and you've already walked away.

i don't know.

Year 12.

mads Jul 2014

Year 12.

7 months,
    $400
         And a 1,178km medicinal trip
         To a freedom unbeknown
         And untasted by these eyes
         I am so ready, but is my life?

8 weeks,
              10 tests, doused in falsities that kidnap the education system,
              3 months and I am done,
             Finished and fully educated to their standard.
             So close and yet so far,
             I haven't learnt a thing.

I've almost finished my last year of high school... I've almost conquered my hatred and fear of the system... This is all I've got to hold on to, all that's keeping me going.

Ying and Yang.

mads Feb 2012

Ying and Yang.

The moon,
a shy beauty,
only emerges at night.
And the sun, only in day.
Funny how they're always chasing
each other. Always one behind the other.
Silly, though, how only once in years do they cross paths
like the cat and mouse chase is over only for moments
then it begins again.
A cycle. Just like everything else in life.
Life in itself is a cycle
as is love, happiness, good and evil.

Opinions would be appreciated.

“You. Are. A. TOY!”

mads Jul 2022

“You. Are. A. TOY!”

I’m like a carnival ring toss prize.
Except modified to be easier won.
Claimed, played with, cared for
And then dropped
But with a limb torn off and pocketed.
All before they’ve left the booth.
So I get grabbed by the attendant,
And strung back up to be won and discarded again.
People easily get bored,
I’m already broken,
So why not take a piece?

You left, daddy.

mads Jan 2012

You left, daddy.

A father
Recently met his daughter
For the first time since she was born.
Lack of being in her life left him not at all torn.

Little Annie, is four.
And has never met her daddy before.
He came to visit her,
With her breathtaking eyes and blonde hair
Eye contact sadly seemed rare.
She wouldnt look at him.
So, he asked with a faint grin,
"What's the dolls name, sweetheart?"
Just to begin conversation
And maybe get her attention.
Without looking at her father,
She answered, a little harsher
"I didn't name her.
Just incase she left me, sir,
Like you did.
That way she's easier to forget."

This poem is a mess and it goes to you, to the father I never ******* knew. To the father who never wanted me. To the father who loved his money and his lies more than me.

Your face became the sun.

mads Apr 2012

Your face became the sun.

I always hated the way
Your face burnt into the sun
'Cause you became the reason
That everything shone.
It always meant
That I could never wash you
Out of my brain
'Cause no one can ever get
Close enough to the sun
To rid it of you.
Rainy days soon became my favourite
A sort of cleasning; a break from you.
My house also soon became a comfort
So did shadey trees, and clouds
They always blocked your face
And shielded me from the sun.

Horrible. Ideas and opinions would be appreciated.

Your hands.

mads Jun 2012

Your hands.

Continuing on like this,
would be wrong and
you would never understand
what its like to fall asleep at strange hours
and wake up violently
with the acid taste
of your name in my screams,
and memories drying cool on my pillow,
to claw at my skin
hoping your name will appear
in a permanent red on my leg,
swing from the ropes
that held you to me
at some stage before the present,
I can no longer hold onto the nights
you held me so tight
that I hoped I'd melt into your skin
becoming you so that you'd never leave
and your hands,
oh your hands, your hands, your hands,
I swore they would never go fragile
and your hands, your hands would hold me forever.

over tired rambling.

Your mind.

mads May 2012

Your mind.

Oh, pretty, pretty please tell me
You see me in your dreams,
And pretty, pretty please say
That in your imagination
I'm happier than I seem
Because I've alway been that lost girl
Searching this big world
And your mind twists and deludes who I am
I was never as bubbly as I came across
And I suppose that's why our bubble popped.
How did you make me seem so fake?
When I'm real flesh and bone
Just like you.
I could never be just what you wanted
And you couldn't stay as long as
I wanted you to.

make of this what you want.

Your taste lingers,

mads Sep 2012

Your taste lingers,

wrote your name in the sand
watched the waves wash
and take it,

so,

i wrote your name
and all my fears
at the bottom
of a bottle of jack,

I found them every night.

You're in every
Decision i make,
you're in every
sip i take.

I'm not really sure. Enjoy.

Your words are empty now, what happened? (10w)

mads Jul 2012

Your words are empty now, what happened? (10w)

The statement



                                       To keep me

                                                                      Forever,

A promise?

Or threat?

Talk is cheap
but you spent all yours
they don't mean a thing,
etc, etc, cliche'? so cliche',
choke on your spit.
Threaten me one more time,
I'll have your ******* head.

You shouldn't be here.

mads Mar 2013

You shouldn't be here.

Eyes so tragic,
Blood so thin,
Laced with too many sins.
She broke your heart,
What should you do?
I'll never escape that.
A thousand paper cuts
Bleed so deep
Soaked the paper through.
Your heart is on the left...
You missed this time,
But what am I to do?
There's been a lapse in order
Shields as weapons
The king is dead,
What are we to do?
Lay down our arms
Or make love with our ego.
There's been a lapse in time,
A change in order
And a collapse of all we knew.
What should we do?

I dunno. help with the title? thoughts? let me know

You should've killed me when you had the chance.

mads Aug 2012

You should've killed me when you had the chance.

Why would you tell me to breathe
if you're the only one who wants me to die?
wind your spells around my neck
and tighten your grip.
this is a wasteland.
You want me to breathe but
you're the one killing me.
Hypocritical ******* flows
from your mouth so beautifully.
this is a wasteland, a chemical reunion.
through death you say,
i'll live again.
put your venom in my mouth
you're the only one that wants me around
you're the only one that wants me to die.
Don't tell me to breahe,
its only toxic waste in these lungs.
your fangs in my tongue, deteriorate.
I'll dissolve and you'll explode
in pretty coloured smoke. enjoy.
You'll vanish before i can blink an eye.
You're the only one that wants me to die.

You think you're evil, but you're not.

mads Sep 2012

You think you're evil, but you're not.

Sink your teeth
deep into my innocence,
on your plump lips
does it taste devine?
Just like this heart of mine?

Drink up the grease
of guilt and lies
I dare you, I dare you!
It'll mix with yours
just fine.

**** my wasted kisses
from the tip of my tongue,
they always lingered there,
Scrape them off with a razor
put them in a jar.

But leave my heart,
leave it dead and black
inside me.

The title has nothing to do with the poem, but its all i could think of.

You were never my friend.

mads Jan 2012

You were never my friend.

I kicked and screamed my way out of your grip.

(You frustrate me no end.)

I hope that one day your razor slips.

(You were never my friend.)

I want to see your blood drip.

(Your heads broken. It won't mend.)

Enough blood will flow to sink a ship.

(Your madness is without end.)

This poem is a mess.

— The End —