Why must this searing pain
in my throat debilitate me,
why must my lungs
throb with such breathlessness
again?

thinking all this was over
thinking all of this was done,
i let myself collapse, falter
and become so numb.

i'll drown in fire
and freeze in the depths
of razor thunder.
this is not electricity
this is a pain
i thought i'd forgotten
or atleast padlocked into a cage

Sit with a blank stare,
Mechanical chest,
In... Out.
In... Out.
Throbbing of a sore heart
Da dum.
Da dum.
Left foot twitches;
Itching
To walk the world.
Despondent minds.
Blink once, stare.
Sit and stare.

From across the dim
Hazy room,
I ask,
"What...
What are you...
Waiting for?"

Quietly, you answer,
Careful not to break
Your intense stare.
"Here, I wait
For the world to change,
For it to accept me
And my failed attempts
To be something more."

october mornings
in a cafe in france
early morning tea
sitting on the street as
the early morning mist
kisses our feet.

how hard it is
to cut calloused skin.
how hard it is
to bleed the devil's blood.

A scream...
followed by a choke
a splutter, a gasp
then
a CRACK.

a field of white,
red river flowing
from the cavity of a chest
to gravel.
how long is
the road now?

light ever present
at tunnels end
how many times
must you die
before you get there?

spit broken teeth,
walls leave you weak
spell bound to feet
i bow,
"ah, goodmorrow
mystery"

Pretty,
your blood is pretty
and my oh my!
your veins look perfect tonight.
throbbing blue is making my head spin,
your pulse dizzys me.
let me taste,
just a little
and if i lose control...
well you must taste so sweet

I swim through your eyes,
get lost in your mind;
it's so beautiful here.

i could watch your life grow
forever and never get bored
with your way of processing
even the simplest things.

i dive deeper
and fall into the warmth
of your heart, but
i feel its so fragile,
corners stitched together;
makeshift medicine
against lost loves
and fatigue from the world
that treated you so badly,
i brush my fingertips
over the blackening spots
hoping to take
your sadness away.


i fell in love
with the butterflies
living in your belly,
their colours adding
to your beauty.

My eyes open slowly,
and to just trace your lips
with the tip of my finger
would be safety for me
and all these tears would
dry.

I awaken
to only realize
i am alone once again,
needing you here.