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mads May 2012
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Don't look at me like that
you know your eyes are venom
they tear and rot my flesh

But I know you never looked at me
it was always through me
like I didn't exist.

It's okay, though
I always enjoyed burning in your stare
constantly alight.

You always saw me, but I was never there
I was never there.

You saw the fire tears falling
from my bloodshot eyes

You know I'm hurt.
What are you going to do about it?

There's no bandages
creams or ointments
that are going stop the pain

There's only you
and you've already walked away.
i don't know.
mads May 2012
She sat on the tiles that night,
sheilding bruised ribs with crossed arms,
aquainting herself with the inside of the bowl,
throwing up all the pain and thoughts.

Something got caught in her throat though,
did you get stuck there?
(was is the coals of the fire
you started inside her?
You let it die, it died out)
maybe she wasn't ready to let that memory go yet,

Coughing, heaving, spluttering, hurting, crying,
but the bathroom was so quiet, tiled walls too protecting,
she kept her silence that night as she died, with memories of you.
I don't know.
mads May 2012
Don't ever slay that mighty dragon
It's wings will crush you with the slightest movement 
And it's firey breath will curl around your head. 
You will not win. 

Do nibble on the magic fungi 
It'll show you the unimaginable to dream upon 
And you'll find yourself in a fairytale with the pixies. 

Don't plant those beans
The ones in which you gave a cow for. 
The castle at the top of the stalk
Is not worth your time. 

Do burn the witch, not for all the wrong reasons. 
Let her teach you her black magic ways 
And if she decides to turn against you
Then you have every right to lead her to the stake in chains. 

Black cats are not bad luck. 
If they're nice, they're your friend
Otherwise throw them under the ladder
Or into a mirror. 

The beast is not always a prince under the witches spell. 
Sometimes, he's just a ******* creep. 

The knight in shining armor
Is just a suit against a wall in the castle hallway. 

The wolf is not always there for the baked goods in the straw basket. 
He wants more, your virginity maybe?
He'll steal all he can take which is everything. 

No ***** is ever as pretty as those princesses or damsels in distress. 
Most have the face of the witch
With the mask of a beauty.
mads May 2012
Where were you when the sky was falling?
Where were you when the ground opened up
And took me?

Do you ever question your absence
And why you never saw me smile?

Oh, Daddy, dear
You were walking with the beast
When the beauty needed you here.

You could've stopped me from hating you
Before I learnt the meaning of hate and the things you did.

But the front door seemed more appealing
And I'm sorry it did.
You kept walking. You're leaving, you're leaving-
Oh, hell. I blinked and now you're gone.

7, 8, 9... How many years is it now?
Can you count your length of absence to the day?
Or were you too stupid to know what number came next
after day one?

I've thought about meeting you again.
And I've thought of all the reasons you'd come.
You'd only show, just to tell child services
That you know my ******* name
And the colour of my hair-
It's dyed bright red, not that you care.

Then, I thought of all the reasons you wouldn't be there.
You can't remember my existance.
I'm not worth your time.
You're too lazy to even flinch
Or move a finger or blink
To bother with your child.
I'll stop this list now, before it takes away all my ink.

Mother was always right.
Did it hurt when you'd call me? I was only aged four
I'd run away from Mum when she tried to pass me the telephone.

All the time, I see girls who whinge about their father's
And I'd look at the good relationships they have
And feel ill in the stomach with a lump in my throat
To know I've never known what it's like
To not have a deadbeat father.
mads May 2012
Loneliness is more than a feeling,
It's a creature that manages,
To swallow you whole, chew you up,
And spit you out on the bedroom floor,
Unable to move, but rocking from,
Involuntery sobbing. I know you're not the only one,
You're not the only one who has drowned,
In the beast's stomach acid,
And Oh! Don't salty tears taste so sweet,
You would know, they sneak their way on to those lips,
And you can't resist but to lick your own sorrow,
Your ribs wouldn't be so bruised either,
If it was easier to breathe.
mads May 2012
I remember when we thought,
That together we could out last,
The world and every creation on it,
I remember when we thought,
That together we formed something,
Something that could embody immortality,
The days when I forgot how hard,
It was to breathe and smile,
It finally became natural again,
And I thank thee for that.

Caught up in your eyes,
And the way you swore you'd defy time,
Just to see me smile, be forever mine,
I never thought about tomorrow,
What would happen, who would die,
Who's smile would fall, who's feelings would fade,
We never thought or spoke of the things,
That were worth saying, and now,
We're frozen in regret saying goodbye,
To the ones we loved, ones we forgot.
mads May 2012
Come with me,
And I'll show what it's like
To have a heart
That beats out of beat.
We'll walk through
That ******* fog
That feels like
I'm swimming through
Blood.
(It's thicker than water)
It gets so hard to breathe
Somedays, everyday.
We'll stumble
Around that forest
Of trees made up
Of lies, planted by my mind.
I'll paint for you
Horrific pictures of death
And wishes of death
With tears on my paintbrush.
I'll sing for you
With ***** in my mouth
Because my heart
That beats out of beat
Makes me sick.
And even if I did
Drag you through all this,
Even if I did
Pull you through the mud
Surrounding my heart
You'd still never understand
A thing.
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