maybe if I relax my tongue before I fall asleep it will slowly fall back into my throat & suffocate me until I reach my death. for without you there is no reason to live any longer. the communication is in such lack & I don't really know if you care anymore. would I be here at 3:32 wondering this if you did? or would you be here to comfort the burning sensation in my chest that arose when you first left.

'its a good morning' you said. as we sat side by side fingers locked together listening to the rain fall upon the windows in my car. little did I know that it may have been the last we spent together.

ironic how the rain just began to fall upon my bedroom window. you see the only sad part about it all is you're not here with me to enjoy this memorable time. perhaps it's a conspiracy that this has happened. you may be laying somewhere else in this small town of troy doing the exact same thing as I am & it's only a sign that our love has become inseparable. or maybe I've just gone insane, but let me tell you something my love, 'it's a good morning'.

& as the days drag on without you, I continue on my way hoping you'll return.
there is no significance to my train of thought, it is the apprehensive rage that has taken over. the emptiness without you has left me bewildered. you were my refuge from the life I now live & since you've left there are no more escapes. you've concealed yourself away from me & my happiness went with you. I no longer know how to pretend I'm doing fine without you. i miss you so much

nobody will ever compare
you've left your mark on me
a scar I have to wear
where once you held me sleep
though tonight I lie awake
wishing you were here
no more smiles for me to fake
I have released my first tear
if you were to see me now
I wonder how you'd react
would you feel bad for how
you lied to disguise the fact
or would you carry on
vanishing out of sight
dragging yourself along
wishing you had said goodnight

I'll never understand
or grasp ahold to reason
why'd you take my hand
and force me to leave him

Once we made our route
you promised not to tell
though everything is out
I drown in overwhelm

Pushed down underneath
my lungs are being filled
I didn't mean to breathe
but I couldn't remain still

You are the hands holding down
wishing that I'd die so soon
if I weighed less in pound
I'd be gone after a single tune

I'm sorry that I'm fighting
it's a force of bad habit
if I could control my act
I'd choose not to fight it

I'd let you drown me now
forever taking my soul
make you take a bow
for you accomplished my only goal

the shame in conversation
why'd i allow myself to ask
could've witnessed an observation
now I'm faced to where my mask
never shall I revile my sane
through times I had been punctured
if it had remained the same
my soul would rest in comfort
disregarding my thoughts alone
an assortment of bad habit
such awful torture had been thrown
devising my pain emphatic