20 hours
who needs sleep
who needs food
or people to talk to
I have been wide awake for 20 hours
my eyes are heavy
but it feels like they'll explode if I close them
My head is so dizzy
I'm waiting for the sun to rise
maybe it will make me sleep
There was always something about sunsets that made me dreamy and tired
my wrist hurts like a *****
my muscles scream form days ago
my bruises are not fading
The cold air from my opened window soothes them
my roof is rough beneath my feet and the sky is dark and empty of stars
the moon has passed and the sun is coming
only an hour or so left.
I want to be him here even if he were asleep
I'm such a ******* baby and can't stop complaining
the sky brings me so much peace but makes me unsettled at the same time.
Maybe I just can't sleep because the moon is full
it always makes people a bit on edge.

You grow impatient
it happens to much
it's to easy to tell
chomp
stop
stop before it starts
chomp
****
this ridiculous tick when you get flustered.
chomp
the crooked beige stone come together
over and over in 1 minute intervals.
chomp
you drive me insane, just by talking but when you do this, you could push me to ******.
you do it over ridiculous things.
because you are ridiculous.
your teeth and lips quickly clamp together.
I want strip you of them, to break your jaw
make it humanly impossible for you to do it.
chomp
if I did it maybe you would learn a lesson.
the mouth that you use to try and teach
but only spews ignorance.
and anger, depression, and complete insanity.
why can't i **** you?
*chomp

I have an itch
come scratch it.
trees and rocks don't help
or fingers
i need claws
claws that will leave trenches
trenches in my skin and in my mind
I have an itch
Could it be poison oak or dry skin
an addiction starting to kick in?
An itch.
this ******* itch.
this itch needs to be scratch
if it blsiters and scarrs
oh well
it got scratched

As sleep overwhelms me, my eyes slowly shut
The darkness grows deeper and I soon start drowning in it.
It grows colder and I let it wrap around me.
Moving constantly through out the night.
Comfort doesn't come to me.
Dreams of death and horror come to greet my imagination
Cold sweat starts to rise from my goose bump ridden skin
I  feel the hands of my mind wrap around my throat.
Plaguing me with fear and restlessness.
It is now clear to me that the peace of night,
won't be mine tonight.

The burning starts and I couldn't blink
I blow out the smoke I held in my lungs
It engulfs my face
The smoldering stops
And my body goes limp as I relax and wait.
Trying to leave the stress and worry I carry far far behind.
The opened window carries in cold air.
It takes over me and i don't remember my troubles.
I finally found my serenity.

The wall is where I stay
Avoiding eye contact
staying where i belong
Always keeping my eyes on my feet.
Humming to the music
While people dance to it.
Trying to ignore the hi's and hello's
And quietly eavesdropping on their conversations
Rejecting the requests to dance and to talk
I don't get why people talk to m.
It's just not worth it honestly....

It draws nearer
the threat looming over me
I can't stop it
It never stops chasing me
It comes with regret and choices,
consequences and feelings.
It grows shorter
but always comes
You can't stop it.
No one can.
The only relief you can get from it, is finally death
The flowers age, building crumble from under its weight, rocks erode, skin wrinkles.
And old memories fade.
The future comes.
And time passes.
It's never ending and always comes.
Your time shortens and it ends.
Your future will bring you joy.
Your future will bring you pain.
But it is YOURS.
Do what you will with it.

I hide behind sweetness.
My anger refuses to show itself yet.
My cute walls will soon start to fall.
The rage and emotions will rush out like an eruption.
I hide for protection.
From ridicule and the truth.
My friends don't really know me, and none of them realize it.
I want to be truthful but I can't....