I loved you.
Not for who you were,
But for who I wanted you to be.
The perfection you held
In my mind, was limitless.
There was no wrong you could do.
Every moment with you
Was like a fairytale
But then something changed
You changed
My thoughts changed.
All your flaws became obvious to me.
All at once,
you fell short of perfection.
You were no longer my perfect movie scene.
My expectations for you were unachievable.
I made you perfect
But somehow,somewhere, reality hit me.
I didn't love you.
I loved what my mind created.
I loved what I wanted you to be.
And for that,
I am truly sorry.

If I were braver I would tell you what I think I know
I would tell you I love you and that
You light up my soul

I Would tell you that it’s true
Even though I know it doesn’t
Make things easy
And the trembling in my scar tissue
Makes me sort of quesy,
Even if you can’t say the same three words to me
And I want it
Or worse yet I’m haunted
That you will…
And I’ll fall to the hallow sound
When your unsure,
I would rather squirm in the silence
Then fall to the pretense
Of a love unreturned.
I think I have learned that love comes in different flavors
And you are all your own.
I love you different than any person
I have ever known.
I’m unsure of how long
This life will let me hold you in my arms
Or if your wit and your charm will be enough
To get us by
But it is no lie when I say
I love you.

we spend our lives looking for reasons
to crown upon the heads of chaos,
grasping at the corners of our reality,
desperately seeking comfort in our happy endings,
cheating minds into believing it will all
work out, only to affront the gaping reality that
it won’t.

recalling all the times you’ve looked up
at the sequin encrusted cloak of night,
that wraps around your languid figure,
like the quiet of your mother’s womb
and felt the earth moving.
when you jumped,
and the world kept spinning.

and it screamed out of the bloodshot horizon,
that this is only the dawn,
and it will never set.