Such a pleasant storm
hidden silent behind those curtains
of hair
I've carefully cultivated
more than ever before
But one side is exposed
so all can see the care
I've returned to taking

She has blood in her hair
the girl she doesn't know
working both ways
imagining sensations that aren't there
inventing words and ignoring old sounds
Let's give her a hand
this unwitting princess
we all want to save her voice
we all want her to see her own crown

Oh the times we're living in
I can't feel my body
but for the burning in my throat
Bathed in talent
and guiding experience
fighting a cold numbness
lifting headrush
I lose the meaning
I lose the direction
But not the heart
so tell me
aren't these the times we're living in?

Crooked windows
show more
of their landed view
and they let more snow in
they who built an unsteady house
we need to fix the foundation
raise the structure
and put some books under it
Let's hope that stops the wobbling

Quivering moon
a reflection of your
old self
penetrating a bus window
or two
so bright aflame
I want to dance to you
as you dance alongside
your compatriot being

It's the tree of life
get it?
I hope you do because

I'm going in and out
and I need something to
ground me

and you need soil
something to hold

What's the impression you got?
I got that you were impressed
and now you're gone
so I'm confused and
abandoned

Personified
with the floral art
I'm filled with words
maddening it can't stop
it moves my fingers
and I try to employ my eye
elsewhere
fruitless
but a bursting yield
spills through my pen
Does the irony or the
exhaustion **** me?

I'm clicking my pen
against my teeth
thinking of you
hoping you'll hear
I don't know to what end
but I don't want it to end
some beginning things
would be lovely

NEVER GO BACK
a finality I hope not
to hear
in my own fate
is it flexible?
I need the option

Have you ever seen
the inside of bones?
look into your own
the red mess
impossibly deep
pour it out like a slow night
watch it closely
the fragments fall
all you are on the floor
clarity comes
once that experience of
breaking and melting
comes to pass

Staring
glazed over
lost in a state of wonder
single planed
dimension of disembodied one
I find my courageous future
in the pinnacle
of a symmetric background
a whole wall of it before me
this is what we're dying for
in this moment above forward
and all beyond
us
so innocent a face
to your dark new feel
meta strange
wheel and float
you are mine
it is ours
this gives me hope
and a willingness to
grander cohesion
I wish this will all
be vibrant tomorrow

I'm starting to see shadows
in the peripherals of my
memory
the noises are a muffled
echo
this illness filters
I'm scared
I'm alone
stumbling over what was
always there

I need to quit this
bittersweet
Candy Man
sweet sugar
burns my eyes
he's rotting my teeth
out of my
***** mind

Second time
around
here we go
or we may not
so I'll board the merry-go-round
this carousel of disappointment
expectant as always
I shouldn't be

Go on
Dig nails into my hands
for frustration
at their creating
nothing

I wish I didn't have to
pick my way
across each room
I don't want every
single step
to have to be
so carefully chosen
I want to run all out
this tiptoe dance
is tiring me

The thought of
seeing him
vis-a-vis
drains my
confidence
that soaked me
mère seconds ago
where there was fire
sickly butterflies
thrash

Just because I
traveled down a
new road
doesn't mean I can't
revisit old footpaths
favorite strolls
in shady memory past
New destinations
good
not permanent

I walk alone
strut and tall
I fly
by
all leather boots
and smeared eyeliner
with a poisoned lip
you can't touch
my black lace
or wild hair
I have a ******* tongue
and no ***** for eyes
and a rhythm in my
woman's hips
Don't you see me flying?
smirk

I would tell you
to do what you want
with me
my body
but I already know
that's nothing

Unlikely on what ends?
How do I dream
When I never ever know
to begin with?

Awful spirit
reclined in a chair
sleeping in indifferent good humor
Hold your legs up
let us look on sideways
and don't you dare look back

A proposal is not a proposition
and a step toward adulthood
is not
a step back from childhood

Smooth covers hold
breaking at the spine
the weight of my conscious

Quiet sincerity
and a deep brown stare
I like sitting here with you
engrossed in our philosophy
where will the conversation lead
that I could foresee wistfully
but a practical short time reality
pervades
so I am content with you before me

Graffiti is a beautiful thing
A splash of the soul
in an unlikely place
character and development
hardship and victory
every detail recorded
in ink
where mother big brother father of all
says should be bare
In the cover of my own
independence
I shadow in and shade
my very ****** skin
until I am a ****** no more
and I can see myself inside out
memorialized in permanence
that bespeaks adulthood
a grown up
graffiti

My tongue is dry
is it from a lack of water
or a lack of love?
I'm not sure but
my head is splitting by the jaw
and your cheap medicinal tricks
won't solve a **** thing
they won't fill a **** hole

Will these ones stay?
Not many do
My exposure is hard to handle
for long
it takes them time
time enough to raise my hopes
to a haven of peace
and love all around
for them to cut and run
cut and run
through my heart and over my soul
I am trampled and hewn and ******
from so many old stampedes
frightened well wishers
How will these fare?
How will I manage?

Spotlight on an empty field
Where is the knight?
He slumps by a stream
I don't know what he waits for
or why I can't look away
All is concentrated
in that one spot
where nothing really happens

Binding page after page
I have no idea how long
this book will be
Or if it will even end
I don't even have words to write
on their bare backs
but each page goes in
and my hands are numb
Page after page
I bind
I bind
Anyway

Close your eyes little girl
close them and dream
Dream of a day
when all you want is what you have
Dream of a you
completely yourself
Dream of a future
you can live with
Close your eyes little girl
close them against the reality of now
but don't forget
it's what you have to get through
first

dazed and confused
stuck in a murky stupor
the warmth of spring
and the lure of a free day
they tore down the calendar
and stole my books
so here I lay
unaware

I know I should have stopped
five texts ago
I understood your silence
I knew I wasn't wanted
but
sometimes talking to a brick wall
is better than talking to
nobody at all

Answer me
Answer me
You don't understand
please
these ears were made for
laughter
love
the speech of friends
please
answer me
You don't understand
what silence does to me
I'm begging you
please
answer me
anybody
answer me

Cut off
everything I had learned
my new enjoyments
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
everyone I had met
my new friends
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
Everything that I had become
my new identity
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
I am unsure
if I will get myself back
upon my return
or if I will even return at all
I am so separate
I question what was even real

My strong convictions
which I had
written out on my arm
are fading
and I'm begging them
to stop
to stay
but
I can't see ten enough
anymore

I dreamed that
I cracked bone
or
enamel between my teeth
but I couldn't find it
in the mirror
and
my friend was in a
living hell
where I could see him
and belonged
I woke up
bewildered
and with the most sore jaw

I am angry
that you don't see
how much it hurts
when I swoon

Or maybe you do
you just say nothing
and that just makes me
sad

Sometimes the worst
kind of stress
is the one you can't see
but feel
when you wake up
after thinking you were
safe
to breathe

My head hurts
because you're forcing my jaw
shut
where you once
opened up an easy smile

I smile all
warmth and
summer of best intentions
host of hopes in spring
lukewarm courtesy is all
I receive
so I just put my head down
to hide my frigid burning tears
ineffectually with my
cold steel hacked so short
and shove my numb hands
into the snow
I have packed into my
ample pockets

The door has shut
but I have only realized
the solid wood in my face
not that I'm looking
through the cold glass
(how can it be so cold
when you were so warm
to the touch?)
at your light on the
inside

A gradient of shade
blocks out what falls
and I'm left wondering
what comes next

Take my cold hands
in yours
one more time
I need your
effortless opposite warmth

I'm bleeding bones
and weeping bile
everything hurts
just that much more
because you
stole my blood
and stole my tears

I still remember how
you murmured
empty love words
against my mouth
in that dark room
where our skin touched
and for the briefest of moments
our hearts met

Hey
you're new
and I like your face
and your humor
Let's be friends
How do I politely
invite myself to one of your parties?

My tongue is tripping
on your name
even though I've
spat it out
a million times
already

Nervously shoveling snowcaps
in my face
while watching in vain
for whitecaps
the only calm of the day