I'm a coffee ***;
you're in the mood for tea.

remember when we were teenagers

and you smoked *** and
i cut myself


and your mom hated me
because i'm an atheist

and how in love we were
and how much you made my heart beat

and how we used to make love
at any given second that we could have alone

because our bodies felt like they were meant to fit together


and then i moved away

and i broke up with you
because
you didn't have this list of things i thought i deserved
like a job
a loving family
a good college education
good spelling
a desperate searching want to get out of this ******* place and be something better than you were.


i was selfish
to let you go

but

god, i loved you.
if i have ever been so sure of something in my life,

it was that i loved you.

Every gorgeous living day
I feel alive
          When I wake up.
I look around when I walk
I don't stare at my shoes.
There are pigeons that coo
           from the roof of the
library,        purring happily
                            from the height
I look up at them with
                       a smile on my face
fully knowing
         knowing fully
                           that people
are "staring" at me
         because I'm smiling
into the sky with my
head thrown back.

And I pass lovely people
who are fully unaware

that they are unique.
that they are truly worth
     something.

But other days, I pass 20
different people
        and I feel as though
I have just passed

             the same person
                      20 times.

This town is a bubble.
         I hate that I'm
the only ******* person
that loves those pigeons.

I need someone
         anyone

to show me that they're alive

:that they're not too
           BUSY

to appreciate the fact that
the air they're breathing
        is clear like a wine class
                      and that the sky is a gorgeous
metallic shiny brand new blue

I need someone who
         will

prove it to me.

                  Prove to me that they deserve to
walk around
on this ground.

While they
don't write poetry
don't feel much
don't contribute

                               because they're
                                    too BUSY.

**** BUSY people.

I want to meet people

that appreciate that
they're alive.
I want to meet people

        that scream
                 laugh
                           cry
                      love

People who pick up trash on the street

People who spend time reading books to kids

People who sew their own clothes

People who clap at the end of a great movie and stay until all the credits have rolled

People who will look up
                   when they hear
                           the library pigeons.

I am a walking glass
Transparent
An overflowing rim
I hope it’s not too apparent

Don’t tip me
I might just spill
Was it one drink or three?
I’ve drunk my fill

I’m your whiskey girl
Bubbling over
A sequined, beaded twirl
another lover

chasing white rabbits and
   knights in shiny
white armor
white dress
white nights
white hair
white houses with
white picket fences
white oaks
white roses and a
white dog beware
of
white lead
white flames
white wash and
white lies

A moment that will forever make my soul burn to it's very core
taking that serendipitous plunge down the staircase, falling before your very door
I was a mess of papers scattered
elbows scraped and battered
a box of blueberries left the ground covered
a gift meant for another
it was never you, despite you rushing to the hall
answering as if your call
to be my savior
I brushed myself off and thanked you for the favor
your heart was already taken, mine also sealed in fate
I rushed away to the parking lot where my future wife would wait
time dragged on and we never spoke again
until I found solace in you my old friend
he left just like you knew he would in time
as we spoke of this dying love of mine
until the time arose, where she left me empty handed and broken hearted
I felt myself trace back to where it always started
the plunge, but the stairs were nowhere to be found
simply a plunge into a love unbound
I'd give it all to be laying sprawled across the floor once more
helplessly awaiting for my savior, my soulmate to come to the door...