i am lost
at a loss
in loss
grieving true loss
there is nowhere for me to turn
for i know not where to look
to see
to reach
doubt clouds perspective
losing my grip on reality
there is no solidity
floating aimlessly through time and space
kinesthesia reversed
taking flight through negative space
to see me falling pains you
but honestly what can you do
who am i to you
i am friend
sister
daughter
lover
maybe someday mother
i am falling and there's nothing you can do
nothing you can do
nothing i can do
nothing you can do
nothing you can do
for i am you
and there is nothing i can do

I am lying in your lap
You are touching my *******
I rise to kiss you softly
I begin to rub your chest
Your hands have moved elsewhere
And a fire ignites inside me
Kissing harder, I grab you for stability
We’re sitting together now,
Groin to groin
You quickly lift me to the bedroom
To our private party no one else can join
You place me softly on the bed, kiss my shoulder
Remove my clothes slowly,
But I am no colder
The weight of your body and the warmth of your excitement flow over me
Our bodies match perfectly like puzzle pieces
There’s nowhere else on Earth I’d rather be
And I’m kissing you hard
You’re kissing me sweetly
Hands running across my skin
The expansive amount of sensitive space you’re about to be within
I’m holding onto you as you move over me
And suddenly we’re connected by the explosion in our favorite extremities
We’re moving in sync
The fire ignited has spread
At this moment I can barely think
The last thing I want to be using is my head
And I’m secretly loving you with every part of my being
Wishing I could tell you this as you’re secretly fleeing
For tomorrow I will wake to an empty bed
Not knowing what to think
Because we both silently agreed nothing ever needed to be said.

You loved me back then
It seems like years ago now
I wish we could have fixed it
Unfortunately we didn’t know how
Those days I would wake up entwined in you
I could tell no difference between where my skin ended
and yours began
Back when I had a sense of security to come home to
Our love convinced us that we got along
And we often denied the obvious fact
that we were doing this all wrong
I’m sorry I manipulated and played with your heart
And you’re a ******* for cheating on me and tearing mine apart
I still miss those days where I would wake up entwined in you
Unable to distinguish your sweat from mine
My grooves matching your contours
Pressed together so tight
No matter how hard it tried
Air could not escape to take flight
And now I wake to my cold satin sheets
Warmed through the night by one body
One set of skin and sweat
For my new lover to be
I have not yet met.