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Jan 2014 · 1.0k
Hello Poetry
Madeja Stewart Jan 2014
I almost cried because someone read what I wrote
Someone understood me
And I felt this lump in my throat

Was I scared of feeling so exposed?
Or was I anxious because now anything goes?
They've gotten to see me naked
No hiding behind any smile
Would they love my words
Or think that they are vile?
Do they truly believe I am worthwhile?

Self doubt, my greatest enemy
Always a friend it pretends to be
Convincing me I'm wrong about what's right
It keeps me home on Saturday nights
It cements my walls that I build around my soul
Self doubt, I'm afraid it won't leave until I'm old  

I almost cried because someone read what I wrote
Someone understood me
And I felt this lump in my throat
Jan 2014 · 620
Untitled
Madeja Stewart Jan 2014
I gave this big speech to him about my time but really what’s the rush
In the back of my head this voice screams “YOU’RE NOT NEARLY GOOD ENOUGH”
In the front of my head I am pleasant, accepting everything as it comes
Delighting in music and dancing and doing what everyone else considers fun
In the back of my head I’m panicking and looking for some place to run
Hoping that one day somebody worthy will consider me “the one”
In the front of my head I’m simple, happy, and everything cool
Trying to make it in this big world and wandering my way around school
Here I am over-thinking like always do
I just wish I had someone to say “I love you” to
No one in particular and that’s the sad part, isn’t it.
I’m just yearning and yearning for happiness and love even if it’s just a little bit.
Jan 2014 · 800
Useful
Madeja Stewart Jan 2014
I love loving you
I love missing you
I love hating you
And I love kissing you

I love telling you that you’re the only one
I also love telling you that I’m done
I love making a difference in your life
I love hating your stupid advice

I love giving this everything I have
I love that you do things to make me mad
I love taking long walks just because
I love waking up to your ugly mug

Because even then you’re still quite beautiful
Even then I’m still not good enough
Even though I may be quite beautiful
You still don't find me very
Useful
Jan 2014 · 305
Still
Madeja Stewart Jan 2014
Love me

Because I’m scared and don’t know what else to do.

Love me

Because this should just be about me and you.

Love me*

Because nobody else will.

Love me

Because I love you

*Still.
Jan 2014 · 726
Probably
Madeja Stewart Jan 2014
I’ve probably given too many second chances.
I’ve probably waited for someone to change for too long.
I’ve probably played too many games.
I’ve probably doubted my instincts too much because I hoped I was wrong.
I’ve probably chased too many people.
I’ve probably let too many walk all over me.

But it’s okay because I’m getting better now.


Probably.
Jan 2014 · 433
Your Hands
Madeja Stewart Jan 2014
Your hands
When I think of the things they've done
When I think of the places they've been
My goodness
Your hands
When I think of the mountains they've touched
And the oceans they've swam
O Lord
Your hands
When I think of the valleys they've explored so
Delicately like fine lace
My word
Your hands
Somehow they understand that the
Journey they're on is not a race
O my
Your hands
Create a waterfall that
Flows into a stream which isn't available to all
O boy
Your hands
Walk through trees and pull
Them down until we're both full
Your hands
Those hands
*Your hands

— The End —