More than anything else,
I want love.
Not the fake love that you see in the movies,
Or in other people's "relationships."
I want to find real love.
The kind of love that only a few people are lucky enough to have.
The kind of love that makes you stop and smile randomly during your day.
I want to love,
And be loved.
I want to find that one guy,
The guy who will bring me flowers for no reason,
Make me soup when I'm sick,
Tell me that he loves me just as a reminder,
Tell me that I'm beautiful,
And he never looses a chance to be with me.
That's what I want.
Just a nice, decent guy,
Who I can fall completely,
Head over heels
In love with.

But I'm afraid that the love I want,
Doesn't really exist.
That the guy I want,
Will never come around
That all my dreams only exist in fairy tales.
But more than anything else,
I'm afraid that I will never get my chance to love.

You said you would be here forever.
Where are you now?
You said you would never leave me.
Where are you now?
You said that you would always catch me when I fell.
Where are you now?
You made promises you couldn't keep.
You said things you didn't mean.
You shattered my heart into a million pieces.
You abandoned me.
Left when I was at my most vulnerable.
Now I'm left here all alone.
You were my safety net.
But you ditched me and took off.
When you left, it hurt so bad.
I've never felt so weak,
So powerless,
So unloved.
It's all because of you.
So many unanswered questions,
I would love to know the answers to.

Why aren't you still here?
Why did you leave me?
What am I supposed to do?

But the question that pains me the most,
The one that breaks me,
Is the one I have been asking,
Ever since you disappeared.

*Where are you now?

10 years.
That's how long I've known you.
2 days.
That's how long you've known her.
I guess it was instantaneous.
You seem to have it figured out.
She's everything you've ever wanted,
Everything you've ever dreamed.
But when I hear those things,
My heart breaks,
Because I've loved you since day one,
But you never loved me back.
She is perfect.
I'm not.
She makes you happy.
I can't.
I know it's not your fault,
You can't control your feelings.
But it hurts to see how easy it is
For you to fall for her.
It makes me feel worthless.
Like I am just not good enough.
You guys are great together,
And I can see your finally happy.
But what did I do that was so wrong?
For a whole *10 years,
Your feelings never changed.
I'm just the annoying girl.
The girl who won't let go,
But it's really hard to just let go of something
You've held on to so tightly
For *10 whole years.

When we were little kids,
Those were the glory days.
We all had aspirations.
Our little hearts would speak to us,
And tell us exactly what to do.
In our little world,
Nothing was impossible.
Our day consisted of nothing more than
Laughing,
Playing,
Imagining,
And living.
We had broken arms,
Not broken hearts.
And boys weren't worth a single tear.
We could play without worry.
Live without care.
There was no such thing as evil.
And everyone learned to share.
But I've noticed as we grow up,
We loose our most important values.
We forget how to forgive.
How to treat others equally.
How to include.
How to, quite simply,
Love.
I want to go back to when I was a kid.
And stay like that forever.
As our years grow greater in number,
We take a reality check.
We realize how fast the clock is ticking,
That our days just keep getting
Fewer and fewer.
It really ***** to grow up.
No one wants responsibility or wrinkles.
But it's all just a part of life.
It's evil,
But we have to learn to deal with it.
We have to actually grow up,
And act like adults.
Transform into the boring,
Dull
Adults
We were destined to be.
There is no escaping,
This horrid fate called
"Growing up."
But I don't think I'm quite ready yet.
And I don't know if I'll ever truly be ready,
Because I will always know,
In the back of my mind,
How innocent,
How pure,
How caring,
How complete
I used to be.
I want to be young forever.

Every hour,
Of every day,
I feel timeless,
Unbeatable,
Irreplaceable.
But if I stop to think,
I know that's not true.
We all have an expiration date.
A hundred years from now,
There will be a whole new generation walking this planet.
So you may ask yourself,
What is the point?
This may seem unanswerable,
Unthinkable,
Unfathomable,
But not everything in life can be defined.
We have to discover it for ourselves.
We are put here to laugh,
To cry,
To shine,
To love,
To accomplish,
To master the impossible,
To break free of our binds,
To be successfull,
To be unique,
To build relationships,
To wonder,
To challenge our minds,
To expand our senses,
To take chances,
To waste no time,
To cherish the moment,
To be remembered,
To change lives,
To make the world a better place.
So next time you ponder:
Why am I here?
Know the answer is not far away.
You just have to examine your mind,
Search deep into your heart,
And find it for yourself.

So let me ask you,
One final time, my friend,
*Why are you here?

You're my best friend.
You know how i have felt.
You know my every weakness,
And every problem I've ever dealt.
You understand my wonders,
And listen to my dreams.
You know how I feel about life.
And know what it all means.
You give me hope,
When none can be found.
I know you got my back.
You'll always be around.
Not once have you let me down,
Or told me i was wrong.
You understand what I go through.
Please promise you'll stay long.
Because now i want to tell you,
How much you mean to me.
To have you as my bestest friend,
For as long as the eye can see: