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Maddie Lane Jul 2022
there was a light
i swear
after all these years
i could taste commitment on your tongue

it was so sweet

and fleeting

don't worry
i get it
i wouldn't choose me either

that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt
Maddie Lane Jul 2022
i want to believe in you
i swear i do
but oftentimes
the things worth believing in
are not true
Maddie Lane Jul 2022
there was a way
to apologize for my past selves,
the versions of me
that i do not wish to claim.
Maddie Lane Jun 2022
i want to stand besides you
on the shoreline
let the waves kiss our toes
think about how small we are
how deep the ocean really is
(we've no idea)

but here i am,
in brooklyn,
alone.
listening to the neighbor's smoke detector go off,
again.

and often
well, sometimes,
i find myself wondering
if i'm doing this wrong.
if i should've left the city
and returned to the oceanside town.

well.
it's too late now,
no sense in looking back.

so,
i guess i'll stay here,
listening to the city sounds.

or,

maybe,
i'll find somewhere new.

a different ocean to stand near
or
maybe,
instead,
it's a lake,
or a pond,
or another city.
maybe
it's somewhere in another country.

i've no ties to this place
(or anywhere else)
nowhere to lay claim to.
so,
i'm floating,
and
i'm free
and
it's both terrifying
and comforting
to know.
Maddie Lane May 2022
shoes thwack against concrete
can't get anywhere fast enough
don't remember the first time you said you love me
can still taste the tequila on my tongue

and i'm not really sure if it matters
you'll be gone soon
i'm sure of it

it's okay
i like to be alone sometimes
and listen to the sounds of the city
but sometimes
i hear people chatting
and
i ache to be a part of something
i find that maybe
i don't really want to be alone

and
i'm lonely
which
makes me want to wrap myself inside of your love
fill myself up on it until there's room for nothing else
but
that's not possible
and
even if it were
there's no way you'd let it happen

so
i love you
but
i feel so alone
Maddie Lane May 2022
i guess.
it's nearing summer,
and you're gone

and

i'm tired of writing about you.

i'm tired
of wondering
why people don't care

so there.
i'm done,
over it.
will only think about it
every other day
until
you finally
fade away.
Maddie Lane Apr 2022
the sun's setting
but
i don't want to turn on the lights
just want to watch the light fade from the room
windows open
listen to the low hum of life in the city
feel peace
realize
it's been a while since i've sat with myself
like this
alone
no distractions

i think
it's kind of
nice
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