You are a toddler prancing around in Mom's heels.
Swearing they fit as your feet slip and slide around them,
when will you realize there's a difference between maturing and simply acting older than you are?
When will you realize that blood usually means a certain amount of loyalty,
a certain amount of love?

We will never be more than what we once were - it's a fact for all things that have ended.
Everything is relative, it will do you good to realize that sooner rather than later.
Everything is irrelevant when you're standing on a precipice trying to decide if you should leap into the unknown or hide in the comfort of familiarity.
Things will not change unless you do something different - if you never take a step you will stand still for eternity.

that no longer hold me in their focus keep me awake late at night.
No conversation can quell the desire I have for them to look my way,
no sorcery can make them turn towards me.

Wrap your arms around me like a noose,
until I hang long enough to gladly let you take my last breath away.

I've run out of words to use to make it seem like I'm okay.
The last time you kissed me you accidentally took my smile,
when you left you forgot to give it back.

I will never run out of things to say to you,
but I ran out of chances to say them months ago.

There will never be anything big enough to fill the hole in my chest.
The one that I've lived with for so long that it feels like I was born incomplete.

There is no dam powerful enough to stop the tears that reappear in the warm months like the leaves shed by the trees in the wintertime.
There is no joke funny enough to make laughter strong enough to keep the sadness at bay.

I wonder if I will ever feel more than okay,
if I will be able to find my smile without having to see you again.

It scares me that I might not.

At least now I can walk freely,
and not tiptoe around your temper.