A smile, a touch
That is all I need for me to know you are there
That this isn't a fantasy of my dreams
That I won't wake up and cry because this isn't true
Yet I know this isn't real, you who can't love could never love me
You don't even know I exist
You wrap your arms around me and hold me tight
The smell of you is intoxicating, like a drug I need to have
This isn't real though
You don't know the things I've done, the stomach turning lies I've told
As soon as you know you will run and leave me standing broken hearted, just like I predicted
You don't go, instead you go and sit down and ask me to join you
I know this can't be real, the people I tell abandon me and you aren't
I close my eyes tight and whisper, "Wake up, wake up, wake up...."
I very slowly open my eyes to see you gone, my heart tugs a little but it's better that it isn't real
I turn around to leave the room and I run into you
Worry is filled in your eyes, your eyebrows knit together in confusion,
It takes my breath away
I need to focus, this isn't real and I need to wake up or I will be a wreck if I believe it's real and everything turns to dust and I wake up
You take my hand in yours and kiss it lightly
Interlacing our fingers and giving a tight squeeze, I realize that maybe this could be real
Suddenly as soon as I let my heart open to you, everything begins to fade
First your face, then your hands, finally everything is gone
I open my eyes to see the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling aren't glowing but dim reminders every awakening
I can still feel your hands in mine, I clench my fist, and begin to cry
Just another day, thinking that you could actually love me
But I am wrong, I am always wrong

You can't tell
You can't tell  I love you
or that my life is falling to pieces
You are the only thing that keeps me grounded
A love like this cannot be
It's unheard of
Some say disgusting
but they don't know
You don't even know though
I am alone
We accidentally brush hands
My heart stops
This moment seems to freeze
You still can't see
Will you ever?
All I can do is hope
pray and live
Waiting for the day you see
My heart says yes
My head says no
So I'll take a knee
and pray
Pray for you to know
and for you to love me back
Tears stream down my face
staining my blouse
I look up to your beautiful face
You look down to me
and in your eyes is a pit of nothingness
Your shrug is awkward
You don't know
and you never will
I never knew your heart could bring so much pain

A light is all I can see
Burning like the sun at the end of a dark hall
I am a moth drawn to such magnificence and beauty
Quickly down this dark corridor I run, but then fall
into the depths of a dark and pungent abyss
forever falling with the wind blowing through my hair like a hurricane
Thinking for sure I am to die, I begin to reminisce in my memories
So strange for a girl to have begun to live but yet filled with endless moments and tales take place within my brain
These joyous thoughts soon come to an abrupt halt as I crash into the floor
I close my eyes and open to see once more a brighter light, greater then the one before
I make haste feeling the walls and floor to reach this light which puts want and love into my heart
After much time elapsed i reach the light, with every ounce of energy i contain i reach for this mesmerizing light
tantalizing beautiful, more so than Venus herself, I take the light and depart
Only to my dismay my love begins to dwindle  and dies out and leaves me in fright.
All alone in a dark and horrifying maze, I sit and weep
I begin to sing a song that my mother used to sing when i was a child, to keep the monsters away when I was scared
,"Oh dear child, close your eyes, my arms are here to hold you close, I am always here, nothing can harm you now, just close your eyes, count your white sheep,
everything is alright
I close my eyes and keep singing, until I could be heard no more