The sky is gloomy
As if it were to rain
The trees they whisper
Like they were in pain
The wind is silent
The ground is cold
The trees sadly old from the cold
The leaves fly across the sky
Then I feel first rain drop
Now I am truly alive

The soft pages of a book, unfolding in hand,
Welcoming, and comforting,
Daring you to take the dive and drown in the story within its pages,
Crying softly at each page of their misery,
And laughing at their jokes and irony,
But then it ends,
With you still there, waiting for the next page that will never come,
But still you sit there and wonder,
Is that it?
Is that the end?

When everything burns
I will not cry
Not a single tear
For the second I was born
I was meant to die
So not a single tear
Will escape from my eyes.

Burning bridges
Stab me in the back again
Why don't you
Disappearing in a blink of an eye
But when it benefits you
You're my friend
I don't know how I got here
But I know where I am
In despair
I'm in despair
But I am not so desperate
To take your hand again

There's a hole in my heart, and I have shunned my feelings because of it, to block the pain of being slowly eaten away by it,
This deep, colorless, white hole,
Not black because black is not evil white is,
It is white for that's how empty it is,
It is a colorless void that eats away at me everyday,
And one day will consume me, wholly,
I will disappear in this hole that eats away at my heart, and what's left of my soul,
I am scared,
Not scared of my colorless fate, and eternal loneliness, I am scared that you'll be there to comfort me, and that I'll be forced to feel again.

Violet,
Blue,
And drops of red
Green and yellow a little pink
Brown and black and maybe orange
But grey will always be me

Tears on her face is a way to tell if she's sad, her frowning is
another way, too,
But what if the tears in her eyes never reach her face
What if she's smiling all the time
What if she laughs like everyone else
How do you tell then?
Look closer,
See the long sleeve shirts she wears even in the summer
See the faint bags under her eyes from crying
See how her smile never reaches her eyes
See how she keeps everyone at arms length
See how her eyes you always thought were bright and full of light have
the faint shine of tears just about to break the surface
See how she looks around to see how everyone reacts before she smiles or laughs
Do you now see she's not cold when she pulls down her sleeves
Do you now see why she likes to be alone
Do you now see why she always smiles
Of course you don't because you didn't look close enough
Before they found her in the bath tub.

Unspoken words
Cutting away inside
Silent screams and cries for help
In the darkness I hide
But where ever I go nothing can help
So I'm sorry for what I've become
Fake, Pathetic and worthless
So I'm sorry for what I've done
Cutting away the pain
The time draws closer for when I can go
Bit by bit I just want you to know
Even though I'm
Fake pathetic and worthless
Thanks for seeing me
Even though that was the fake me
You almost saved me from myself
I've cry for no one else
Yes even though it was just a dream
Even though it was the fake me
Thanks for loving me
I'm not worthy
The real me
But all these words turn to ash in my mouth for they are
Unspoken words
Cutting away my insides
Cutting away to the hope I hide
Love
I Hide it away
Hide away from the light

It feels like a broken heart
Dying dreams
The world is dark
Flames and shadows
I have no shame
What is to be lost and what to be gained
Lost in fame the world in shame
written in shadows all the pain
The window is closing, reach for me now before it's to late
Save me from myself
It's you and no one else
I want to find the reasons why
I am so empty inside
The light of the dawn is breaking  
There is no one left to save me
There is no where left to hide
Take this nothing from inside  
Try to find myself
But all I found was a stranger inside
While these long days alone pass by
I see these shadows closing in
Slowly suffocating me within
Find the light within
Dream of better days
Without sadness
Without hate
Reach for me I'm breaking
Slowly dying
Save me
But will you reach for me and save me?
Save me from her the monster
And save me from myself
All alone again
Disappearing friends
Try not to cry
But I still do
Slowly dying inside
In the dark again
I see I have no friends
I try to stop that first tear
Because of the fear that they won't stop
Like snowflakes falling down
Cause all I see is death
As I slowly drown.

Somedays I wonder
Somedays I cry
Somedays I dream of butterfly's
And some nights I dream
Some nights I don't
And in those nights
I will not float
Scary and sad
Till mornings gloom
It seems to be a dream between me and you.

The snow it falls silently,
The wind it blows quietly,
The night is cold,
My heart the same,
Thank the snow,
For numbing the pain,
Ice it forms slowly,
On the sad lonely lake,
The moon it shines brightly,
But I think it's fake,
Fake like the smile on my face,
My tired eyes they see no light,
My heart so weak and fragile like ice,
I never get cold my skin is snow,
I hate the sun, the bright happy sun,
I love the dark,
I love the new moon,
The dark moon,
So I can look into the sky,
And see nothing,
The abyss almost as empty as me,
I smile truly because,
When you look into the abyss the abyss looks into you,
And I know it see's nothing.

Snow it falls in brisk of night
A light from afar
Candles in the night
Distain bells
Eyes wide open
Burning burning bright
If only for one night
A song a song
Not silent for long
But then silent again
Silent night my friend

Take away the pain an the sorrow
Take away the happy tomorrow
It's all the same
You can't have it both ways
Take this blade take this fate
You can't escape now
It's to late
Cause all of this is your fate
Now run away if you can
Or come along it's your friend
All this is all that I can take
Caving in its way to late
For debate
This is my fate
Dreams die
In front of my eyes
But all of this it's way to late
Take it all take my fate take my pain
It's to late but I could not hear the snow flakes
Falling and falling
Falling down
Surrounding my sorrow
I'm drowning now
Were all suffocating
It all burned down
Playing the victim
I am no victim
I did not chose this
Let it all burn down
This is my fate it's way to late
Playing the victim
This is my fate
wait for tomorrow
This is my fate
It's way to late
Just
Take away the pain an the sorrow
Take away my happy tomorrow
Though I don't want the sorrow
I guess I will give my tomorrow

Though covered by heavens light
I fall out and scream in the brisk  of night
My wings spread out and take flight
I am a black bird in the brisk of night
I see nothing my black heart beats
I do not dream for nightmares creep
My black hair so thick and long it could be mistaken for the night itself
Eyes like blood but more like something else
My black heart beats with no steady beat with every lifeless breath I take I wait for it to stay
I scream in twilight's light
I scream until the brisk of night
I am a angel in twilight's light
But in the brisk of night
I am a black bird ready to take flight

In the darkness
The monsters hide
Away from judging human eyes
Away from persecution and wounded pride
In the darkness we hide
We walk with each other
But truly we are all alone
We move to place to place
Never finding home
Maybe there is no home for us
The children of the night
Maybe there is no place for us to belong to
Maybe we'll only be the only thing we have always been
The frightened creatures of the night.

Perfection is a necessary evil
but even with the ****** hand gone
her black veil still rests neatly upon her face
for her eyes remain covered reminiscing
in the darkness of her own secret sin
he sees this flaw, this empty husk of a woman
Death
still freshly pressed against her lips, stealing her last breath
she will never awake
he still sees her secret sin
if either man had achieved a profounder wisdom
they might not have flung away their happiness
for the pursuit of purity or science
yet quietly they craved the things so swiftly tugged away from their grasp
a sin still stains the hidden face of man
an indelible mark upon both the afflicted faces
so aged from bitter greed
wanting
needing
Perfection
Still grasping in the time of defeat
so prominent on the face of the man who shows his veil with cloth
with creepy crepe
“Have men avoided me, and women shown no pity...!”
The man cried
The girl Georgiana whispers of her impending mortality
while Parson Hooper rages into the dying light
with quiet longing the mister wanted to be seen
with the black veil married to his face
he accepted it- why could he, the scientist, not,
he still hides
dying for the sake of perfection
and living for the sake of hiding
Grasping at what could never be done
To rip the veil from upon her face
The ****** hand now gone,
He still craved more,
As their eyes close reminiscing in the darkness of their own secret sin,
The hands of all still,
Grasping at the veil,
To see the shame underneath.

Gravity weighs on me,
Pulling me down,
And why I look above me, is to not look at the ground,
My dreams are scattered ashes,
My heart, it weighs me down,
It's the heaviest thing on me,
And it pulls me to the ground,
My hopes are breaths of fresh air,
But there isn't that much around,
And sometimes I think, "what's up there?"
Sadly I'll never find out,
These word you put on my shoulders weigh me down,
Pretty,
Smart,
Wonderful,
Loving,
They expect me to live up to this, but how to do that when they weigh me down?
With these words, this heart and gravity weighing me down,
How am not in the ground?

Let it burn
Let it scorn the earth
Bringing hades fire with it
Let it walk among us
Let it be told
Fear, lies and hate
Let my tears run down into the emptiness
The nothingness of man
A void that can't be filled
The hollow insides of man    
A cold empty wanting
That cannot be whole again

Silent snowfall in the darkness one calls night
Bells ringing softly in the distance
Delight
The pattering of new snow against the window
Crackling of fire in the fireplace
Lights of red and green taking turns flashing on the tree that fills
the house with the crisp smell of pine needles
Merry Christmas.

I am a victim of life,
Of tragic love,
Of hateful words that form in your mouth,
I am a victim of war,
Of sickness,
And death,
I am a victim of your love,
Of my love too,
I am a victim of all these things, and I deserve them too, but don't pity me, for you're a victim too.

I am your friend,
I am your enemy,
I am your protector,
I am your attacker,
I tell you what you want to hear,
Then I tell you what you need to hear,
You put me in your heart then you push me away,
But do you see, you do that to me?
And all those around you,
You dream of me,
And talk to me,
You some how hold me,
You are my master,
And also my love,
But we can never be together,
Because,
You created me,
I am everything you want and everything you need,
I am your friend,
Your enemy,
Your protector,
Your attacker,
Your lover,
But we can never be together,
For I am you.

In the rainforest where none can see I wander and wait for thee
I shall not tell how I got to thee
For it is frightful
The journey for me  
I am the wanderer the shadow the dark
The night runs cold my tears are silver  in the moonlight
I did not reach thee I did not see ones face
I wonder will my journey end
Will I find thee or will I just wander through day an night with sleepless eyes with no light
Will I reach thee
Or is this the end
Is this the end my friend
I did not reach thee
I did not stay
I went and got away
I did not reach thee
I did not say
'Do you love me do you feel this way '
Why didn't I say it why didn't I tell  
I did not reach thee
I must fade so now I say
I did not reach thee I hope you find me
I hope you know that I tried but
I did not reach thee
I hope you see
I did not reach thee love I did not reach.    

(Did you reach for me)

The room is dark
I hear nothing
But the sound of my own breathing
I am alone am I  
The light of the candle
Flickering with each breath
Shows me a shadow
My shadow?
I am alone am I
The shadow on the wall is not my own
The room is dark
I can't see my hands
I think to myself is that my shadow or am I the shadow?
Oh black winged creature why do you haunt me.

I have issues,
Lots of them,
I could fill a library with my issues,
My problems,
And self-loathing.
Whole buckets full of issues.
Like nails driven into my skin I can't quite get out,
I try to fix myself,
To find the things I lack and lost along the way,
But I find myself breaking even more,
Like a porcelain doll.
I feel like a liar,
Smiling like this in your face,
While I go bring pain upon myself by crushing the hopes and dreams I struggled to hang onto.
I've forgotten myself somewhere in the darkness,
And can't get out.
My sadness is only temporary,
It happens when I'm alone,
I put my mask on,
And take it off when I go home.
But my mask is fading fast,
Pealing away to reveal the things I lack,
As people get close to me,
I push them away,
The people I do keep close in mind,
I tell them all the time,
Of my issues,
And my hurting,
And they get bored of me and leave,
They don't want a basket-case,
A whiny little girl,
A problematic teen,
A pity party indeed,
When I do learn how to trust you,
I'll come to you with all my problems,
But soon enough you'll give up on me because you don't know how to solve them.
My issues are like chains,
And life is like water,
The more I struggle  with these issues,
The faster I sink into the water,
Drowning.
Suffocating.
I don't want people to treat me different,
I don't them to try to fix me,
Because I'm a lost case.
I just want some friends to talk to,
Not to tell me what to do.
I don't you to try fix me,
Or cry over me,
Just go.
I don't want pity,
I don't want your pity,
I don't want anyone's pity,
I pity myself enough,
And hate myself too,
I've hurt myself worse than anyone ever could,
Worse than you.
I just want to keep my scars safely hidden away,
To push my issues so far beneath my skin,
You can no long see them,
And you and I both win,
I don't get pitied,
And you think you fixed me,
See?
isn't everyone happy.
But the problem is my mask it fades,
My issues are resurfacing,
And you can see everything that's wrong with me,
I try to pick the nails out of my skin, but more get jabbed in.
I'm too tired,
I can't sleep.
I'm too mad,
I can't eat.
I'm so happy.
...I feel sad.
So sad this happiness can't last forever,
But this sadness...
This sadness will last forever,
These wounds will never heal,
These scars will never quite fade,
I'll never learn to feel,
Happy,
Is word,
I never quite learned,
My dictionary is limited,
By me,
And my melancholy.
I can tell you words like,
Sadness,
And apathy.
I can tell you words like,
Ugliness,
And stupidity.
I can tell you words like,
Anger,
And rage.
But the word I'm most familiar with is
Melancholy,
Melancholy is me,
Issue are me,
I am made up of lies, melancholy and issues,
I have so many problems I don't know who I am!
Who am I?
This happy girl?
This sad one?
This mean girl?
This evil one?
This liar?
This quiet one?
Who is the real me?
Who are these people I try to be?
Which one do you see?
Which one do I portray to be?
Which one is the true me?
I have problems,
I have fears,
I have issues,
Like nails in my skin.
... Sometimes I don't think it's melancholy...
I think it's something worse,
Something that people know as the d word,
Something that you don't say,
Something that can get you on medication,
Something far more sinister than any old melancholy...
Do I dare say it?
What I think I have?
Yes...
I think have depression.
.... I have depression.
Sad.

We have built this kingdom of lies with our bare now ****** hands and we shall die in this kingdom of lies for this is where we belong, with our dirtied and pitiful lives, we are but monsters waiting to die.

Why is life so hard,
For one to comprehend,
Though life has three meanings,
War, hate and sin,
Life has no loving,
At least not for me,
Heartache and lifelessness is all that waits for me.

You set your sights for thy sea
The breeze cold I wait for thee
Not a word no good bye
Tis my heart beats for thy
Though I hoped I could reach thy hand out to thee
I see now you do not wait for me
Tis maybe we are to far apart for me to reach thee
I still want to know did you love me
Drown in pitiful sorrow my love
Stomp out this flame with your words of hate
Tis bound to destiny
We are
Fate
Dream of all that is still
For that is all that can ****
Dream of love that is still
Not ours to keep so
Drown an
Sleep

I've seen so much,  
I've seen to much
And from the look of it
It has ruined me
Don't touch me I'll break
Don't touch me I'm fake
I've seen things
Frighten things
The things that hide in the deepest corners of your mind
To much noise
To many thoughts
To much pain
To many memories
Oh how to keep my sanity
I've seen butterflies and angels wings get torn off
I've seen deaths face there was nothing there
I wanted to put my hand in his hood and see if something was there
But I feared that when I would take my hand out nothing would be there
You cannot hurt me
For I've seen to much
In the places that I hide there is nothing much
No color
No noise
No light
Only pain and anger
I hate the way my tears taste how they run down my face
I feel nothing I'm shell of a person that once was here
If you want to see me
You cannot theres nothing there
If you want to hear me
There's only echo's in my head
And if you want to reach
To late I've fallen off the edge.

There is no one left to save me
There is no where left to hide
There are no more friends I can rely on
As I slowly die
There are no more dreams being dreamt for me
There are no more tears being shed for me
There is no more love in this world left for me to have
There is no one here to love me
There is no hope for me
I will die alone
In this world where nothing is born that will not die
I have nothing to live for
So why should I cry?

He slept alone
But not quite
He slept with death
That night
He kissed darkness
And gave his blood
To creatures
Monsters
Predators of the dark
But he was happy
Kissing darkness
Looking into death's beautiful eyes
They found him dead in the morning
And they don't know why
Only the night knew the tale
And she was unwilling to tell
The sad story of the lonely man, and the life ******* vampire that visited that the night.

I feel nothing
I breathe nothing
I see nothing at all
I taste nothing
I love nothing
I bring nor bless nor hear
Nothing
Nothing at all
I can't love nor touch you
You realize
I realize  
I am nothing

With these wounds, I will not heal
With this pain, I'm left to feel
Are these words echoing inside my mind, untrue?
Oh, my tears they will not cease
All my hopes abandon me
Could I not see through the lies that you said to me?
With this blade
I take this fate
Now I won't have to face
All the pain
All the hate
All my memories
They are all lies
Why did I have to find
That you lied
To me
Betrayal
So bitter sweet to me
I feel
Cold
With these wounds, I will not heal
With this pain, I'm left to feel
All these words echoing inside my mind, are untrue
Oh, my tears they will not cease
All my hopes abandon me
You betrayed me
You used me
Abused my trust and now
I am
So done
With you.

Poems that's what we call them
But really their bits and pieces of our pain and suffering
Our grief and agony
Our love and sorrow
Our hate
They are a way to call out
to scream I'm hurting
But all they say is 'wow that's pretty'
No that's not what I needed to hear
My poems are not pretty
They're my pain and agony
Poems that's what we call them
But for me it's a way to call out
To scream help me.

Sometimes I don't want to get better
And sometimes I don't wanna live at all
And sometimes I get angry and start hitting my head against the wall
I don't know what to do
He hates me

I stand alone I am alone
But the shadow is not my own
I am alone I stand alone
The shadow on
The wall
A written dream
Can seem to be
Just a shadow on the wall
Beaconing to you from me and to all who can see
Do you see the shadow of me
purposely it is from me it can only be
Shadow poetry
Lingering
In the words I speak
And it hurts you see  I can only be the
Shadow on the wall
And in the night
I am hidden to thee
For you cannot see me
I am just
A shadow on
The wall

The trees they die before my eyes
They burn to ash
The grass is green no longer
The smell of death lurks in the air
They try so hard to **** an ****
The birds they sing no longer the sky looks deep the clouds of grey they wander with smoke they wander away
The water looks black an cold beneath
the water Looks dead an still
The flowers they wilt at the smell
death comes slowly its fiery touch kills it dead
Death closes its fingers around it
the moon tries not to come up to see the death that lays upon the ground
but it does the night comes and the moon shuns the ground no light no life no sound on the ground there is one thing
Death and death alone
No light
No life
No sound.

Take my hand
Take a break
Take this blade
Take this fate
All in hand
I have run
I will not be silenced
In this light
We will fight
'Til the end of this night
Come along  
'Til the dawn
I will not fall along
this path that we run
Calling all shattered ones
We might be all broken
Rejecting our own hearts
I will run
I will jump
Calling all shattered ones
I might be all broken
But I will not be silence
I can run
You can jump
We can ride through this bump
You an I we're all broken
Rejecting our hearts
Will I cry
Yes I will
Will you try
Yes you will
Can we die from the thrill
Just wait for silence
I can call
You can fall
We can fly to the wall
I can have it all broken
Drowning in silence
At first I could fly right back to the sky
At first we could lie and wait for silence
To die.

With steady hand
And watchful eye
Create what's in your mind
Fly
Be free
Go with it, your tool
Don't be a fool
What you create is yours
No one else's
So don't let them tell you it's ugly
Don't change for them
Be you
Be free
Create art
Be the artist you know you are
Be free and draw

He comes for me
His eyes like the ocean below
And the sky above
He comes for me
A smile as bright as the sun and
Armor as bright as dawn itself
He comes for me
His hair a wheat color they say
He comes for me
If I climb in the dark for him
Will he wait in the stars for me my knight
I dream of the day he comes for me
At gracious speeds he may  
I dream of the day he comes for me
And says I have come for thee
Each passing day I wait in suspense
Will he come for me then
I see a thing in the distance
Has he come for me
He gathers closer I see his eyes as the sun cases him
A pricing blue I shall not forget
His hair a blonde no more than white
He looks at me
Is this my knight
His hair is right his eyes are blue he is in white he has the steed as black as the night
Then he turns away
And just as fast as he came
He disappears and never seen again
I slowly fill with sadness
With fear and frightful thoughts
He comes for me I know it
I wait silently
He comes
He comes for me
My knight.

I am nothing
I look into the mirror
I see a monster in the mirror
I am empty there is nothing left
I hate the monster in the mirror
I have a void
I smash the mirror
To **** the monster
Then suddenly I feel nothing
I look down and see
That the monster is me
I am nothing

Who am I what am I meant to be  
Such wild things of course
That part of me is nature but
What am I meant to be
I could pretend to be things that wander wither and die
Or the things that see and are alive
I sit alone with leafs falling upon me
Some red some orange some even black
Would I want to be a leaf
I sit on grass and wonder
Why grass yellows wilts and dies
Then come summer and is alive
Would I want to be the grass
A tree a tree maybe
It does not die nor does it see
Would I want to be a tree
An animal maybe a wolf or a coyote
Would I like to be a bird
A red robin or a black bird
I can pretend to be almost any thing
But what am I a wanderer a pretender
A human a beast a flower with out a bloom
Or am I just a pretender
That can be almost anything
Then I know just what I am
I am the pretender of the land

Over the years
They're all gone
One by one
They disappear
Till I was alone
All alone
Their smiling faces
Gone I'm all alone
Laughter
Gone I'm all alone
I see the pictures we all took
From one to the next
They disappeared
Till I was alone
All alone  
Gone
Till I was alone

All is wrong in the world
Only ash remains
Cold from winters past
All is in a flame
Burning burning past
Books and everything
Smoke and ash it flies
The past it never dies

You,
Yes you,
Are beautiful,
Do you not see you are beautiful?
On inside and out,
Do you not feel you are beautiful?
Though you have a beautiful brain and a beautiful heart,
A shattered surface,
So imperfect,
Is that all that you can see?
Must I tell you what I see?
I think I must,
Please see,
That,
Your voice and laugh are beautiful making everyone around you happy for no reason other than it's you,
Your heart and mind are perfection in highest form always knowing to help and protect,
Your wits and guts,
Your bravery,
Your loving nature,
You,
Yes you,
Are beautiful,
So please don't forget,
You are beautiful,
If not to anyone else you are beautiful to me.