We keep going backwards.
Nostalgic.
About something we
                                                                        never
                                                                even
                                                   had.

I wish I could offer you more than a decent cover
Or show you the self made universe inscribed in my soul
But I am not the same as I once was
I am the closed book on the top shelf
Collecting dust in the darkness
Too afraid to open in fear of tearing a page
After having a complete chapter ripped from my spine

I look back and remember how beautiful I thought you were.

Every scar, every flaw, all of the things you hated about yourself were equivalent to a tropic sunset in my eyes.

I think about the way my heart ached for you, how badly I wanted you to be okay and the way you struggled to fight off your demons every day.

And every time you fell to the ground, I was right there picking up the pieces of your broken hope.

I put you back together every time.

And I remember you telling me that you were nothing without me. That you and I were infinite. Forever.

But if I'm counting correctly,

It's been exactly 117 days since we've said a single word to each other.

I think of you in the darkest moments of the night

When both the sun and moon have heavy lids

And mine too should be weighing down upon my sight

Yet all I see is you

Poetry is like an intimate lover

Touching you in places you only allowed yourself to see

It stirs deep rooted emotion

And like a true lover, places you face to face with the feelings you’ve buried so deeply

I miss the way you would kiss me with your words
And glue my fragmented heart back together with sweet lines of poetry, each time I felt it crumbling to pieces
I long for the days when I’d see my future reflecting off of your hazel brown irises
And the way they caressed my flaws with the softest glances of compassion
And just know that if I could burn any memory into the depths of my fracture-lined heart
It would be the first time you whispered those three beautiful words into my ear