Today
he asked me where god was
when we were talking about space
and I told him I didn't know
and I hope that satisfied him

Tomorrow
he is going to ask me where god was
when his flowers died
and I'll tell him it's in the dying leaves
and I hope that will stop his tears

I hope everything stops his tears

I'm a rubber band
stretching and snapping
not with bad intentions, just making sounds to fill the space

I'm a rubber band
limp and strong at the same time
hidden strength beneath beige wings

I'm a rubber band
breaking sometimes,

breaking

up

at night my door opens and closes with the wind
letting the light from the hallway flood in
for a moment
my little cat blinking its absinthe eyes with every inhale
and the shiny bulbs flashing with every exhale
a lighthouse on the coast of my dreams

street lamps out
construction lights like fireflies
orange and intermittent with their crossed eyes
blinking curiously in defiance
an orchestra in motion

do you think they're whispering?

Houses breathing and screens wavering
trees like lungs
oxygen in and out
shaking

the wind
it's raining so loud in here
so loud my stomach hurts
And my ears ring
And my hands shake

it's quiet now.

I could live a life through music
sitting in a room
feeling my emotions draining through the strings of a guitar

I could live a life through music
never step outside
forget to breathe
imagining a world without it

I could live a life through music
lifted and crushed
but none of it would be enough
I'm so tired now

I could live a life through music
but it wouldn't be long
too quickly I'd waste away
frozen fingers on guitar strings
a melody stuck in my throat
because the exodus would drown me

Sometimes I live my life through music
because I am too sad
and the life I create is short and beautiful

Sometimes I live my life through music
and it makes me mad
because I cannot live my life as perfectly
as I do
through music

It's been awhile
since this toothache

It's been awhile
since we fought

It's been awhile
since we talked

It's been awhile
since this toothache

You're my toothache
too sweet for my life

You're my life
too dire and precious to keep close

It's been awhile

It's been awhile.

a boy sitting in an attic
waiting for his brothers
sweltering in the summer

a teenager standing in an attic
smoking a cigarette
staring out the circular window

an adult pacing in an attic
a bottle of alcohol emptied into the sink
chips in hand and tears in eyes

an old man sitting in an attic
waiting for his brothers
sweltering in the summer

watching the days that have already passed

I fell in love like wave crashing
Inevitable and tumbling
Worried I'd be swallowed up.
I broke up like the eye of the hurricane
Not by choice and filled with silence

I fell in love again
This time like soft grains of rice falling into a paper bag
Soft and quiet
It ended as softly as it began
Lying on a carpet staring at a ceiling fan

I fell in love a third time
This time like the first
But this time the storm raged and left it's mark and in its place it grew

The most beautiful life

Icicles melt like raindrops
outside of the window
turned golden by the rain
shiny like little suns

Icicles melt so fast
one season fading into another
soon time will have passed

I wear my mother's shoes
and I feel my legs
strong
like hers
I see her dreams under the soles
Our feet take on different shapes
the depressions in her heels
digging in
steadfast, stubborn
I dig in front
tip toeing
stumbling, trembling
the creases in the leather
match the smile lines on my mother's face
well worn

May pushes us in
with misty hands and lemonade

June ignites nostalgia
with peach juice and silver rings

July brings illumination
with thistles and tenderness

August contemplates change
with humid hands and rain

When I'm with you
its like the roof of my house is being repaired
the knocks on my doors
a hammer on my house

It's annoying but the intentions are good

When I'm with you
I want to protest
I want my voice to color the streets
and hear the voices of the priests and preachers
a fist in the air
steeple in my heart

I'm tired now

When I'm with you
I don't want to write anymore
the seas of my mind are calmed
the fog can roll in
and the little boats can safely come to shore

I feel my eyes light up
like lights on little boats
like hammers on houses
like steeples and slumber