That’s exactly what I am.
I’ll always mess everything up
And somehow get us in a jam.
The lies, the secrets told,
The annoyances and cruel words,
That I know are getting old.
Everything I do is wrong.
But you let it go
And move on.
I don’t deserve to be your friend.
I should shut up
And just let the friendship end.

Sitting in the silence,
Or in the white noise of another’s voice,
A whirlwind comes upon you.
It twists your every thought beyond recognition
And lights a fire in your mind.
It melts each idea,
Each dream,
Every good thought left.
Until you’re lost in a maze of evil.
Your worst nightmare.
When blackness is all you hear and all you see,
Blackness is what you become.
Each person adds to it until
You want to complain,
But cannot explain.
So you wear your mask
And hide your feelings
And go on with your everyday life
In a lie for the consequences
That are not worth the Truth.

I tell you all that I can handle it
And so your secrets you tell.
You’ll never know that
You’re creating my own personal hell.

Of course you’re not to blame.
I’m the one lying.
But how could you never notice
That I’m also dying.

I know I don’t always share my problems
Or talk about the pain,
But there are many things I cannot say.
So I keep them in my brain.

Someday I wish I could explain
The empathy that hurts so bad,
The stomach aches and watering eyes,
That come even though I’m not sad.

I feel what you feel
Though I don’t understand why.
The emotion takes over,
But these are not my tears to cry.

Don’t think you shouldn’t tell me,
Because I’d rather know than not.
Just remember that your pain can hurt more than just you
And please give my feelings a second thought

Let’s act like nothing’s wrong
And just sit here and sing along
With the birds who have no song.
They’ll keep silent each day
‘Till we all fade away
Into the cold and bitter gray
Of the abyss that will encase us
With smiles plastered on our faces.
And our pain we will hide
But we’ll be screaming inside.

We need someone to look into our eyes,
To see our hollow hello’s and goodbye’s
And say that our mouths are full of lies.
We’ll deny every word
But deep down know our cries have been heard.
Maybe we’ll feel like they care,
If they continue to be there.
Because of them we’ll exist for another hour
Although we feel like jumping out of a tower.
And though their conclusions have been drawn,
We’ll be gone.

I see that you finally got it through your head,
But I’m already dead