Do we watch

As the final living flower

Sheds its blossom

All true life

Just outside our grasp

Stood shivering

In Midwestern bones

Don't you know

God's beneath the pavement

The Living Spirit aches

beneath our feet

The Endless Hunger

Gnaws emptily at our shoulder

We turn away

Into the next seduction

I've seen children disappearing

Melting back into their mothers

Dissolving before fathers

Grandfather's back broken

To satisfy them all

Eclipsed by new sorrow

Bright as shattered glass

Don't you feel the worlds shudder?

The host is tired

He wants to rest eternally

While we all

Write The Question

We never ask

Nobody knows why

All our children are sick

Give me room
Bring me forward
I require all of you & none of myself
Your letters disappeared
Somehow vanished
Just as love may vanish over years
pushed off among the faithful
squandered at my folly
How I long to know you
truly & unimagined
As you are
For yourself and not for me
though
sculpted by my love
Please remain
As I try to change

All the warm pleasure shared between us
in moments common
& as you think of me
I wonder of you still
How do you feel now?
What do you wonder of me?
While you must know
or at least intuit
I am lost in my own madness
& worldview
yet still see you as beloved
Perfect in your incompleteness
Aware of the possibilities
of achieving understanding
Easing me through gentle riddles
suffering High School & bad relationships
drunkenness & revelations

Though winking some would say sinking in sullen shambles
I'm soaring high charisma over well-strung words
Now shying backward into corners covered
Words arrange themselves on windows high & scatter outward
Some real potent **** -- a vague longing to be hurt
to be ****** fully and feel nothing
Tomorrow's roadshow is today's practice
I never believed anything
Now I struggle to convince impossible members
We arrange ourselves in imaginary vision
No one is who they think they are
& Even less is what they say
If I could truly expres
We'd all be painted pictures

In twilight imagined
all possibilities
peaceful dreams
In truth, we are slumbering gods
waiting/wishing to be woken
the incantation spoken
We've known it all along
It just came out all wrong
Soon to face it true
and asking: who are you?
It does not matter

Nights and days and inward sunlit rooms
strange drugs and waking dreams
boundaries dissolve and burial mound moans
stomach knots unsure of what
whatever rises unknown & uncontrollable
out of nothing, everything
the everlasting, ever-loving mystery of all
the laughing hard-on
the eternal throbbing pulse of form
the formless energy made visible
mad for something; anything
an indication of reality, touch, grass
now fearful apprehension
now dreadful uncertainties
though all is uncertainly seen in light
a mirror image of itself
a lonely inching tendril
full of blind life
unknowable & unknowing
crouched w/ a sullen, risen fist
a hermit content to rule a room
w/ no designs upon anything
wishing only for solitude & asylum of the mind
weary from amazement & blind fear of endless mysterium
the lunatic lottery man approaches
full of glee for the luck I bring him
his fingers ***** from scratching endlessly
rosary sadly dangles
crisp bills & nothing really to say
please win it, please lose it
win it lose it win it lose it
are you a holy man? A religious man?
is your god a hallucination?
are you God Himself?
imposed upon a hard-tiled world?
Grandma died staring at a clock
time mocks the dying
& I waste the day with precious *******
habit boiled pure addiction
wonder why confused or sad
never working for real life pulse
pathetic in my chimp grunt
made a real mess didnee?
ooh wy? ooh wy? ooo wy?
now the regrettable loathing
with bright glimmer
now the sad carnival
all my heroes are angels
& all my angels have died
where has that illusive smirk gone?
the final blossom nothing

alone
cold November
looking ******* anonymously

serotonin depleted
hours go as myself -- why not?

pleasing things
used relationship -- wanted ***
desire
supreme union

*** is all
of life
enmeshed forms
penetrate ******

there is nothing
eyes entering one another
nothing more

everything
unable to cut off
so follows the *******
so-called unnatural containers

natural pervert
let it be simple
It's the world
no better
confusion

convoluted nonsense
shoulders of an older age
inhibit our natural blossom
there is work I have prepared

creature flesh and circuitry
pleasuring it's lights
like fireworks of ****** intent
vines creep thighs

apes grunt -- ****** into the jungle
tigers mount
stars operate strange new images
life beckons fungus
devouring bombs
skeletons locked in copulation
boys sit
park & touch
condense into infinite arousal
shadow history
confrontation nature

you may not my body
they not your history
I am not yourself

no words express truth

simple realization most difficult

dead myths

wipe *** on brick

bottle of wine
glass of beer
golden halo, dream, hat, shoe
a puddle of ***** on my belly
endless marijuana and diction
handfuls of disappearing money

born into the screaming hospital
in the grass of a carpet
nothing to do with it
a concept, an idea
a drunken slur
misplaced affection
a hand, a breast, a mouth
in a car, a bed, a bathroom

elaborate play
that's all

Is he being serious?

I can't tell

Am I being serious?

I'm not sure

feeling on the brink of something

am I dying?

is this what it's like to die?

I had a lot of good words to say

they were going to come out like a sickly ball of ectoplasm

like a desperate clawing scream up from the floor

but now I don't know what they were

everything I consume is somehow related to who I am as a person

I've spent a lifetime

modeling myself after words, images, phrases, sounds

they are like little helpers

but they are not me

"don't be afraid to care"

"what did you see while you were there?"

I am bursting with joy

I want to laugh, dance, be free to love

my love is all ******* right now

it's all I know

the moon & sky so beautiful this strange winter

deadly sunsets and snow

crystalline space and stars

"how does it feeeeel?"

he asks & rolls over drunk, uncaring

I slipped her something mid-conversation

what was it?: a hint, a look, an eye?

I don't even know really

Was I being myself or not?

"the joke is come upon me"

at last, the irony is concrete

hilariously, beautifully tragic

& yet not at all; more like a lighthearted pun

"we all shine on, like the moon & the stars & the sun"

why & how did it become so difficult?

this is the struggle of every man

this is not my father's insanity, nor his father's