When the soft Knoxville summer
Slips it’s way over the Smokies
Ghosts through Gatlinburg
And passes Pigeon Forge
We opened all the windows
And made love in the mist.
I jumped into a gorge
Naked and full of expectation
Washing the sweat that
Only conquering mountains
Can conjure.
I erupted from the water
New and fresh and clean.
While sullen hazel eyes
Watched water drops
Trace down my *******
A siren drying in the sun
On the rocks.
The trees were dying
White and blanched
In Everest emerald green
While the mountains cast shadows.
My love for you much the same
As the quick moving summer.
A lifetime turns into a blink.
Your body pulsates on a rock
Next to the wild Obed
And you are just as untamed.
You had a past you never mentioned
But always remembered
And a father who forgot you.
I collect stones from the riverside
And dream of you being happy.
I lay in a bed of purple honeysuckles
On a mountain bald
And share a bottle of bourbon
With a man hiking
the Appalachian trail.
He tells me he is
Almost famous
And I laugh at the word “almost.”
He plays the trumpet
And moves souls
With every utterance of his lungs.
He continues on the trail
And I never see him again.
We get late night ice cream
And my cotton shirt sticks to me
In overwhelming humidity
And suffocating heat
But I am laughing
And hanging out the car window
Through winding roads
and wild thorns
And summer has ended
And so have we.

Apollo always forces Diana to rest,
and she only shines with his permission.
Mistakes look brighter in the daylight
and in the rearview mirror.
The grass is wet as I dissipate into the night.
Guarded by the goddess
and discretion.
I sleepily drive back home,
because I'm no longer welcome
in yours.
Being a stranger
is all I wanted, after all.

The bar light shines
on a woman trying to be beautiful
with the rehearsed demure
of silent film.

It creates a wreath
the color of movie popcorn
and grandma's kitchen paint.

Only one thing burns
as much as the bourbon
As an indifferent patron
spins a ring
on their finger.

A raucous group of old friends
play their favorite song
for the whole bar to hear
of their happiness.
It moves me for but a second.

But I slink against the wall
for safety and comfort.
I am out of place
with no passport
in this foreign land.

My face doesn't match
the way I painted it
and I am a cheap joke.

I grasp at whatever straws
the universe drops before me
and they always come up
the short one.

I think I would rather
you try to hurt me
then to forget me.

I'd rather you stab me in the back
than turn yours.
Perhaps masochism
is the greatest love of all.

trying to find the answer,
to the universe,
when it is not a question.

trying to find peace,
solace and purpose,
but finding distraction.

trying to love
the self-loathing
and bold narcissists

trying to find god
in the fine powder
of a street chemist.

trying to find comfort
in hard people,
but finding indifference.

trying to find words
out of turned backs
and stoic silence.

trying to find the way back
when I never
even departed.

trying to find courage
and finding only,
the faint-hearted.

trying to tell the truth
when someone only asked
for a dare.

trying to find a god,
who may or may not
even be there.

And although most days
I find myself deep
in sorrow and mourning,

I would not barter one second,
trade one moment,
for anything.

The vindication of violation,
is etched in our ecstasy.
The insatiable invitation
Looks on longingly,
to be accepted with no exceptions.

Twilight tinctures transforms
to mild midnight musk
by anatomical alchemy warm
In the dark discord of dusk
Our communion is calculated.

Only hedonistic heat
can melt the polite pretense,
Our dialogue is discrete
Left in static suspense.
I dissolve into your delirium.

The intimate impalement
gives way to grotesque gratification
To cure the ancient ailment.
We ignore the implications
Of this meeting meaning more.

As I ride to robust rhythm
My ****** is chaotic
Our communion is christened
in a cry exhausted and ******.
The vulnerability is voided.

Sanguine sighs give way to
Languor in sated lust.
Sweat drops like dew
Upon my breathing bust.
The distance develops once more.

Susceptible to supple pleasures
and carnal desires.
I should be home writing and yet
I try to find my pen and paper in the night.
Ending up in the back of a van,
while hands dig around for kratom
and mouths dig around for justification.
There are so many balloons in here,
I thought it was a party.

A man tilts his head back salivating
and yet I feel unworthy of his presence.
Why did I want to be kissed?
I remember the grabbing,
pulling, biting, panting,
but never did his lips graze mine.
And yet in the ruddy afterglow,
I thought he loved my words too.

A girl spells out her dreams in ink,
her hand moving like it means to catch something
on the tension of water
and I wonder if she ever will.

I find myself sober,
and yet envy the drunk.
We each believe the other,
is not living life.
What evidence do I have,
that I am  not wrong?

Every day is Halloween,
when you recognize the costumes.

Why did my pen and paper lead me here?

I went home and collapsed in dreamless slumber.
I awoke to mascara running and lipstick stains,
a reminder that my job is to be a comedian
for the universe's cosmic giggle.
I reach inside myself for the divine,
but find tacks and taciturn excuses.

I slept for an hour but wept for a day.

Is coping the new
celebration?

The rain drops drizzling
On the aluminum awning
Reminds me of the way your hands
Would gracefully tease piano keys
And make the most beautiful sound.
A man so kind he makes heartbreak
Taste like honey and settle the same way
On your tongue,
A sweetness savored,
from a sour savior.
I sort stale feelings like recyclables,
But can’t bring myself to throw anything away.
The way your floor is littered with pens and pennies,
Makes me think of how when you arrive home,
You empty the day and your pockets onto the ground
In a most imperfect fashion
When you are alone.
A crack in the mask
And a chasm in façade.
I deserve you,
Whether that is as a consequence
Or reward,
I will never know
For so bittersweet it has been to know you.