*******.
Seriously,
I'd love to.

I mean, I thought things had changed
I thought we were friends
But the minute I saw you twirling your hair,
Fixing what I never thought was broken
****.

I don't even want lust,
I want you.

You

Always

I know things have changed in your eyes
Breaking up,
Without a relationship
We are not together,
We never were.

Can you stay here forever?
I don't want to let go of
Your
Picture
Your
Face

"I sound like a teenager."
She said reading her own
Work
That goes both ways now,
Both ways

Slim regrets and
Fatal forget-me-nots
I like to write what
Sounds thought provoking
However, much like
the wizard of Oz,
My secret is my lack of power
Behind the veil you find
A man
No different from any other
In fact, my life is no tragedy:
I still have a father and mother.

So what am I, really?
A sham, a fake, a crock?
Fact is I am a man
Who can find a word
That rhymes with sock.

I await a slip of paper
Foretelling of my death
I await a slip of paper,
For I've not received it yet.

I've staved my curiosity,
Like a tiger in a cage
However, eventually
Tigers want to eat,
To hunt,
To be satiated
And so does my curiosity.

Though morbid,
Though vague,
I wish to know my end
By fire,
By age,
By disease
or by vehicle?

Vague enough to open questions,
Concrete enough to give me something
I want to know
How I'll die.

The reaper with his crystal ball
Stares
With no eyes
From the faded machine
A hand reaching from the coin
Slot
Reaching to shake mine
"Congratulations, you've paid
the piper, child."
The reaper says,
But only in my day dreams

I want to know my death,
Wow, this takes forever,
I've paid the toll,
I've done what's necessary!
Why is there no paper in my hand!

Wait, I hear printing!
My heart, is sprinting in my chest!
Oh dear heaven above!
I get to know my death, God!
You can't hide it from me forever!

The slip of paper finishes through the machine
Printed, it spits out at me.
I take it, gingerly, excited all the while
To know my death, oh death machine,
Will make me smile.
I stare at it, giving great diligence
To find that I'll die by...

Patience

Depression made me want to not wake up.

Love?
Ridiculous, I don't feel it.

Care?
Is it there? What's it feel like?

Numbness?
There we go, I feel that.
But
Can you feel numbness
Or does it enfold you?
Engulf you?
A true darkness, makes your rose colored shades
Far darker
Remember all the things you loved to do?
You don't, with these lenses.
Remember all your loved ones?
Remember the feelings you had for them?
Had.
Welcome to depression, son.
***** doesn't it. You want out,
You want to bail this ship,
Swim outside the darkness,
But it engulfs, and refuses to
Let you swim away.
The Kraken of emotional duress.

Just wait for someone who's a better swimmer,
Find someone with a brighter light,
I had to.
Apparently I didn't know how to swim.

Dear convictions,
Lose me friends
I knew it'd happen, truly

Let us face it,
We are all terrified of this

I say this over
and over
and over
and over and over
and over
and over
I've said it over
and over
and over
and over
and over
I'll say it over
and over
and over
and over
and over:
I consistently
disappoint
no one
but myself