i am a fat american
i feed upon ancient history
i know the truth but yet
i think i own the magic

i am a fat american
i am bug zapped by distraction
i believe you but yet
i cannot believe in me

i am a fat american
i think i am already free
i know i am lost but yet
i refuse to ask for directions

i am a fat american
i buy low and sell it high
i have faith in god but yet
i let you live in poverty

my fingers
talk to the
skin on your back
and your spine
says the wildest things
ive ever heard

I flicker
between reassuring myself
and planning my funeral

I am violent
I would scratch your eyes
out with spoons
but they're perfection

you belong in formaldehyde
it will preserve you
the seraph who injected
bleach in my veins

but I am queen of the masochists.

Let me be confident.
Let me remember names.
Let me be the best mother I can be.
Let me be the wife my husband married a year ago.
Let me write my words out on paper and not over think things.
Let me show my son the right path.
The path to a world that will make him happy, sad, angry, bitter, better, and stronger.
Let me forgive those who have hurt me.
And keep those that have never hurt me safe.
Let me believe in something.
And stop being so **** cynical.
I need to be everything that I can and want to be.
Please Amanda allow yourself to be what you don't want to be out of anything else in the world.
Please let me be vulnerable.