spring is when things start to boil over
people fall in love, break out of it,
burn, awaken- the world wakes up and is born
you look out the window and the air doesn't make you numb
it quickens you, quickens something within you
and your soul is alive again your soul is alive again
your soul is alive again, so alive- and you can feel,
and in this thawing, everyone collapses and falls together in a muddy mess
we were pillars of ice standing alone but now we melt
our fur stands on its wet ends as we yawn, calling for our mothers
when for so long it seemed broken, dead and gray, all things suddenly are green, and so
we find each other in spring.

"How are you feeling?"
"I feel nothing."
"Patient stable."

lighten up. it is funny.

loving someone is seeing Christ in them
and being in love with someone is seeing Christ in yourself.

"There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves *****."

Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.
Oscar Wilde

"the power to question is the basis of all human progress."

love isn't meeting someone perfect for you in a perfect situation
love is meeting someone who makes you want to be perfect
someone who makes you want to make yourself the best, for them
because you'd die before you let them see the light die in your eyes
and you'd die if the whole world ended, but before then, a thousand times.

If you're going to do something, you must either do it only once or every single day. Anything you do occasionally is not worth doing at all.

he's a hero, a lover, a prince
she's not there.

"You have work to do."

all this life is learning your place
and all next life is living there

falling in love with love or the idea of spring and new life

Too caught up to see the light but somehow it's been sneaking in piece by piece and I'm fine

I'm going to be everything I can, and more
for you, yes- but also for me
and eventually for someone who will need me
and for everyone, right now, who already needs me
because I'm tired of living in dreamland.
It's time to wake up. I'm alive.

walking on a tightrope of sunshine, swaying back and forth
but it shines even to the bottom- and the fall,
oh, the fall- is the deadliest of thrills.

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people earth. Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, to absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their ***." ~ Charlotte Bronte (Jane Eyre)

"A masterpiece is still a masterpiece when the lights are off and the room is empty."

I have a secret.
If there seems to be something missing
and you're scared you'll never find it
everyone else seems to have it, and it looks nice
but no one has exactly made you feel like this,
Open your mind. That's what I did.
It's right there waiting.

I must become better. I know I have it in me
I can.

would you be willing to write my name in your bones

build me up and hold me there
I'll help you too, people were made for each other
and sometimes it doesn't work out but sometimes it does
we weren't meant to handle this alone.

They would rather you be an invisible man.

"we ar too young to realize that some things are impossible
so we do them anyway."

losing it

I sat there a while, growing wilder and fighting against it. I couldn't leave and I had to keep contact in order to fight. But I would never be the same. Never. After tonight I wouldn't ever look the same, or feel the same. Just what I'd be, I didn't know; I couldn't go back to what I was- which wasn't much- but I'd lost too much to be what I was.

I was heading for the door, torn between anger and a fierce excitement, hearing the phone click down as I started past and feeling her swirl against me and I was lost, for the conflict between the ideological and the biological, duty and desire, had become too subtly confused. I went to her, thinking,

Let them break down the door, whosoever will, let them come.

careful making wishes in the dark

rock bottom keeps getting lower.
time for me to rewrite this poem.
This only means I have higher to climb-
this only means bliss will be happier
it only means I can be better
it only means at the end of the road I will look back
and will know I've come even farther than I can imagine.

oh but that's okay I'm fine with what I have

it's so funny how love consumes everything we are
but then, it's not funny, it makes sense- we are made in God's image
and God is love. We are beings created by and for loving,
and we will always be this way.

would anyone like to spend a day somewhere away, just free
without feeling like we have to be anywhere or do anything
without feeling like we even have to speak,
let's go, I'm ready to let you be you and let me be me.

I want to scream until everything clogging up my airways is gone
all the stale air has been expelled, and I have a new set of lungs.

free your mind, nothing here really matters
you belong somewhere more than this
break your chains and get ready for your life
it's waiting

love is more than these ****** stupid tiny ****** ******* cuntfucking
***** ***** ******* ******* ******* ******* ******* tightass ***** feelings

I'm ready to be free. But what will it take?

The roller coaster can only tick tick tick tick tick so high
before it holds you over and makes you watch yourself
as you fall. Don't look back. It's even worse.

when it's just me and you the whole world seems to fall away
but in the bustle of the whole world, me and you seem to fall away
and doubt creeps in between us.

I am still less than I should be
less than I think I am
and less than anyone deserves

please, that I may see God's face, write in the stars what you mean
if you will not tell me.

"Survival is for the human animal; fear the motivation. For the spiritual being survival is irrelevant. Curiosity, compassion and creativity are the name of the game; unconditional love the motivation." ~ Peter Shepherd

why? is it my failing grades? My sneaking out at night? My ******* addiction? My late-term teenage pregnancy? What could possibly make this worth it?

how long until I have no more safe places

I know you love me, but
what will it take to make you like me again?

do you see what's happening? How could you not?

these discourses are too private to even share with the sky himself

dying to see how this one ends

what happens when you can't get enough of someone
so you take everything you can get your hands on
even their freedom and their spirit until there is nothing left of them
all of it belongs to you and what you do with it is you leave
and you take it with you and wave goodbye and never speak again
except to say sorry, and one day to hold hands while you watch the stars
and in a small fragile moment I tried to give it back to her
but the hole I left was not the same shape and it didn't fit, exactly
so now I have it, I have all of her, and I will hold it close to my heart
my stolen treasure, another person's soul- forever.

we're all letting ourselves get so wounded so deeply by so many people

all poetry does is create an aesthetic with words
all I can do is sit inside my room while lightning flakes
across the sky with fireflies and dragons of rain, gallons and gallons
drifting down in not-quite-a-race over my lukewarm roof
white faces sit together in black chairs while black faces dot the walls
I am warm now, when I used to be cold- but I don't know
if I can feel anymore, I'm rubbing my toes but they're numb
I don't know if anything is broken. Is anything broken?