it is exactly like I promised
nothing is the same except the world I left
I am now a transplant, confused and bewildered
by the odd looks and the burned bridges
the person I am now would never have
but the person I was did, and I am mature enough
to realize that it doesn't make a difference who did what
but that it was done, it was done,
and it's over- the only place I can go from here is up.

like a glacier, you rested heavily on my soul, and, leaving, carved me into a different shape than I had ever been seen in before.

I like my body when it is with your body
there's something so trusting with so much history
that I've been searching for, and when you laid
back in my arms we were home again, an
extension of my self, the formality of long past ages
a whole universe and less complex than that, but more
the rest of glaciers in valleys and snowflakes melting together
a breath, our heartbeats collide, my hand stays on your waist
we're alone in the whole world, looking out, but it is just us
it has always been just us.

things will change, I'm sorry
although I feel I'm leaving an unfinished business
sometimes God wills it.

the way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine.

For once, I hope things don't change
(I think it's because you're rubbing off on me).

the only requirement for a thing to be good and beautiful
is that it be true.

a new soul is the most free of them all
because she has not yet learned to be scared of her own depths.

I wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one, for miles and miles
except for maybe you and your simple smile
oh it sounds good to me, yes it sounds so good to me.

you have been measured, and found wanting.

the act of loving someone is when you choose to see Christ in them
and the feeling of loving someone is when Christ shows Himself in you.

part of letting go is knowing how large you are,
how much of the galaxy is written in your bones
and part of loving someone is giving every single star to them.

when you forget the way my voice feels on your ears
and you pushed away the thoughts of my hands on your body
and the night no longer smells like me
and you don't jump when your phone rings
that's when I come back. That's when I came back.

when you leave someone because that's what they need
you don't ever really let them go
(and maybe that's the type of love they need.)

yelling at the air in your car doesn't feel as good
and it sure as hell doesn't feel like it should.

...but you don't care, do you?

Everybody feels a little crazy
But we go on living with it
Yeah they go on living with it

I'll tell you one thing
We ain't gonna change much
The sun still rises
Even with the pain

I'll tell you one thing
We ain't gonna change love
The sun still rises
Even through the rain

Maybe I am a star that is constantly engaged in dances
with others, always to swirl around the cosmos
and use each others' gravity to fling further
maybe, because we are stars, we have to wait til the night
to know where we are- and maybe, because we are stars
it was never our destiny to stay.

I disguise
And I will lie
And I will take my precious time
As the days spent away
As I stand in line
And I die as I wait as I wait on my crime
And I'll try to delay what you make of my life
But I don't want your way,
I want mine
I'm dying and trying
But believe me I'm fine
But I'm lying,
I'm so very far from fine

And I can feel the pull begin
I feel my conscience wearing thin
And my skin
It will start to break up and fall apart

I don't wanna fall or fall away
I don't wanna fall or fall away
I'll keep the lights on in this place
'Cause I don't wanna fall or fall away

"I think God loves all,"
he said, and that beautiful boy
showed me, in a single sweep of tears,
that God wants nothing else but more love in the world.

think of how much love that's been wasted
people always trying to escape it
move on to stop their heart breaking
but there's nothing I'm running from
you make me strong.

people assume that everyone else thinks and is
exactly like themselves- that's just a fact of life
so if you look at yourself and you see someone
selfish, foolish, broken, and hurt, when you **** up
you blame yourself for it- then when you see someone else
**** up, you assume it's because they're selfish, foolish,
broken, and hurt. But if you learn to forgive yourself,
when you learn to love yourself, and know that your
****-ups and your mistakes aren't the end of the world
then maybe you'll look upon your brother and know
that they're just another human going through the
same pains as you are, the same hard times, and that
it's not their fault, because it wasn't yours, and maybe
we're all worth forgiving. That is the worth of self-love
because it grounds you in your humanity rather
than casting yourself above or below those around you.
Self-love destroys your loneliness because when you hate yourself
you end up hating the people around you- and when you
love yourself, not only do you love the people around you
just for being who they are, but you enjoy being alone with
your own person, because you're worth it and you're beautiful
and you are someone worth loving.

the only way to become better
is by learning to accept yourself
where you are now- and changing from there
but until you know that who you are is worth loving
you can't show everyone else that
they're worth loving as well.

and in the end, when our eyes have closed and our hearts have been shattered
by people other than each other, and the dark settles and we're both afraid
because we both can't stand being alone in it, and in the end, when
God calls you by your name, I'll be waiting, or you will, up by the gates
of heaven because I know that we both are scared of hell, in the end
I'll have already written your name a hundred thousand times in the clouds
so that maybe by the time you meet me up there, the whole world
will know how much you mean to me. In the end,
when we forget what each others' laugh sounds like and our tears
come because we're tired and we can't laugh anymore about it,
and you don't text me good morning anymore, and my bloodstream
isn't shot with chemicals from you anymore, and I can't fill your heart
anymore, and Massachusetts doesn't remind me of you anymore, and
there are no more I love you's and I miss you's anymore and people don't
think we're gay anymore and people don't know the half of it anymore
then, with my last breath, I want you to know
that you've carved the shape of my heart in unexpected and beautiful ways
and I think about you more than you know and we've only scratched
the surface of what we have and what we don't have
I want you to know that I'll never meet someone who can write
the word 'synonym' and make me feel so much with just that,
I want you to know that I'll never meet someone so much like me again
and that in the end, being your friend has changed the course of my life
I cannot express all that I know or all that I feel about you,
or if I even should, because I'm a ******* nerd, and also too deep,
I cannot show you in this lifetime the amount of coincidences
and God-driven chance, and destiny, that has put us together
in the same place and in the same time on this Earth
I cannot explain to you the amount of beauty I see in you
but I am glad that someone so beautiful exists at all.
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.

if you want to shine like the sun first you must burn like it
(but then you must be sure not to let Icarus come too close).

the day I became a man was the day I stopped saying,
"I am meant for so much more"
because I realized that
"I am meant for exactly this."

I would reach through the fabric of time and space
if it meant I could hug you or see you or talk to you again
just so that a friend could heal a friend
if only a little bit, if only for a little while
it was just too soon, and if you were more of a math person
rather than an english one- you'd know that a circle
has an infinite number of sides when you look at it closely enough.

there is a stunning unity in being human
but a terrible loneliness as well.

"Just as each snowflake is unique, so is each person. Your primary purpose in life is to experience life from one individual, unique point of view. You are an expression of Infinite Being as it experiences itself from all possible viewpoints." ~ Owen Waters

sometimes I, too, am afraid of the dark
and I'm giving constant reassurances and advice to empty rooms
because I'm scared that I'm the only one that needs it
and maybe if I say these words loud enough then someone will hear
hear just enough to remind me that I'm human just like the rest of you
what are the rest of you?

even when you think you are having trouble breathing
I dare you to just wait a few minutes
and if you're still alive then you aren't having trouble breathing
and if you just feel like the sun is crashing down upon your chest
then that's okay too.

write me into oblivion because I sure as hell can't do it

who is the kind of person that
sees the kind of person and knows
the kind of person that lives within
the kind of person who breathes the kind
of person that loves the kind of person
that is worth loving?

also, it's hard to sleep alone.

what do you do when you don't seem to fit into much anymore
and you don't know where to walk because you don't know
who, if anyone, can handle you, what do you do
when pulling yourself together requires hardening your heart
and if it's true, then, if it's true that in order to obtain
something of equal value must be lost, then what do we stand to lose?

I CANNOT BEAR WITNESS TO THE THINGS I LOVE OR THE THINGS I DESPISE WITHOUT BURNING EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF EYES THAT WATCHES ME.

you forget how much a tender heart bleeds.

Seventy years ago, something happened that we have reduced
to the **** of jokes and to a figure in a distance
seventy years later we have forgotten the tears
but we should still be crying, if your heart is raw
and your bones are brittle, then you should feel it
in the place where words cannot go, it should cut
too deeply to ever heal.

time makes you bolder,
children get older.
I'm getting older too.

If I could write ten thousand reasons in the stars for you to see
and know that I love you, then I would
but galaxies divide us, and I didn't even get to say goodbye.
Just know that part of you has shaped my sky.

"When we pass by another person without telling them we love them it’s cruel and wrong and we all know this.”

it goes on.

In the heat where you lay
I could stay right here and burn in it all day
waking up, beside you I'm a loaded gun
I can't contain this anymore
I'm all yours, I've got no control

so much of me is "if only"

wish I could freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this

what does dominion mean?

I have something rare and something beautiful
(but it is not beautiful just because it is rare.)

times like this, I fall ever more deeply in love with the human experience.

scared to be awake and scared to fall asleep

loving someone is like God gave you an unlimited debit card that withdraws from His own sacred heart.