i cannot stand to be here anymore
i lay in bed and dream of leaving
this is not the way it should be

my parents house or his house?
the line is blurred now
this whole ******* place, the whole ******* town

i used to look forward to breakfast in the mornings
now i stay up late wandering
and sleep through my alarm
grab something to go and spend my days alone

smoking used to be our thing but now
i only ever do it by myself
i smoke alone and shut my eyes and hope i fall asleep before i come down

my fathers nose and my mothers eyes and my own hair covering them both
at least on my face we are all still together

i cry in my car alone every time i leave you
2 AM, pulling my car on the side of the road again
sometimes ill still take the blame for it
all of this is all my fault
i think

what is left for me?
another night alone in my room dreaming of running away

A blister on my thumb
my stubbed toe on your door
the scars on my feet from the ocean we danced in
the aching feeling between my thighs after you leave
the empty space in my head when you're not around
your laundry mixed with mine
the smell of you on my pillows
the song stuck in my head that you sung to me this afternoon
my smooth legs
and your rough face
I want to take you in and save you from the cold
I want to be older and you still be around

I had a first love
the sun rose and set with him
he was my everything
and had my everything
and then one day I found
that I didn't love my first love anymore

First love implies there is a second
that's you, for me
my second, my last

My worst fear is that one day
you'll find out what I found out back then
and then I'll be the one left haunted by you
left behind as your first