I warned him, before we stepped into inferno, I warned him
I said, please
Bear with me
He said we have our wine, we'll be fine
And I looked away and forced a small half-laugh because
He didn't know how much familiarity
One statement could hold.
Fast forward and I'm sitting on your piano bench
Playing your out of tune piano
You put your head on my shoulder
And cried as I sang
Songs I mutilated from
The mould you made for me
So long ago.
Then time passed and the more belligerent you became
The more sad I got so I stopped
Playing for you and sat at the kitchen table while you
Poured yourself more red wine and kept crying
That's when he asked if we needed time alone,
"To talk", as he worded it so
He left me alone in inferno with you
And you said nothing except
You don't understand you don't understand, you'll never
Understand but
I love you, please stay.
Then he came back and offered you a morsel
Of compassion, which you so indifferently accepted you said
I watched my mother die
I watched my brother die
I watched my father die
And I'm ******* done.
I sat there silently laughing because here I was, all this time
Trying my very hardest to die and it occurred to me
You haven't noticed and
You probably never will until
I am finally actually gone.