Crying is not a sign of weakness.
It’s a sign of strength.
It’s a sign of letting yourself go
and not holding yourself back.
It’s a form of expression
a silent expression
an emotional expression
a vulnerable expression
a brave and strong expression
letting everyone know that you can’t
take it anymore.
Small drops of water
coming from your visual peripherals
come tumbling down
the sides of your face
like an overflowing waterfall
From eye to chin
each watery teardrop
represents and symbolizes
you breaking free
from the pain you experienced
in the past.
No matter what pain
you’ve gone through,
every time you cry
you let your past
stay in the past.
You don’t let it go to the present
nor to the future.
You let it stay in the past.
What I’m trying to say
that it’s OK
to let it go.
It’s OK to
break free
and be free.
It’s OK to come alive.
It’s OK to create
your own personal
overflowing waterfall
all over your beautiful face.
It’s OK to cry.
Don’t listen to other people
that tell you that you’re
weak, a baby, or a crybaby
for that matter.
Don’t listen to other people
that tell you that you’re
hopeless, worthless,
or that you are
not good enough
for them.
Don’t listen to other people
that tell you that you’re
never going to make it
through life
no matter how hard
or how many times
you try.
Instead, show them.
Show them that you’re
just a regular
human being
and prove
to them that
regular
human beings
have real
emotional feelings.
Show them that you’re
never afraid to
show off and
let go of your
vulnerable feelings
that you’re
hiding inside.
Show them that
they too can
let go of
their own
emotional and
vulnerable feelings
that they’re
hiding inside.
If they can’t
let go of
their powerful
and moving
feelings,
they will have
cold, frozen hearts.
Bottom line,
we all need
to shed some
beautiful and
powerful tears
every so often
in our lifetime.
We all need
to create our
own rivers,
lakes, streams,
creeks, ponds,
seas, and oceans
full of one of
the most moving
and powerful
human senses
that we shed
throughout our
lifetime.
And it all starts
with a overflowing
waterfall
coming from
the most important
visionary living organs.
Our eyes
are the window
to our emotional
and vulnerable
soul.
That soul is
willing to come out
from the visual
window
and it will do
whatever it takes
to do just that.
But it needs
your permission.

It’s time to let it go.

It’s OK to cry.

Ever since I was little,
I always wanted to be a performer.
Singing, acting, playing a musical instrument,
I wanted to do this profession for the rest of my life.

So I put this creative dream into action,
by going to auditions for roles in the theatrical productions,
competing in national and international music competitions,
performing in talent shows, school/community plays,
family event gatherings, school commencement ceremonies, etc.
I am doing just about everything
to get my foot in the door
that opens
to the world of
the entertainment industry.
I tried to open that door
several times!
But the door itself
wouldn’t budge.
It was closed
and locked shut.

My dreams of a creative, artistic,
and entertaining life
will be……


just a dream that won’t come true.

People going
From place to place
Or in their
Own little world,
Yet they’re still
Calm and content.
The Oviatt Library
Standing tall
and proud.
Inside
It’s very functional
In various ways
But outside,
It’s calm and content.
Different kinds of trees
Swaying gently
With the calm winds
With their foundation
Being strong
and firm
and their likeliness…
calm.
These aspects
Do have a purpose
In some way
No matter
How good or bad
Their life is
They still have
The same feeling
On the outside,
But their
TRUE feelings
Are different
On the inside
They’re acting like
Their life is perfect
And they’re
In control of it
but in reality…
They can’t.
They’re calm…
but their life
is disoriented.

O LORD,
how wonderful
and great you are!
How awesome you are!
O LORD,
I love you
so much
as a teacher and friend!
O LORD,
hear my cry
from the pitch black darkness
in this cruel world
that I am living in.
Let your light
From your loving heart
Shine through me
And in this
Confused,
Twisted,
And struggling path
That I’m walking on,
Guide me,
Show me,
teach me your ways.
I’m hungry
for your love!
I’m thirsty
for your grace
and power!
I’m longing
for the victory
in you, LORD!
Let me be
your example
as a giver
to the world!
I will spread
The glory,
The praise,
The worship,
And the good news
Of just
how beautiful
you are!
So that they too
will come to live
in you!

Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Application.                                        Audition.                                       Tryout.
Interview.                                          Callback.                                       2nd Round Tryout  
Interview.                                           Callback.                                       3rd Round Tryout.
Interview.                                            Callback.                                      4th Round Tryout.
Interview.                                            Callback.                                      5th Round Tryout.
Interview.                                             Callback.                                     6th Round Tryout.
REJECTED.                                         REJECTED.                                 REJECTED.


No matter how hard I try to put myself out there
to get my foot in the door,
I always end up on the outside looking in.
I can’t seem to get out of this cycle.
I can’t take this anymore.
When will I get my big break?
Not anytime soon.
With all of this rejection that I am getting,
it’s tough to put myself out there.

The night has fallen
Bad guys have scattered the streets
Let’s get dangerous

Whipped out his gas gun
He swooped out of the shadows
The terror that *****

Looks for the bad guys
Approaches them in the distance
**** gas, evildoer!

Took out his smoke bomb
He creates his grand entrance;
Very Determined

He’s ready; willing
For the villains to make their move
Let’s get dangerous  

Fights crime all night long
Ducks every fist-punch and kick
He is Darkwing Duck!

He is the victor
At the end of every night
The Midnight Mallard

Champion of right
Daring Duck of Mystery
He is “The Duck Knight!”

A father by day
Then a crime fighter by night
lives the double life.

It’s one of the best
Disney Afternoon shows ever.
It’s simply the best.


Darkwing Duck, Copyright of Disney. Est. 1991.

Over 7 Billion People living in this world.
7 BILLION.
And each and every one of them is trying to “FIT IN” in their societies.
They tried.
And tried.
AND TRIED.
But they just don’t seem
To overcome that obstacle.
We’re broken.
We’re just broken.

I am one of them.
I have tried to put myself out there
Over and over again
With the result of ME being REJECTED
Or worse, DEFEATED
Several times.
It happened to me when
I’m APPLYING for
JOBS,
AUDITIONING for an ACTING ROLE in
THEATRICAL PRODUCTIONS,
COMPETING in a global
ALL-FEMALE MUSIC COMPETITION
A few months back,
Or any other individual competitions
A few years back,
WRITING a BUNCH of POETRIES and PERSONAL NARRATIVES,
TRYING to BE ACCEPTED to or BECOME a part of
different kinds of social groups
(Sometimes it gets awkward),
TRYING to get some people to
Sign up, contribute, and support a
Campaign that I’m involved in,
With the result of me
NOT FITTING IN.
It even happened to me
When I’ve made a lot
Of MISTAKES,
Both big and small,
And not LIVING UP
To their STANDARDS.
Also even when I TRIED
To COMMUNICATE my ideas and opinions with
Other people,
I would ALWAYS get
SHUT DOWN.

I’m CRUSHED,
HEARTBROKEN,
A FAILURE,
UNSUCCESSFUL,
And I just feel like that
I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP.
NOBODY is paying ATTENTION
To ME.
NOBODY CARES
About ME.
Even my family’s RELATIVES
Or someone else,
Don’t CARE with what I’m
DOING WITH MY LIFE,
And it’s all because
THEY DON’T ASK ABOUT ME.
Sometimes they’ve
MISTAKEN me for my
Older sister
Or someone else’s daughter
that looks like me.
I’m also ALONE
Because most of my “come-and-go” friends
ARE TOO BUSY
Living out their own lives
Just to HANG OUT WITH ME.
I JUST WANTED SOMEBODY
TO TALK TO OR TO HANG OUT WITH.
I don’t have one TRUE BEST FRIEND.
It’s kind of hard for me to find just ONE.

Sometimes I feel like that my life
Is SO NOT WORTH IT,
And that I just want to DIE.
What’s the use of me
LIVING THIS LIFE?

Many people are exactly like me; trying so hard doing what they love just to get a foot in the door and yet they don’t feel right at home because the society doesn’t want them just yet. Some of them are alone and need a friend, like me.

I feel like I’m experiencing “quarter-life crisis”

I am ready to start living my life doing what I love or get a job so that I can start taking care of myself; why is anyone not paying attention to me?

Worldly problems: Politics (Democratic/Republican), Christianity (Catholic/Protestant), Religion (Christian/Muslim), Gun Violence (Debates of Rights to bear arms), War on Terror, Protests (Occupy Wall Street or any major U.S. city), Homosexuals/Heterosexuals, Abuse (Physical/******), Human and *** Trafficking, Abortion, People Hating Other People, etc.

We need to set aside our differences so that we can work together and come up with a solution that will help solve our problems

We need to be open to other opinions, not only defending our own opinions.

We need to start loving each other no matter what side of the worldly problem we are on.

What’s with the arguments? Can’t we at least get along like regular people?

Each and every one of us is like a broken puzzle piece because we are having a hard time trying to get along when it comes to worldly problems/issues, trying to fit in with the society, and we are struggling to get to where we are going in our lives or to overcome our obstacles or rather come to an agreement. We are also trying to figure out who we are as human beings (Social Location).

We need to just piece together ourselves and then help each other out to piece together this world. We need to bring everything together and come together as one body, one diverse melting *** and become one loving group. It’s not going to be easy, but we need to start somewhere.

We need to become one big jigsaw puzzle which is the world and we will try hard at whatever we’re doing to help keep it that way as well as taking care of our surrounding environment.

Red
Angry Mad
Danger Aggressive Warning
War Violence Abuse ****
Blood

Orange
Energetic Warmth
Strength Courage Determination
Attraction Attention Interest Craving
Citrus

Yellow
Happy Joy
Creative Inspire Imagine
Opportunity Optimistic Ignite Light  
Sunshine

Green
Envy Jealous
Wealth Health Nature
Greedy Nutrition Field Meadow
Grass

Blue
Serenity Peace
Cool Calm Collected
Stream River Lake Ocean
Water

Indigo
Honest Compassionate
Drama Justice Wisdom
Intuition Perception Addiction Meditation
Midnight

Violet
Powerful Royal
Mysterious Magical Fantasy
****** Romantic Passionate Loved
Grapes

Rejection, Rejection,
Oh, how that I loathe thee
It seems to me that you are
NOT my cup of tea.

I have tried to fit in
And to get in on the action,
But you just keep coming in;
giving me a bad reaction.

I have applied myself
To many aspects of life,
You came in, ruined it,
And you’ve given me the strife.

From jobs, internships, applications, and auditions
for a chance to act in the theatrical productions,
to contests, competitions, sports games and tryouts
Thanks to you, I’m feeling left out.

I’ve lost the hope, I’ve lost the faith
In any aspect that I put myself into,
You, Rejection, are the cause of all of this
You’ve made me feel sad and blue.

I feel like I’m a loser
And I’ve given up the fight
You’ve kept me in the darkness
I can’t seem to see the light!

I have big dreams and goals
Wanting to be an entertainer;
You just set my dreams and goals aside.
That’s a no-brainer.

I’m depressed and lonely
And it’s all thanks to you!
Rejection, you’ve just made
My nightmares come true!

This is not what my purpose
In life’s supposed to be,
Rejection, please go away!
Please let me be!

I would hide all of my true feelings
From my relatives, colleagues, and friends,
Please stop this, Rejection!
I want it to end!

Rejection, Rejection,
I really hate you!
We’re breaking up and
going our separate ways.
I’m through with you!

I don’t see myself as a victim
Being bullied or picked on at work or school.
I don’t see myself as a failure
which causes me to feel very blue.

I don’t see myself as a miserable person
Doing something that I don’t enjoy,
I don’t see myself as a people pleaser
even though it brings me some little joy.

I don’t see myself as a villain or a sinner
Doing the things that are wrong,
I don’t see myself as a follower
Learning what the leader does all day long.

I don’t see myself as an emotional person
Even though, and every time, I cry a lot
I don’t see myself as a last-minute person
But I do procrastinate right on the spot.

I don’t see myself as average or normal
Or that I am boring or ordinary,
And I don’t see myself as a “nobody”
showcasing my feelings that are not very merry.

But I see myself as a Performer
Living a very, active, creative life,
Acting, Modeling, Singing,
Playing percussion, or being poetic,
By doing this, it will keep me from the strife.

I see myself as a Giver
who gives back in my hometown
Teaching, volunteering, and lending a hand
Is my gift to the world, when they’re feeling down.

I see myself as a role model and a leader
A person that everyone can look up to,
And that leading by example
They will do the same things as I do.

I see myself as a happy, healthy person
Doing the things that I love,
And I see myself as a true Christian
doing good deeds on Earth for the Lord God Above.

I see myself as a human being
That I only have one life to live,
I want to make my mark as a “somebody;”
That will be my only way to give.

I see myself as LOVED,

I see myself as STRONG,

I see myself as BEAUTIFUL and PRETTY,

I see myself as EXTRAORDINARY.

I see myself as BEING WORTH IT.

I see myself as an EXPRESSIVE CREATIVE ARTIST.

I see myself as ACCEPTING.

I see myself as INTELLIGENT, BRIGHT, and SMART.

I see myself as CONFIDENT.

I see myself as RECOGNIZABLE.

I see myself as JUST BEING ME.

The fluffy white clouds
in the light blue sky
are like
float-able light clay.
We can take one of them down,
mash it, mold it, fold it,
and smooth it,
to create new images
and objects.
When finished, we can put our
new creations
right back up in the sky
to love, adore, admire, cherish,
and be proud of our
achievements.
The sky's the limit.

I am such a LONER
for a very long time.
I am traveling, wandering,
running, walking,
far and wide,
near and deep,
just looking for a spot
yearning for a comfort place
where I can be ACCEPTED
surrounded with lots of positive people
doing the things that I love.
I am not there yet,
I am still searching,
going from one place to another
with doors slamming shut on me
along the way,
hearing the word "NO" countless times
feeling that I am
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
for them
and I NEVER will be.
AM I A GOOD FIT?!?!
I am a good fit
for ME.
and NOT for THEM.

It’s extremely hard for me

to keep myself private

from the rest of the world.

It’s also hard for me

to put myself out there

for everyone to see.

Why are you watching me?

You have 3 options:

you either stand out to be known,

blend in with the society,

or hide away.

Will you ever get to know the real me?

You are put here in this world

for a reason.

A reason that will take

a very long time.

A lifetime

to figure out

who you are

as an individual

a human being.

Will you ask me who I am?

And will you listen to the answer?

You are constantly

bombarded by

police officers, security guards, CIA/FBI,

the paparazzi, and news reporters

watching and capturing your every move.

And you decide to watch me.

Why are you watching me?

This will come to a breaking point

that all of this surveillance

will frustrate and overwhelm you.

Which leads me to ask a very important question:

WHY?

Why are you doing this?

Why is it that all of a sudden

every single one of us

dropped what we are doing

just to focus on a single person?

Why are you still here?

Don’t you have a life to live?

Why are you focusing on my life?

Can’t we just leave that person alone?

That person does not

want to be in the spotlight!

Yet you are forcing that person

To be in that spotlight!

You are doing that right now!

I don’t like this!

Do me a favor and just go away!

Leave me alone!

That person does not want her life

To be in public!

She wants her life

To be kept in private!

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

My life is NOT important to you!

Please go away! Get out of here!

She wants to be in hiding.

I need to be in hiding.

She doesn’t want to be seen.

I don’t want to be seen.

She doesn’t want to be bothered.

Don’t bother me.

She wants to be alone.

I need to be alone.

She doesn’t want anyone to see her.

I DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE ME!

Her life isn’t important to everyone.

My life is not important to you!

She wants everyone to go away.

PLEASE GO AWAY! Let me be!

She wants to hide away from this world.

I need to hide away from this world.

She

I

Needs

NEED

To

TO

Be

BE

In

IN

Hiding!

HIDING!

DO HER A FAVOR AND LEAVE HER ALONE!

PLEASE!

I've tried to put myself out there in this world,
but I come up empty handed.
It's me living the "kind-of-unworthy" life.

What is wrong, my friend?
Tell me what is on your mind.
I am here for you.

Twenty seven years
The age where you've peaked stardom,
then you die so young.

Twenty-seven years
The age where you've peaked the fame,
then you're gone too soon.

The world is broken
Filled with war, violence, debates,
yet we still complain.

The light becomes dark
One star gives way for many stars
Good Day is Good Night.

Throughout my life
               I’m having a hard time,
               I stumble and fall
               And struggle through it all.
               I’ve tried to fit in
               But they always shut me out,
               Is there something wrong with me?
               Why they always put me down?

                I need to know what’s going on
                What’s it all about,
                I need to have a purpose
                That will make me stand out.

                I need acceptance in my life
                That will make me feel good,
                I need acceptance in my life
                That will put me in the best mood.
                Acceptance in my life
                Or someone to be loved,
                I need acceptance in my life
                from the Lord God above.

                Acceptance in my life

              

               I want to get in on the action
               But they never let me in,
               Now I have a bad reaction
               to this pleasantry sin.
               I’m rejected and heartbroken
               ‘cause they wouldn’t want me now,
                I’m in desperate need of someone
                to comfort me when I’m down.

                I need to know what’s going on
                What’s it all about,
                I need to have a purpose
                That will make me stand out.

                I need acceptance in my life
                That will make me feel good,
                I need acceptance in my life
                That will put me in the best mood.
                Acceptance in my life
                Or someone to be loved,
                I need acceptance in my life
                from the Lord God above.

                Acceptance in my life
                

                I don’t want to feel left out
                I want to put myself out there,
                I’m sick of being alone
                I just want a friend who cares.
                Yeah, I want to stand out
                I want to be recognized
                And to be known from the world;
                It’ll be the best thing of my life.

                What’s the point of me trying?
                I just know that they don’t want me.
                I can’t take this anymore!
                That’s not what my life’s trying to be.
                I need some experience
                That will help me through my life,
                I will gain some confidence
                That will take away my strife.

                I need to know what’s going on
                What’s it all about,
                I need to have a purpose
                That will make me stand out.

                I need acceptance in my life
                That will make me feel good,
                I need acceptance in my life
                That will put me in the best mood.
                Acceptance in my life
                Or someone to be loved,
                I need acceptance in my life
                from the Lord God above.

                Acceptance in my life

              

               Acceptance in my life

I. The mistaken afternoon
   I'm dressed for the cold.
   Behind the windows,
   It's cloudy, all of the kids
   see the changing of the birds
   in the yellow tree.

   The afternoon was spent out
   along the river.
   And a blush of an apple
   trembles in the roofs.

II.  I'm dressed for the cold
   in the mistaken afternoon.
   Behind the windowpanes,
   the sky is cloudy, and all of
   the kids saw the colorful
   birds in the yellow tree.

   I spent the afternoon
   Along the riverside,
   when a blush of an apple
   falls from a tree.

The best THING
That ever happened to me was
When I was a college freshman.                              
It happened in mid-February of 2009.
Valentine's Day.
A day of celebrating a couple's
Relationship with each other,
A day of romance & companionship,
And a day to say "I love you"
to your significant other.....
While getting SMACKED
In the FACE
By a PILLOW!

I was in San Francisco
at the time.
The City by the Bay.
It was three weeks
before Valentine's Day.
Throughout the entire
San Francisco State Campus,
Hundreds of fliers
Were spread throughout
The college
Describing the big event;
That it's going to be HUGE,
That it's going to be EPIC,
And that it's going to be.....
SUPER, DUPER, FUN!!!!!

I was walking to class
The other day when
I stumbled upon
one of the fliers.
After I read the flier,
I realized that
Since I don't have a
Boyfriend to hang out
With me on that day,
And that my friends
Are too busy
Hanging out with their
Significant others
And that they don't
Have the time to
Hang out with me
On that day,
So I figured
That I MIGHT as well
Go to the event
Just to see what is like
And to pass the time
on the official day of love.

A few weeks have gone by,
I was busy counting down
The days until the big event
While going through
My daily business
as a busy college student.

FINALLY
The day of the big event
Has ARRIVED!
I WAS BEYOND EXCITED!
I CANNOT contain myself.
Instead of studying for my classes,
I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
during the day.

Just a couple of hours before
The start of the big event,
I GRABBED my pillow,
DASHED out of the dorms,
RAN through the college campus,
And got on the MUNI Light Rail
That will take me to the location
of the big event.
Was I alone?
Nope.

A bunch of other exciting college students
From the same college
With their own pillows
were going to the big event as well.
Along the way, more and more
Exciting people carrying their
Own pillows came on board the
MUNI Light Rail en route to the
location of the big event.

When we arrived at the location
Of the big event,
The Port of San Francisco
On the Embarcadero,
It.....was.....MADNESS!
There were tons of people
With their own pillows
Crowding the streets
And the piers
Along the Embarcadero;
They were all looking
At the Port of San Francisco
Building's clock;
Patiently waiting for the big event
to actually begin.
The anticipation was filling the air.

Then, the clock rang
Signaling for ten minutes
until the start of the event.
People everywhere were
Waving their pillows
FRANTICALLY in the air;
They were Cheering, hollering, hooting,
Howling, screaming loudly;
Making ALL kinds of sounds
to pass the time.
The clock rang once again
Signaling for five minutes
until the start of the event.
More cheering, hollering, hooting,
Howling and screaming coming
From the vastly large crowd
As well as more frantically-waving
pillows.

Finally
The moment had arrived.
DING. DING. DING.
DING. DING. DING.
The clock slowly rang six times
Signaling for the start of the six o'clock
hour.
And at the same time,
Hundreds upon hundreds
Of pillows were SMACKED
Against each other
And the feathers were
flying all over the place.
THE GREAT SAN FRANCISCO
VALENTINE'S DAY PILLOW
FIGHT HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN!!!!!

Not only was I participating in the big event,
I was too busy snapping pictures of the big
event with my cell phone.
I've captured some of the most
Memorable moments
From different angles
And from different parts
Of the Embarcadero
of the big citywide pillow fight.
All of the pictures that I've taken
During the event
Were stored into my cell phone
So that I will cherish them
And remember/reminisce them
until the end of my cell phone contract.

Then
I decided that
I should get in on the fun.
So I went down to the main scene
Of the big pillow fight,
And started looking for a group of people
To have a nice, friendly game
of pillow fighting.
Luckily, I stumbled across
A small family;
A father and his two children,
And then.....it was love at first SMACK!
We automatically started to hit each other
with our pillows.
It lasted for a good five minutes.
We are having the time of our lives!
I was having so much fun with the family.

Well,
All good things
must come to an end.
I have a great time,
I wish I could stay for a
Little bit longer, but
I need to go back to the dorms.

Overall, I would rate this event
A 10/10,
Or better yet,
A 100/100.
BEST
VALENTINE'S DAY
EVER.
I need to do this event
EVERY
SINGLE
YEAR.

Whether I'm a single lady
Or in a relationship with a boyfriend
Or just hanging out with my friends,
I will go to this event every year
And I will definitely bring my boyfriend
and my friends with me to this event.
IT DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN
THIS!

In my opinion,
Saying "I love you"
With a box of chocolates,
With flowers,
With a nice dinner and a show or movie,
Or spending quality time doing it in the
bedroom.....
is ordinary.
Saying "I love you"
While getting hit in the face by a pillow
participating in an EPIC citywide pillow
fight.....

Now THAT'S extraordinary!

Nothing
And I mean NOTHING
Says "Happy Valentine's Day"
Than a good old-fashioned
Pillow fight!

Big, Cylinder Drums
Lets out a thunderous sound
The taiko goes "Boom"

Pair of wooden sticks
Strike the surface of the drum
The taiko goes "Boom"

A group of people
Create a sound together
The taiko goes "Boom"

Music and Movement
Together; with a heartbeat
The taiko goes "Boom"

We come together
To see and feel the drum's voice
The taiko goes "Boom"

The fue's light sound
Separates the light from dark
The taiko goes "Boom"

The Rain Stick's light sound
Collides with the drum's big storm
The taiko goes "Boom"

The songs we perform
Celebrate the trials we've been
The taiko goes "Boom"

Blasts of Energy
Pours out towards the audience
The taiko goes "Boom"

Courage, Confidence
Determination; (all) Paid Off.
The taiko goes "Boom."

Gone is My friend
Like a dust in the wind.
She left me her
Sparkly cell phone;
She left her heart
in my presence.
I looked at her cell phone's
Contact list solemnly;
A person who's saying
Goodbye to her family
for the very last time.
A picture of her face plastered the
Left side of her driver's license;
in memory of her happy-go-lucky
personality.
The scent of the cherry lipstick,
Grape chapstick,
Raspberry perfume,
and a pack of Strawberry
Bubble gum
reminds me of her liking for fruit.
A small bottle of hand sanitizer
In memory of her squeaky-clean
attitude.
When I look at these things,
It reminds me of her.

Now that she's gone,

The part of me

Is now

Gone with her.

I will NEVER

get that part back.

Gone is my friend.....

FOREVER.

A red shoebox
Containing birthday cards
My family sent me.
A bunch of screen t-shirts
Reliving the cartoons
of the past.
Twelve pairs of comfortable shoes
that have gone through
Numerous stages of my life.
Three African Dresses
To remember my family's origin.
A ******* book
Containing my childhood disability.
Seven comedy and musical DVDs
To watch and pretend that I'm living out
My dream.
As I look through these things,
I know where I've been,
Where I've come from,
What I'm going through,
What I want to be in the future,
And then realized that I haven't
Found what I'm looking for,
Until I stumbled across
A little green book
That contained a special document
Of my achievement;


This is where I felt good inside.

In my dreams,

I hear the train in my mind

The years have gone by,

I have heard it over and over again.

The train, the stadium, the camp.

I cannot forget this life, what my story is,

I thought I could change, but

How can I pretend I am someone else?

They don't know who I am, they know nothing.

There is nothing left for me.

My scars will never heal.

Sometimes, I want to die.

(Random phrases from the notebook entries; pages 259-261 of the novel Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay-Redrafted)

Let me sing if I can

With a song by a woman;

Keep on singing 'til the day is done,

Then a resting voice I will become.

Lynette

Solitude  Warrior

Struggling through a Confusing Dimension

Not yet been accepted

The light draws near

Dreams become reality

With the feeling of excitement and victory

Lynette Chiamaka Okoroike

There is something
that I wanted to tell you.
  
                                      Earlier this month,
I was talking to my best friend
About a lot of important things
such as boys, dating,
                                      and careers.
  
                                      I came across a
                                      very, touchy subject.
  
I asked my best friend
about my body image.
  
I asked her
“Does my image matter?”
My best friend
                                      responded back with,
“Well, what do you think?”
  
To which
I start to think about it
for a very long time.
  
When I got back home
from my best friend’s house,
I went straight
                                      to my bedroom and
changed out of my day clothes.
I was completely naked,
except I was wearing my bra
                                      and my underwear.
I went to the mirror
and took a very, long look
                                      at myself.
I turned to the left, right, and back
and did the exact
                                      same thing.
All I see is a healthy, curvy,
Beautiful young woman looking
                                     straight back at me.
  
I started to ask myself repeatedly,
“Does My Image Matter?”
While I was asking this question
  repeatedly to myself,
                                      All of the past memories
start to come back to me.
                                     I kept thinking and
asking and thinking and asking,
until at one point, I gave up.
  
Does my image really matter?
  
Does my image matter
when I watch TV, surf the web,
Read newspapers, magazines, ads,
and I came across
Some attracting people showcasing
their perfect bodies
And when I look at my body,
realizing that it’s not
Perfect? That it’s not just like theirs?
  
Does my image matter
when my mother
keeps on pressuring
me
and not anybody else
in my family
to lose some weight?
Doesn’t she like my body
the way it is right now?
Why does she want me
to change it?
  
Does my image matter
when I finally got a role
in a TV Show,
Feature Film,
or a theatrical production
that I have dreamed of
For a long time,
only to find out the directors,
executive producers,
And my agent
wanted and pressured me
to lose a few pounds and
If I don’t do what they tell me to do,
they will reject me all because
I’m not following their standards?
That I’m not just like the
Other actors and actresses
With their perfect, fit, &
Attractive bodies?
  
Does my image matter
When I joined the
Bandwagon of
Millions and millions
Of people all
Across the country
Spending my hard-earned
Cash on
Products upon products of
Hair, make-up, skin, manicure/
Pedicure, weight-loss programs,
Diet pills/shakes, at-home gym
Equipment, gym memberships,
Diet plans, and all that jazz
Only to find out that
It never works with my
Hectic daily schedule?!
Or it never works
at all?!
  
Does my image matter
When I watch an episode of
“Glee” that is about
body image
issues,
When Kitty, a cheerleader, told
Marley, a glee club member,
About how to lose weight by
Just sticking 2 fingers in
Her mouth and
Just ***** so that
Marley can fit into
The costume that
She is going to
Wear in order to
Portray the role of
Sandy Olson
In their school’s
Theatrical production
Of “Grease?”
What would I do if
I was in Marley’s
Shoes?
  
Does my image matter
When the professionals,
Scientists, and authors
From the University of
Washington
Explain that the
Media itself
Is responsible for
Holding up “a
Thinner & thinner
Body image as the
Ideal for women?”
That they also state that
Throughout their
Childhood,
Women are extremely
“unhappy with their
Bodies”
And the percentage
Representing that
Statement
Increases rapidly from
Age 13 to age 17?
Was I happy or
unhappy with
My body during that
Time?
  
Does my image matter
If I stopped worrying
About my body?
That I could just eat
Whatever the heck I
Want?
That I could just sit on
My ****
All day long
And not get enough
Physical activity
So that when I
Walk down the
Streets of my
Hometown
Proudly,
nobody would
Notice how big,
Fat, and ugly
I have become?
Would I just be a
Doormat?
Would I become
An easy
Target?
  
Does my image matter then?
  
Does my image matter now?
  
Would my image matter in the future?
  
Would my image matter anytime soon?!?!
Now you listen to me.
Just take a very, long
Look at me.
What do you see?
What do you like &
Dislike about me?
Do you love
Or hate me?
And in your
Honest opinion,
  
Does my image matter to you?
  
Let me tell you something.
As of right now,
my image does matter.
  
It matters to me
And me alone.

She was once an intelligent and beautiful girl

The only one that her parents cared for in this world,

She was an attention-getter; the leader of the pack,

She is always moving forward and never turning back.

Now she has turned to the life of crime

Been going to prison for her wrongdoings from time to time,

Her parents don’t like the way she was acting now

She is now moving backwards and not turning her life around.

Now she is all alone and doesn’t have someone to talk to,

And all she does is cry, cry, cry; not knowing what to do.

“I don’t belong here,” she says, “and I don’t know why;

I don’t just sit around and cry, cry, cry!”

All she wants now is to be loved

She has no other choice, but to look up above

“I don’t belong here, Lord,” she says, “please get me out of here

I want to turn my life back around, don’t you hear!”

A few years later, she is back to being a good girl again

She is putting her life back together and was feeling no more pain

Her family and her friends are very proud of her

She is now, once again, feeling like a winner.

I am the voice, a voice that’s healing

I am the voice, a voice that’s smooth,

I am the voice, a voice that’s soothing

I am the voice; that is calling out to you.

When you hear a sound of love and comfort

And listening is your only choice,

You will feel so much better when you hear

the love and comfort of my voice.

It’s a song of faith, hope, and love

It’s a song of justice and truth,

It’s a song of calmness, gentleness, and peacefulness

It’s a song that will soothe you.

I am a voice that is breathtaking,

A sound that gives you a great view;

A song that makes you feel so serene

And as a person that wants to get to know you.

I am the voice that is loving

And a voice that is collected and cool,

I am the voice that is soft and tranquil

That just wants to say, “I love you.”

I was there for you when you got sick,

I was there for you when you got beaten or hit.

I was there for you when your baby is due,

I really, really care for you.

I was there for you when you won the race

When you beat all of those competitors and came in first place.

When you are ready with the dreams that you want to pursue,

I am there for you and I will care for you.

When you’re asleep, I’m with you by your side,

When you’re on a theme park attraction, I’m with you for the entire ride.

When you’re sad, lonely, and you don’t know what to do,

I’m there for you and I will care for you.

I’m there for you for all of these things and more

I’m there for you for what your life has in store.

No matter where you go and no matter what you do,

For always and forever, I will care for you.

The sky turns dark and gray as numerous clouds rolled into town to stay

So as a person starts to feel depressed as important aspects of her life caused her to feel stressed

The sound of thunder shook the dark heavens as lightning lit up the dark sky

She faces her life’s challenges as time and time goes by

Drops of water come tumbling down and splatters on the earth like a stain

After all of the challenges that she has faced, she is in a lot of pain

The storm has arrived, and it brought a huge force to create a lot of damage;

She has given up her battle with the challenges that she couldn’t manage.

As tears fall down from the sky, so as the tears fall down from her face

“Guide me through the storm,” she cried, “Lord, with all of your grace.”

A few days later, the storm has ended and the clouds start to break away

She felt so much better to see that her life has healed and it was, in fact, a beautiful day.

She rejoiced and was glad and she thanked the Lord God again

That she made it through the storm once more and she feels no more pain.

The feet touched the warm sand and it leaves a small impression,

The wind coming from the vastly waters leaves you with a great expression;

Along the path where land meets sea

Huge works of art filled the tan canvas with great memories.

The human populace, young and young at heart

Come together to enjoy their time at this specific landmark

As the light-gleaming rays of sunshine

Shimmer down to glow on the flesh of yours and mine.

We gaze towards the west where the blue heavens meet the blue sea

As numerous waves crashed towards us like a very huge stampede.

We have a great time enjoying ourselves in the shoreline by the bay,

This, Ocean Beach, makes San Francisco a beautiful city to visit day by day.

A quiet person
sits still, and is in deep thought
with a challenged mind.

I like being quiet
It’s what I do best
It’s hard for me to get the things
Off of my chest.

I do have a lot of thoughts
Scattered throughout my brain,
Hard for me to convert from thoughts to phrases
It puts me in a lot of pain.

When I talk to people, I stumbled and jumbled
With the things that I want to say,
All they do is they don’t care about me
And that keeps me at bay.

It’s hard for me to make some friends
For they always come and go,
I would go from one person to another
that I will never get to know.

With that, I sit alone in my room
Watching my life go by,
Tear after tear starts dripping from my eyes
causing me to cry.

Sometimes, I take walks by myself
Along the river parkway,
And while I’m looking at nature
My mind just ponders throughout the day.

Writing is my alternative to talking
I write all of my thoughts down,
Sometimes I would get stuck
At getting my point across
But nonetheless, I let it all out.

I would get into arguments with people
With the result of me in defeat,
It was hard for me to stand my ground
And I can’t seem to get off of my feet.

I would always get emotional
‘cause they would always shut me down
I would get interrupted all of the time;
feeling like I’m in a deep hole in the ground.

I like being quiet
It’s what I do best
I try to express myself,
But…well…you know the rest.