I watched you as a smile spread across your face.
With no words spoken or sound uttered
I knew the perfect curve of your lips
came strictly from your
beautiful mind.
I wish I could take that unabashed smile
and lock it away for a rainy day
or toss it up to the heavens and let the stars
catch it in their silvery hands
because I swear your smile could reflect the sun.
As your smile grew each pearl that was revealed added new value...
I wanted the smile to be about me.
I wanted the next time you grinned to be shared with mine,
but it can never happen if I sit here
quietly.

God was in a good mood the day he crafted you.
He chuckled as he carved your hands,
smiled as he opened your mouth,
snickered as he stamped a birthmark on your back,
and he gently laid you to sleep for your journey to earth.
You were shrunk down and sent,
as all children are,
to the chosen family to fit your needs.
You grew into the person you are now,
but maybe it doesn't feel right,
like you are missing a gift
God had given,
it was lost in translation
on the trip down from heaven.
Maybe,
maybe the world clipped your wings.
Maybe, somewhere along the line,
you were punished for trying to fly.
Your mind was caged
and your thoughts were cut to fit into a box.
But you have power beyond it all.
Muscle and bone working in tandem to create you.
You are a beautifully crafted human being,
With ears to hear words of greatness.
Eyes to see the wonders of our world
and a heart that beats like the feet of a steady traveler.
You!
You are you and there has
never been anyone who can measure up.
So continue on your journey through life
and walk on weary traveler
and remember that you can
always overcome strife.

My first kiss tasted of soy sauce.
Not literally tasted! We didn’t go that far,
but the bitter saltiness of it
only enhanced the sweetness of the moment.
He had never had Chinese food,
And I had never been kissed.
That’s right! At the age of 17
My lips had never met another boy’s
And for the first time, in my car
Outside the band room, I swear I could
have heard music floating in the air
in the small space between my face
and his as he leaned In for a second peck.
We dated for a while, but eventually
We broke up because we were too similar, I guess.
I liked men, and, uh, so did he…
I began to think I missed my chance I that kiss
And the validity of it was brought into question.
Maybe I had missed my chance
Way back on the playground
Because I never stole kisses behind the slide
Or teased the boys with my third grade girlish charm
Like all my other friends.
Maybe, deep down, I knew I could only settle
On true love.
Not just a fling that was only a thing
For a week of “pure bliss”
Because when I find love, I want Full House perfection.
I want a Tanner family connection.
Something that when I go grocery shopping
I can proudly say, “Those kids climbing the walls
And that man knocking on all the watermelons.
Yeah, I’m with them.”
And people will have no other choice
But to understand the perfection I am in.
I hold onto the hope that someday
The strings connecting all the living things
Will tie me together with someone I can love
And who will love me
And one day I will find a man who
Doesn’t have the dreaded cootie disease.
Because for every Adam,
there must be an Eve or where else would we be?
Someday and one day can seem so far way
If you get anxious,
But I will let things fall in place
For me to fall in love.
I just have to remember
Not to be afraid to taste the soy sauce.

Dear daughter,
Let me introduce myself.
Whether you call me your friend, your confidante
Or you call me a **** and crazy,
I am your mother,
Your Ma, your mom, your momma, your mommy,
Your Mother.
I will be your faithful guide, friend, companion.
I Will be your first teacher and your last.
Sometimes I will be in front of your saying “Nice try! But try again.”
Or I may be beside you unsure of the same answer as you.
But sometimes I will follow behind you, learning from you along the way.
Remember the good times
And the bad, and be scared of your feelings
Because fear is an emotion too.
When you become lost, never let the wonders leave your eyes,
Even though you may wander.
But in your wandering, your small hands could touch nations,
If only you would let them.
Just believe the world has magic in it,
Because the moments of small silence give way
To their own kind of bewitchment.
Sing loud and proud like no one is watching…
And if you can’t, Happy Birthday works just as well.
Look for the glow worms, my child,
The baby fireflies,
Because they are a rare creature indeed
And can only be seen at the darkest of times,
Just like the stars.
Let your eyes be like fireflies and your steps like a prance
Because nothing attracts men like a bright girl who can dance.
So move your way closer to me
Because there is a pigtailed shaped hole in my heart
For the little girl that you will always be to me.
Live as many lives as possible and explore several worlds,
But always follow the banana bread crumbs back home by nightfall
Because nothing good ever happens after eleven…
Unless you are making a wish.
And if you are, load every 11:11 wish with a prayer
And aim it towards the sky.
Send a letter to the stars to make room for one more
Because someday you will shine,
But on your way to the top,
Tread lightly, my child,
And don’t wake the beasts
Because they exist
Trust me, I know.
Even when you are grown and have daughters of your own
Think back to me and remember.
Love,
Your Mother