I should not have lied to keep you breathing.
I should have been honest
and sunk you.

you took away my smiles and my joy.
but how did you drown
when you were playing the clown?

i can't help you,
i can't save you,
i don't know how to,
and
i don't want to.

/trʌst/
verb

a magnificent wall you built
that has been breaking
and crumbling
slowly
without you knowing.

i tell myself i'm fine,
but i always thought of what we could be.
it is not the first time.

i have started
drawing the line
with a pen that has
an eraser on top.

i hate you more and more.
but you're still the reason
why i lie awake on the rooftop.

if i could tell you
how much i don't care,
ill be in so much peace.

even though
you have faded away,
i feel like i'm just a chess piece.

im here.
i pushed her,
she is shocked,
she is crying,
she is scared.
i walk away,
out the door.
she ask me
"why?"
with such a fragile tone.
she wails,
she screams.
hands slamming on
the ground.
i dont look back,
i keep walking forward.
fist clenched,
i slam the door frame,
she stops,
i slam the door.
the car engine starts.
im gone.

"I drew a tree on my wall..
..for every time I feel
sad,
depressed or
hopeless,
the tree grows bigger.
Crying doesn't feel good."

"Then keep drawing.
The tree is growing.
You will never know how big it grows.
You will never know where or how you will draw it.
Next time will always be a different part.

Draw when you're
sad,
happy,
depressed,
cheerful,
hopeless,
hopeful.

Expand it.
One day, you will see it sparkling.
Once you stop crying, you forget how to cry
and you will take back those words.

Cry.

                             Keep crying.

                                                                                              Let it out.


                             You are after all,

                                                      

                                                        just a human."

his eyes then became dull.

they say to let go
of the things that
hurt you the most.

but what if
the things that
hurt you the most

was yourself?