Pop them in the morning
Pop them in the evening
This is how I live, now
This is how I survive
This keeps the thoughts from surfacing
This keeps me from going crazy
But I'm drugged all the time
I'm hopped up, held down
Forced to keep on going
Everything's cloudy, nothing's real
Everything's bland, colours just fade.

I don't like what we have
I feel like there's no point
I care for you, more than  you realize
But I can't keep doing what we are
I want you, ***, I do
I'll even go as far to say I love you
But it's a charade if I keep going
It hurts too much to know
You don't see me as I see you
I just can't keep fooling myself

Take a moment
Just step back
Seize what's out there
Now relax
Keep in mind, now
What you're told
Don't forget, though
What you know

I wish she never touched us
I wish he never said goodnight
Quite the way he did
They had no right to treat us
With such resentment, such pain
How could they think they were doing "right"?
Our lives were ****,
Looking back, I hate the way
We were expected to just accept it
Why do we act like children now?
Why do we not wish to grow up?
We had to, too quickly
We were forced to, too fast
I don't remember much at all
But from what I do, I know I hate
Ever inch, ever cell, ever fiber
That makes up her being
Let me see her just one more time
Let me show her what was done
Let me make her feel what I felt,
What we felt, staying
In that nightmare of a house.

It's not about smiles
It's not about love
It's not about progress
It's about giving a ****
About the right people
People like you
Who help those in need
When you're not asked to
It's about looking outside
And seeing the beauty
It's about being alone
And not feeling lonely
It's appreciating the little things
Despite what's occurred
It's meeting new people
In a place so absurd
It's made up of choices
Based on the heart
It's made up of people
Who couldn't dare part
This is the point
Know that I meant it
Life is worth living
Don't you forget it

Let me out
Let me see
The world outside
The world you hate
Let me hear
Let me know
The words you hide
The knowledge you wish
You could run from
You could shelter all
From learning, seeing, sharing

I don't understand.

I know I'm a *******.
But so much so that you can't even
Look at me?
Talk to me?
Fine, I won't hold you back.
Hope we'll smile again someday.

There has to be something different
Something better than this
Life I've found to be painful,
In the slightest way of saying it.
I just want to smile freely.
I just want to be able to fly
Anywhere with the one I love
The most, right by my side.

I'm not ready to go back
To the appointments
To the schedules
To the numbers
To the people
To the strangers
To the anger
To the confusion
I’m not ready to conform back
To the person I thought I wanted to be
**** that!
***** this!
I'm not going to act like
What you think bothers me
I'll live the same as I lived here
It'll annoy you
You may hate me
I'll hate myself
But know what's funny about hate?
It never quite sticks around
Long enough to evolve
Into something more.

Fear overwhelms me
As my forgotten past
Reaches to the surface
And decides that, at long last
I'll remember all those feelings
When we left that day
Oh my god, I'm sorry
Was there no other way?
I was told not one thing
I thought things were fine
Daddy stayed at home,
And I didn't realize 'til time
Decided to pass us by
That things were not all right
Why did we leave daddy?
What if I wanted to stay?
Without mommy there was no screaming
Why'd we have to go away?
He's still there, I know he cared
There was no need to shout
He loved me and I left him
With that I had no doubt.
I didn't understand
This stranger took me in
Why'd she make us leave our home?
What was his greatest sin?
And why could you not tell me
What was going on,
Instead of lying to my face
Pretending you were strong?

I have a secret I cannot share,
For if I do it won't be fair.
You'll drop me faster than before;
Then I'll have no one at all.

In all honesty I just want peace
Within this mind I'm forced to keep.
I can't find help without a voice!
Who'd help one who can't make noise?

I hate this thing! The way I think
Won't ever change. I'm on the brink
Of sanity! What should I do
When all I want is something new?

A sickening feeling growing, consuming
A secret obsession, the temptation unbearable
"Easier than living, breathing, seeing..."
The voices have not stopped
They constantly urge, encourage
Still she does nothing
In the dead of night, she awakens
Small shadows have eyes, staring
She drowns within herself, not knowing where else to go
Fear evaporates and the voices grow
They have never pressed so harshly
She cannot scream, cannot breathe
A burning sensation occurs near her wrist
She tries to stop but fails
Deeper the cuts continue
She has no feeling, can barely see
The voices have stopped, she's finally free

How far will it take me
How high will I go
Before I'm dropped back into
A new place, so low?
I wish I had wings
I'd stay there forever
If only.
I'm sure
I love it too much
Oh well, I guess
Have to let it go
Can't have your cake
And eat it, too
So I'll stay on the balance
For as long as I can
Before I fly too high
And crash way too low.

Tell me a secret
Tell me a lie
Tell me I'm special
Then leave me behind
Whisper a phrase
That makes my heart skip
Hold me so closely
And let us touch lips

Don't say yes
Just so you won't reject
Don't agree
Just so you don't regret
Seeing some tears
Breaking some hearts
Because going along with a lie
Isn't half as bad as denying pleasure

That I want you all to myself?
In a romantic sense, of course.
Do I have to tell you?
Well that's frightening.
How about I just wait?
Sounds absolutely fantastic.

I'm not about to be poetic
I'm not about to hide
Themes, morals, or lessons
Into a few lines or stanzas
I'm not going to talk of rain,
And how each drop is freedom.
I'm not going to speak of lightening,
And how each strike is of fear.
Instead, I'll just write
As if you're right next to me
As if you truly cared
For my scrambled thoughts

I don't want to cry anymore
I don't want to try anymore
To plaster on a fake smile
To pretend like everything's okay
I just want to laugh freely
I just want to finally be happy
Without trying so ******* hard
Think it's possible?
Think it's plausible?
I sure hope so,
But **** praying anymore.

Composure, relax
You must remember how to breathe
Stay silent, shut up
It's not your place for what you think
Be patient, don't worry
Why is this so hard to do?
Don't question, just follow
I just can't stand this "me and you"
It's nothing, don't worry
I just wish I had the *****
To take them, to pop them
To end this life, to heed the call

You are the one,
But I'll never admit it.
It's not just an obsession,
It's a need, a want.
But who am I to say that
One person deserves another?

I'm tired
But sleep is only temporary
I'm sick
But meds only help for now
I'm dying
But right now I'm still breathing
Please, help me
But we both know you can't

Take a deep breath
Just breathe
Life is beautiful
Not just as it seems
Look for the good
In all of the bad things
Don't let it turn you
Look for the meaning
Life is more
Than what you can see
Relax, and reflect
And let yourself be

It's not to be skinny
It's not just for beauty
Guess you could say
For control?
It's not to be lovely
Not so you'll love me
It's so I'm okay
On my own.

Keep it a secret
Don't let them know
They'll try to stop you
Well, **** them! You'll show
That bones should be seen
Why can't they see?
This isn't for them
It's solely for me.
I want to be little
Soon, I'll be small
I'll finally smile,
Have some control
They'll praise me, too
But stab me right back
When I start to chew
And suddenly I'm fat.

Everyone's a genius
Everyone's perfect
Everyone's loved
By someone.

Maybe it's time to think things through
You love me, but do I love you?
Something's giving me reason to doubt
Now I'm confused, do you want out?
I guess what I'm saying is something seems new
Just not sure it's me, but not sure it's you.

The two of them lay soundlessly awake
Not one word said, too many to think
But what's left to say that hasn't been said?
What's left to do than lay silently in bed?
It's a dead end, for sure, but why not stay put?
It's pointless, of course, so why stick it out?
Can't help but wonder, can't help but think,
That maybe, just possibly, there's some sort of link
But maybe there's nothing, could be just that
It's something to do, and nothing more than that

If you were never given rules
Never given chances
Would you ever break them?
Would you ever take them?

I don't mean to be a bother
I don't mean to think the way I do
I don't mean to act this way
I don't mean, don't want, to worry you

I kind of wish it were different
That we met after I had fixed all of this
But at the same time, this is me
And I know this is a part of me that will always exist

I know I'm not perfect
I know I'm not what's expected or noticed
But I really want to make you happy, and if I do
Don't let me go, and just let "us" consist

Of what it has been the past few months
Simple, easy, confusing, yes, but honest and true
If you want the truth, I love it completely,
Being honest, I just love being around you

Now, don't take this as a plea
For attention or some sort of relationship
Just take it as it is, and as it will always be:
A statement of who I am, who we are. I like this.

The murderer screams
Until the world ends
The liar still stands
As all falls to shreds
Tell me, my love,
Do you wish for their world?
Tell me, my friend,
Could you do what they would?

I'm too overwhelmed, I can't be helped
I just want to be able to breathe
I want to smile, I want to laugh hard
I want to be able to feel joy
But I can't, I'm stuck
In this rut called my life
I don't know the reason anymore

I'm nervous
To see your face
To hear your voice
I'm scared
Of what you'll think
Of how you'll act
You know me now
What's really wrong
I've let you in
And now I'm unsure
Of what to do
Of what to say
Of how to act
Around you.

Give me a moment
Give me a second
Let me breathe
Let me think
Let me live
Let me sink
I want to fail
I want to try
To experience this
To experience life

Give me an out
I'm begging you, please
I can't take this pleasure
I can't take this pain
I can't take this pressure
I'm not completely sane
Enough to go through this ****
Not again
Not me

Let's take a drag together.
Smoke with me?
Breathe with me?
Take a year off  your life with me?
Don't worry, it's not that much
Compared to what else you could do.
Want to do that, too?
Why not?

My thoughts are filled with the times that we've spent
I can't seem to forget the words that were said
"I need you, I love you, please never leave me.
I want you, I have you, you have all of me."

The world's in our favor, we'll live for forever
Our love is a blessing, for now and forever
Now, please hold me tight and never let go
We'll live for tomorrow and for all we don't know

The future's a mystery our minds can't predict
But our hearts know for sure we're together in it
We'll last an eternity knowing the truth
That not even death could take my love from you.

Give me a bottle, give me a cig
Make my life worth living again

****** little box
Let me out to breathe
****** little ****
Let me out to see
The world for as it is
Don't let my heart beat fast
I can't help but lose control
Please say that this won't last