I want to lose myself in a crowd
I want to become something greater than me
I want to be enveloped by someone else's melodies
I want to fall, trample, and love strangers around me
I want to feel like I'm being suffocated
I want to disappear in an ocean of chaos

Let me look out there
Let me see the stars
Let me take a smoke
Let me **** my lungs
Let me burn my hands
Let me scar my heart
Let me hurt my eyes
Let me live this life

I wish she never touched us
I wish he never said goodnight
Quite the way he did
They had no right to treat us
With such resentment, such pain
How could they think they were doing "right"?
Our lives were ****,
Looking back, I hate the way
We were expected to just accept it
Why do we act like children now?
Why do we not wish to grow up?
We had to, too quickly
We were forced to, too fast
I don't remember much at all
But from what I do, I know I hate
Ever inch, ever cell, ever fiber
That makes up her being
Let me see her just one more time
Let me show her what was done
Let me make her feel what I felt,
What we felt, staying
In that nightmare of a house.

It's not to be skinny
It's not just for beauty
Guess you could say
For control?
It's not to be lovely
Not so you'll love me
It's so I'm okay
On my own.

Maybe it's time to think things through
You love me, but do I love you?
Something's giving me reason to doubt
Now I'm confused, do you want out?
I guess what I'm saying is something seems new
Just not sure it's me, but not sure it's you.

Keep it a secret
Don't let them know
They'll try to stop you
Well, **** them! You'll show
That bones should be seen
Why can't they see?
This isn't for them
It's solely for me.
I want to be little
Soon, I'll be small
I'll finally smile,
Have some control
They'll praise me, too
But stab me right back
When I start to chew
And suddenly I'm fat.

I'm not ready to go back
To the appointments
To the schedules
To the numbers
To the people
To the strangers
To the anger
To the confusion
I’m not ready to conform back
To the person I thought I wanted to be
**** that!
***** this!
I'm not going to act like
What you think bothers me
I'll live the same as I lived here
It'll annoy you
You may hate me
I'll hate myself
But know what's funny about hate?
It never quite sticks around
Long enough to evolve
Into something more.